


Come Back When You Can

by Lucifers_Pony



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accountant Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha Sam, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Cats, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Lawyer Sam Winchester, M/M, Masturbation, Mechanic Dean, Omega Dean, Omega Gabriel, Omega Samandriel (Supernatural), Past Castiel/Meg Masters, Past Mpreg, Pining, True Mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2018-11-10 02:10:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 50,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11117694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifers_Pony/pseuds/Lucifers_Pony
Summary: Castiel has moved back to Lawrence after five long years in New York trying to make it work with Meg. Freshly divorced and looking to start anew, he can't help thinking of the feisty omega he left behind all those years ago. Little does he know Dean has a secret, and Castiel's whole life is turned upside down when he discovers he didn't leave Dean as alone as he'd thought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at a multi-chapter fic. Will try to update weekly and will be updating the tags as it goes along. Chapters will also probably get longer as the plot moves along. Thanks for giving it a shot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying my first multi-chapter fic. Will try to update once a week. Chapters will likely get longer as the plot goes along.

Castiel sighed, unpacking the last of his silverware as he finished with the kitchen. There was little he found more tedious than moving, and emptying his sparse belongings into his new townhouse was particularly grating. The silence seemed more pronounced in the empty space, his loneliness more obvious. Yet it still felt more appropriate than moving back into a tiny apartment. A home with room to grow, he'd thought.

The place was nice, if empty. Fairly new, with smooth wood floors and a small back garden. Castiel could hardly wait to begin planting, visions of lush flowers and vegetables flashing in his mind. Gardening was one of the things he missed most while living in New York, not having the opportunity in the apartment he and Meg had shared. The idea of sitting out on his back porch and enjoying a cup of tea as he watched the bees provided a brief, pleasant distraction.

But of course, that would have to wait until he was all moved in. Breaking down the empty boxes he took them out to the curb for recycling, stepping back inside to survey his progress. He still had to unpack the living room and some of his books, but for the most part he was done.

Looking at the clock he noticed it was getting late, and he wondered if he should order in or actually go out and buy groceries. His decision was delayed when he heard his cell ringing, and knowing only one person could be calling he reluctantly went to retrieve it from the kitchen.

“Hello, Gabriel.”

“Baby bro! How’s the move in going?”

“Slowly.”

“What, the 5 ½ things Meg let you keep take that long to unpack?”

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose, already feeling a headache coming along.

“Was there something you needed, Gabriel?”

“What? I can’t just call to check in on my favorite brother?”

“You’ve checked in. I’m good.”

“Are you though?” There was a lilt of seriousness in Gabriel’s voice, and Castiel felt himself relent a bit.

“Good enough.”

It was close to the truth. Or at least parallel to it. Castiel was really far from good, but he had reached some sort of tentative equilibrium. Enough to get by. It would have to do, at least for now.

“Uh huh. So you’re almost done unpacking?”

“Yes. I should finish up tomorrow.”

“And you’re place is all set? You’ve got electricity, water?”

“Everything but cable. They’re coming tomorrow.”

“Good. So you’re all set?”

“Yes.”

“Good, good.”

There was a pause.

“So…”

“Yes, Gabe?”

“…Have you seen him yet?”

Castiel felt his stomach flip, his throat suddenly going dry.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on, Cassie. Don’t play dumb. The omega you moved all the way across the country in hopes of seeing? The whole reason for this ridiculous move?”

“He’s not – I’m not –“

“What, you moved back to the same nowhere town you lived in five years ago because of the nightlife?”

“I wanted a change of pace, of scenery. I have good memories here.”

“Yeah. Good memories of _him_.”

Castiel didn’t know what to say. Gabriel wasn’t wrong. If he was completely honest with himself, a dark, quiet corner of his mind had whispered that by moving back here he might be able to see Dean again. And sure, maybe the thought had plagued him repeatedly in the aftermath of everything that had gone wrong between him and Meg, a million what-if’s keeping him awake at night. But in the light of day, with reality much harder to ignore, those fantasies vanished and he was faced with the fact that even though Dean still lived here, there was little chance he’d want anything to do with him.

“Are you sure you thought this through Cas? You know he might not want to see you.”

“Yes, Gabriel. I have thought about that. A lot.”

“Well…as long as you’re prepared. I don’t want you to get your hopes up and end up disappointed.”

“Believe me, Gabriel, I have no illusions that Dean will want to see me. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing. But I couldn’t stay in New York. Not with Meg, not with our parents –“

“Not with me.”

“…I had to get away, Gabe. You, more than anyone, should understand that.” The lone omega of the Novak clan, Gabriel had run off not more than two months after his first heat ended. He always said it was to escape whatever arranged mating their parents would come up with, but Castiel had always thought Gabe seemed unhappy with the rigid expectations of their family long before he presented.

“I do, Cas. I do.” 

They stood in companionable silence, Castiel glad to feel a little less alone. Still, his stomach was growling insistently, and eventually he would need sustenance.

“Gabe, I’ve got to go get food. I’ll text you an update when I’m finally settled in.”

“Text? What, can’t spend five minutes actually talking to little old me?”

“Goodbye, Gabriel.”

“Bye Cassie.”

Hanging up, the glow of company clung to him for a moment or two. But it only took a few glances around his very bare new home before Castiel was once more confronted by the silence of his townhouse. He briefly considered running out to get groceries, he had unpacked the kitchen after all. But the thought of running into a certain omega had him pulling up a takeout menu on his phone, another night in suddenly a much safer option.

Almost against his better judgment he placed an order at Bel Divino’s, only half surprised when the owner on the other end of the line recognized him. He fielded a few questions, explaining yes he was back for the foreseeable future before managing to get off the line. He was honestly a little touched Bartholomew remembered him after all this time, but then again it had been a favorite haunt of him and…

Shutting down that trail of thought quickly he headed to the barren living room, opening his laptop and trying to get some work done. He was pretty limited without wifi, but technically he was on time off anyway so it didn’t really matter. Before he knew it there was a knock on the door, and soon he was settled on the couch with his food, watching Netflix on his phone while he ate. His order was delicious as always, but of course there was something – someone – missing.

By the time he laid in bed that night on freshly laundered sheets, moonlight shining through his windows and illuminating the still foreign room, Castiel was willing to admit he was pining. Had been, really, for the past five years, but the stupidity of his actions only now seemed to burn with an even greater shame. Okay, so he didn’t deserve Dean. Perhaps he could still earn redemption – a chance at being a better man than before. After all, wasn’t that what life was all about? Personal growth?

Maybe he would start small. Start up running again. He used to love running, somehow never seeming to find the time as his job in New York took up more and more of his life. Yes, tomorrow morning he would go out for a run, get back into the groove of a healthier lifestyle.

And who knows - maybe he'll see a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so maybe a run wasn’t the best idea.

A jog, perhaps, would’ve been appropriate. A walk, even.

But this sweaty hell he’d forced himself into? Well, it was maybe a bit more than he was ready for.

Castiel was relieved when he didn’t run into Dean that first day, gasping for breath and sweat soaking through the old U Chicago t-shirt he’d donned. He was even more relieved when he didn’t see him the next day, getting a leg cramp and falling into Mrs. Johnson’s bushes. A week had gone by and he was finally starting to feel like he wasn’t going to die anymore, though it was woefully clear he’d let himself get out of shape. He missed the effortless rush running used to give him, the way it would clear his head. Looks like getting back to that place would take more work than he thought.

Still, Castiel was starting to feel impatient. He’d been around the town, completing errands in addition to all the running, yet he still hadn’t seen Dean.

In fact, he felt like he’d seen everyone _but_ Dean. The town was a sea of familiar faces, most of whom stopped to hear what he was doing back even though their welcome was less than warm. At first he thought the strained smiles and forced friendliness were because he smelled when he’d stopped to talk on his run. But then he’d gotten the same reactions at the drugstore, noticed others outright glaring at him on the street. He guessed people were mad about how he’d ended things with Dean. The omega was beloved in this town, he and his alpha brother Sam having grown up here.

The frostiness, combined with the emptiness of his new home, was starting to eat away at him. He craved the sight of a friendly face, of at least some sort of companionship. Gabriel on the phone occasionally could only help so much, and with Balthazar M.I.A. somewhere in Europe he really didn’t have many options. He thought of Samandriel, who he’d been close with when he lived here. Friends with, even. It couldn’t hurt to stop by the coffee place the omega used to work at, see if he was still around.

That evening Castiel found himself walking into the familiar shop, the warm smell of coffee beans instantly perking him up. It was mostly deserted due to the evening hour, only a few customers scattered about and no one behind the counter when he stepped in. But then the door had shut behind him and a small, pale omega strode out from the back room, eyes widening at the sight of him.

“Castiel! I’d heard you moved back here!”

“Yes, Samandriel, so I have. It’s good to see you again.” He offered him a warm smile, and while the omega returned it, Castiel couldn’t help noticing apprehension behind his eyes.

“Same here, Cas. How’ve you been?”

“Ah, well…I’ve been…good. You?”

“Me? I’ve been great! Got promoted a while ago to general manager. Ezekiel says he’s thinking of retiring soon and leaving the whole thing for me to run. Oh, and of course, Inias and I got mated two years ago.”

“Oh, congratulations! That’s wonderful.”

“Yeah,” he had a dopey smile on his face, “we’re thinking of starting a family soon.” He placed his hand on his stomach absent-mindedly, but after a few moments his smile faded.

“How’s your mate, uh, Meg?” Castiel grimaced at the question, but figured he might as get it out of the way now.

“Meg and I actually broke up.”

“Oh. I- that’s too bad.”

“Yeah. Well, after I found her in bed with another man it was pretty much the end of the line.”

“Oh, Castiel, I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, it’s – our relationship already had so many problems. It was doomed from the start.”

There was an awkward pause, Castiel looking down as the weight of his words sunk in. Samandriel seemed to be trying to hide his pity, and sensing he was failing, attempted to change the subject.

“So what brought you back here?”

“Oh, you know, a change of scenery. This was the only place that ever felt a lot like home, so…”

The knowing look he received only made him feel foolish.

“You know, Sam and Dean still live in town.”

Castiel paused, trying not to look too eager. This was the first time anyone was willing to share information on the two brothers; he didn't want to mess it up.

“Yeah? I thought Sam wanted to stay out in California?” He’d been studying at Stanford Law when Castiel had left, with big plans on starting a life out there with his then girlfriend, Jess.

“Oh you know, plans change.” Samandriel hedged uncomfortably, shifting on his feet. “The two of them live together back at their old place.”

“Oh…and um, what about…”

“Dean?”

Castiel nodded.

“He’s good. Still working at Bobby’s.”

“Wait, still? He never opened his own shop?” It had been Dean’s dream, starting his own business restoring classic cars. It was almost unheard of, an omega having their own place in an alpha dominated field like that. Still, watching him talk about it, the way his whole face lit up and determination settled behind his eyes, well, Castiel had been certain he'd succeed. In fact, the omega had just saved enough for a down payment on a venue when Castiel...well...

“Like I said, plans change.”

Though curiosity burned inside him, the alpha could sense Samandriel was uncomfortable with the topic and he didn’t want to keep prying.

“Well, I should get going. I’ve got some work I still need to wrap up tonight. But it was great seeing you again Samandriel. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah Cas, it was great seeing you too. You should come hang out with Inias and I sometime.”

“I’d like that. Congratulations again on the mating. Inias is very lucky.” He offered a smile before turning to leave, but Samandriel called out right as he reached the door.

“Castiel?”

He turned, one hand still on the handle.

“Yes?”

“You should talk to Dean.” The nervousness was back, but this time Samandriel looked him in the eye with a certainty that wasn’t there before. Castiel’s stomach flipped, a different type of worry now gripping him. Instead of questioning further though he simply nodded and left.

Walking back to his townhouse he mulled over their conversation, wondering what exactly happened to the Winchester brothers since he’d been gone. He briefly considered looking Dean up and giving him a call, or maybe dropping by his house and hoping not to have the door slammed in his face. But the thought of actually seeing him again – or rather, a darker part of his mind whispered, the inevitable, rightful rejection he’d receive – filled him with a sharp fear which spurred his journey home. How was he supposed to face the man he’d loved and left behind?

Eventually he’d work up his nerve, or fate would force him to face the omega. He couldn’t avoid the confrontation forever. Maybe Castiel would change his route the next morning, run by the old Winchester house.

Just as the thought occurred to him he tripped over his own shoelace, stumbling gracefully before grabbing onto a lamp post and narrowly avoiding tumbling to the ground.

Okay. Maybe he’d wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's in the next chapter, promise. As always, let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

Another week passed, and Castiel had returned to work at Sandover, the small Lawrence accounting firm he’d been at five years ago. When he’d first started there it was a stepping stone, the first job he’d gotten out of college and one he reluctantly took to get some experience – something that would get him access to bigger, better things. It was funny to him now, how he’d been reluctant to move to Kansas. How sure he was that he was meant for New York.

And yet, when he got his big break as a financial analyst he had hated every minute of it. He'd spent almost all of his time stressing at the office, going over numbers and dealing with irate clients. Now back in Lawrence, he was shocked to find himself leaving at 5:30 every day, to be going to sleep at a reasonable hour and waking up with enough energy to run before work. Even though it was a giant step backwards career-wise, he had to admit – he hadn’t felt this good in ages.

The running was slowly but surely getting less difficult, the looks he got as he passed fading away with people’s curiosity. Castiel had worked himself into a pleasant rhythm, had even begun planting his garden. So naturally it was when he least expected it that he finally ran into Dean.

He’d left his townhouse mid-Saturday morning, getting into his Prius and heading to the local grocery store. Rolling down the windows he'd admired the sunshine, the flowers just starting to bloom as spring emerged. He’d gone inside, picking over produce and cheerfully choosing what type of coffee bean he’d have that week. It wasn’t until he got to the dairy isle that he saw him, sifting through the gallons of milk. The sight of him had the alpha rooted to the spot.

He was just as gorgeous as Castiel remembered, dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt that clung to his frame. His jaw was as well-defined, his hair cropped short, his lips just as full. And his eyes. Those jade eyes that had spent the last five years haunting him. Those eyes framed by gorgeous lashes, blinking slowly as they turned to look at -

Oh shit. He’d seen him. Caught him gaping at him like a fish. Castiel's mind froze, knowing he should be saying something but drawing a complete blank. Embarrassment began to bloom inside him until he realized Dean seemed just as startled as he was. Their eyes met, locking into the other's gaze. Castiel drank in the sight of him, brain going hazy as he detected just a hint of that familiar, enticing scent. Leather and motor oil and...

The moment was interrupted by a throat clearing, Mrs. Visyak stepping between them to grab a carton of milk. They both jumped at the sound, Dean immediately pretending to leaf through his cart while Castiel shuffled awkwardly. She shot them a knowing look as she walked away, and with her gone Castiel braced himself.

_Well_ , he thought, _it's now or never_.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas.”

Just hearing him say the nickname had a strange feeling blossoming in Castiel's chest. The full extent of how much he missed the omega crashed over him suddenly, the other man's presence reminding him all that he'd been missing. He supposed that's what it was like with true mates. 

One moment in the other's presence and you were lost.

Dean looked down, rubbing the back of his neck the way he used to do when he was nervous. Castiel couldn't help find it endearing.

“So…I heard you moved back to town.”

“Yes, I…two weeks ago.”

“So New York wasn’t working out, huh?”

That was an understatement.

“No. No it wasn’t.”

“Huh.”

There was no surprise in his tone, if anything Castiel could hear him holding back a 'no shit,' which he couldn't blame him for. Leaving his cart he walked slowly over to Dean’s, stopping next to it to examine the soy milk varieties.

“Meg and I…broke up. Divorced, actually.”

“What a surprise.” And yeah, he deserved that sarcastic tone. The omega was watching him, eyes scrutinizing. Castiel found his expression unreadable, the hard set of his jaw the only indication of the ire below. Still, the man didn’t yell or lash out at him.

“What finally broke the camel’s back?”

“Probably the finding her in bed with another man.”

“Ah. Classic.”

“It would seem so, yes.”

The omega snorted, looking down with a muttered ‘unbelievable’ and throwing a light kick at his cart. Castiel could sense his frustration, at him, his return, the utter waste of time and pointlessness of what he put him through, well - Castiel couldn't be sure.

"How's the family, then?"

"Gabriel's doing well. Opened another restaurant in Berkeley."

"And the rest of them?"

Castiel forced himself to keep his voice even.

"I wouldn't know. They're no longer speaking to me."

Dean merely raised his brows at that.

"And now you're back here."

"Yes."

Regarding him silently, Dean narrowed his eyes in a scrutinizing gaze. Castiel swallowed.

"Well, you picked a hell of a time to come back. Garth started up a sock puppet theater at the library."

And of all the things Castiel thought Dean might say, that wasn't one of them. A shocked chuckle burst from his throat, the absurdity of it all catching him off guard. Leave it to Dean to deflect when things got too personal. Still, Castiel was relieved he hadn't asked why he came back. In a way, he supposed the omega already knew.

“You still drink that crap?” Castiel looked down at the soy milk in his hand, so engrossed in his thoughts he hadn't even realized he'd picked one up.

“Those are big words coming from someone with…” the alpha peered down into Dean’s cart, picking up a small square package sitting at the top “Nature's Delight extra firm tofu in their cart.”

Dean snorted, uncrossing his arms and leaning against the cart’s handle bar.

“It’s for Sam. Dude still eats like a hippie.” The mention of his brother had a frown crossing his face, the omega looking at his watch and suddenly straightening up. He pulled out a phone from his pocket, biting his lip as he started checking something. Castiel ignored the sudden urge to kiss him at the sight.

“I heard Sam moved back here.”

“Yeah, still at the old house." Castiel noticed the omega's brows furrow as he read.

“What happened to his California plans?”

A nervous look suddenly crossed the omega's face, Dean's eyes quickly darting up from the phone to meet Castiel's before flashing back down. He began typing furiously. 

“Oh, you know…things change…” he looked around the grocery store distractedly, almost like he was searching for something. Castiel suddenly felt like he was intruding, briefly wondering if Dean had come here with someone. Despite everything the thought had jealousy burning inside him; he shoved down the feeling, knowing he had no right to be possessive of Dean. Reluctantly he forced himself to give the man some space.

“Well, maybe I should get going. You seem preoccupied.”

That caught Dean’s attention, now suddenly directing his gaze back at the alpha.

“Cas, wait. We need to talk."

"We are talking."

The omega rolled his eyes.

"In private. Are you available tomorrow afternoon, say two o'clock?"

He nodded, worry clawing up his throat. This didn't sound good. "Where would you like to meet?"

"Can you come to my place? I can give you directions if you don't remember where it is."

"No, I remember."

"Good, good."

They stared at each other a moment, awkward silence encompassing them.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorro-"

His words were cut off, interrupted by a shrill cry of "daddy daddy daddy!" The omega froze at the sound but quickly recovered, bending down as a blur of brown hair ran straight into his arms. Castiel barely noticed the lanky alpha following behind, belatedly checking his phone and looking up at Castiel with wide eyes.

"Hey sweetheart," the omega murmured, straightening up as he pressed a kiss into the girl's hair. Castiel stared, dumbfounded.

Dean had a child.

The little girl wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning back in her fathers hold to look at his face.

"What's taking so long?" 

"Oh, daddy just ran into an old friend and lost track of time."

Piercing blue eyes peered over Dean's shoulder, taking in the alpha gazing at her dumbly. She spared him only a moment before turning back to the omega.

"You promised we could go look at the turtles today!"

"And we will sweetheart, but daddy still needs to finish grocery shopping."

"But you're taking forever." She pouted, crossing her arms. Castiel could see Dean trying not to smile.

"Hmm, tell you what. Why don't you and uncle Sam help daddy finish faster by picking out a box of cereal?"

The girl immediately smiled, clapping her hands together.

“Honey-Oh’s!”

“Honey-Oh’s? What, no Lucky Charms? What about Daddy’s favorite cereal?”

“Uncle Sam says you only eat the marshmallows.”

“Well, uncle Sam doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He’s a very silly man.”

The girl giggled, oblivious to the hostility leaking from 'uncle Sam' who was eyeing Castiel with distrust. The other alpha was slowly moving between him and the pair, but Castiel barely paid him mind. His eyes were glued to Dean and the girl in his arms. 

“Go on now. Go with uncle Sam to pick out a cereal." He set her down, the girl immediately running for the cereal isle.

"Sam!" Dean hissed, the alpha looking back in confusion. "Go help Mary pick out a box of cereal." The younger alpha glanced suspiciously at Castiel one last time before taking off after the child - Mary, Castiel's mind supplied - and without conscious thought Castiel found himself following.

"Cas-"

A minute ago Dean's voice would've stopped him in his tracks, but now the alpha ignored him. Stopping at the end of the cereal isle he watched as the girl studiously examined her options. Sam stood next to her, eyeing Castiel warily.

"Cas."

He continued to stare, unable to look away.

"She looks about four."

He heard the omega sigh next to him.

"Cas, please. Can we do this someplace else?"

The alpha blinked, watching the pup try to reach for a box too high up for her. "Someplace else?" 

"You can stop by the house tomorrow at two, okay? I'll answer all your questions then. Just, please, not here. Not now."

With Sam's help the child got her cereal box, pausing with it in hand as she noticed him. "Uncle Sam, why is that man staring at us?"

The other alpha shot him a glare, picking up the girl protectively. He was saying something to her, tone calm and reassuring though Castiel couldn't hear the words. The realization that he might scare her had a pang of guilt twinging in his stomach, clearing the fog in his mind. He turned to Dean.

"Tomorrow. Two o'clock."

With self control he didn't know he had he ripped himself away, abandoning his groceries and walking to his car in a zombie-like state. He got in the driver's seat, shutting the door and staring ahead dumbly.

Dean had a child.

A child with long brown hair and Dean's freckles.

A child who looked around four years old.

A child with Castiel's eyes.

 

Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy father's day?

Castiel didn’t know what to do with himself.

He'd tried distractions. Reading his books, catching up on work. Nothing seemed to hold his attention, even gardening not providing its usual respite. Instead his mind returned repeatedly to Dean and the girl he’d seen at the grocery store. _Mary_.

At a few points he found himself walking to his car, determined to drive over to the Winchester house and get answers. It was only the fact that Dean had already set up a time to meet that kept him at bay, sitting at home and running through the myriad of possibilities obsessively. As day slowly morphed into night he found himself too wound up to sleep, eventually placing two panicked phone calls to Gabriel and hanging up on the first ring each time. When his brother called him back he didn’t answer; instead he cleaned the townhouse from top to bottom, scrubbing every nook and cranny with an intensity he hadn’t felt - well, ever.

Eventually his body must have succumbed to exhaustion because he woke on the couch with a kink in his neck. At first panicked and looking for the time, he relaxed when he realized he still had a few hours. Knowing there was no way he could eat he took a hurried shower, followed by more pacing and laundry. By one forty five he was in his car and driving toward the house he knew so well, by two o' clock marching toward the door and giving four firm knocks. He only had to wait a few moments before Dean opened the door, face guarded as he stepped back to let Cas in.

The alpha walked swiftly into the living room, looking around for signs of anyone else.

“Sam is at work. Mary’s with Ellen.”

The name had Castiel tensing, the hours of speculation not preparing him for being here. He approached the omega, stopping a few feet away and scrutinizing him. Now that he looked a little closer, he could see the signs of parenthood on Dean – he was a bit softer, little laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. The whole place smelled of Dean and pup, a warm, sweet mix that felt unmistakably like home. Right now though the omega was rooted firmly to the spot, arms crossed and looking at Cas head on. He seemed to be waiting for the alpha to speak first, and Castiel wished he knew which of the thousand questions flitting through his mind were the right way to start this conversation. Ultimately he decided not to beat around the bush.

“Is she mine?”

Dean’s gaze didn’t flicker, his face totally unchanged. They stared each other down.

“Yes.”

Castiel wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel in that moment, the shock clouding everything else. Yes, he'd suspected, of course he'd suspected, but this was...

He had a kid.

He, Castiel Novak, was a father. 

Had been a father for years without knowing it.

A tidal wave of emotion poured over him, something akin to joy, anger, and anguish fighting for dominance. He was torn between sitting down or throwing something. But instead he opted to continue pacing, desperately trying to burn the confusion out of his body.

“When – how –“

“Take a minute, Cas. Breathe.”

The alpha continued his pacing, at least trying to take in gulps of air.

“How old is she?”

“Four and a half.”

“Four and a…” he did the math quickly, brow furrowing in consternation.

“Did you know?”

“Did I know what?”

“Did you know, when I…”

“When you left?”

He nodded.

“Yes.”

That had Castiel stopping, hands that were absently running through his hair suddenly pulling on it.

“You knew. You knew and you didn’t tell me?”

“That’s right.”

“How _could_ you?”

“How could I? I was pregnant with the child of my _true mate_ , who was deciding whether he wanted to stick around or mate someone else. What was I supposed to do?”

“You were supposed to tell me! I would’ve never – I never would’ve left you like that if I had known!“

“Exactly. You would’ve stuck around. And what if you had wanted to choose her? What if things got rough? After your family cut you out, and you lost out on all your plans for your future. You'd grow to resent the both of us. I didn’t want that life for our kid, Cas. You know how things were for me growing up.”

“I am not your father, Dean.”

“No, you’re not. But I needed to know if you were staying because you wanted to, or out of obligation.”

“Obli- Dean, I made it exceedingly clear you were the one I wanted to be with! Everything with Meg was obligation! I never cared for her, not like I cared for you!”

“And yet you still mated her. How’d that turn out, by the way?”

“Like shit! Like any arranged mating to please your parents! You knew that!”

“And that was your choice! You chose to leave, Cas!”

“And for that I didn’t deserve to know my daughter?”

For the first time Dean looked defensive.

“I never meant to keep her from you. I was going to tell you, after you made your choice. I figured if you stayed, great news! And if you chose Meg, we’d work out custody. But I never got the chance. Because _somebody_ , rather than face me like a man and dump me to my face, left while I was at work, leaving nothing but a note. A _note_. I mean, I could expect a note from a one night stand, or even a couple of dates. But from my true mate, after _a year and half_ together? What the actual _fuck_ Cas?”

The flame beneath his anger was quickly dwindling, guilt raising in his throat like a snake. It had been the lowest moment of his life, leaving that note. He'd heard about what happened to a rejected true mate before, the physical and psychological symptoms. Thinking of Dean in that kind of pain, especially knowing his history, well…he knew he couldn't have actually left if he'd faced him. So he'd chosen a different way to break the news, the most cowardly way possible. The thought still filled him with shame. 

“What do you want me to say, Dean? That I couldn’t do it? Wasn’t strong enough to see just how much I hurt you? I was faced with an impossible choice – staying with the man I loved, or losing my family, my goals for the future, everything I’d worked my whole life for – there was no right answer!”

“Oh there was a right answer, Cas. There was a right answer every step of the way, and it wasn’t letting your parents control your life, and it wasn’t choosing money and status over our happiness. We could’ve made it work. We would’ve made it work. And you chose to throw it all away. That was all you. I was there. Even after their ultimatum, even after you didn’t immediately say no – I stood by you while you waffled back and forth, considering casting me aside, for _two_ _months_.”

Desperation was crawling inside of him, guilt gnawing away as he tried to grapple with the situation.

“You could’ve contacted me. After I left, you’d met my parents, my brothers – you could’ve contacted someone who knew where I was.”

Dean’s anger was suddenly quiet, steady, as he stared him down.

“I was the one who was left alone, and pregnant, and going through rejection. You left the mess completely to me, and I had to pick up the pieces. So you don’t get to be angry I didn’t track you down while I was bent over the toilet puking my guts out, terrified the convulsions were a miscarriage.”

And the idea of Dean losing his mate and pup all at once, of the fear and pain he must have gone through, extinguished all the anger Cas had tried to hold onto. The urge to step forward, pull Dean into his arms and tell him everything would be okay, that he'd never leave him again, pulled at the alpha. But he knew that's not what the omega wanted, not after everything. Suddenly exhausted, their conversation and his lack of sleep hitting him all at once, Castiel slid to the floor with his back against the wall. Distantly he heard Dean sigh before stepping closer and settling down next to him.

They both sat in silence, Castiel picking up a toy rabbit and staring at it as if it held all the answers in the universe.

“I left you alone.”

“Hmm?” Dean had clearly been lost in his own thoughts, not paying attention to the alpha next to him.

“I left you alone, and pregnant. I abandoned the mother of my child.”

“Come on Cas, it wasn’t like that.”

It certainly explained the dirty he looks he got around town. There was so much stigma attached to an alpha leaving their true mate in the first place, but a pregnant true mate? That was unheard of. Unthinkable. He was the worst excuse for an alpha out there.

“Look Cas, I didn’t ask you here today to bust your balls. Whatever happened between us, you’re still her father. If you want a relationship with her, I’m not gonna stand in your way. But this, parenthood? It’s not something you can just blow off, man. Once you’re in a kids life, you gotta be committed for the long haul. Is that something you’re ready for?”

The word yes was ready to burst from his lips, but everything that had happened between them whirled through his head in a confusing flurry. He’d hurt Dean, so much – how could he know he wouldn't do the same to his daughter?

The omega, who had been watching him expectantly, pursed his lips, seeming to resign himself.

“Look, you don’t have to give an answer right now. Think about it. And if it’s too much, that’s okay. I’ve got it covered. You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to.”

And the way that Dean recited his speech, as if he’d expected to have to give it, flipped a switch inside the alpha. He didn’t come back to disappoint the omega again. He came back for a new start, to redeem himself, to at least be near the closest thing that felt like home. He'd be the best damn father he could be for his daughter. He'd make up for the lost time.

“I want to.” At the omega’s doubtful expression, he soldiered on before the man could say anything else. “I want to, Dean, I want to be there, I want to be there for her, for everything. I won’t let you down again, won’t let either of you down. I’ll do it right this time. Please, let me try to make it right.”

“Woah there Cas, calm down. I already told you, you can be in her life.”

“What can I do?”

“Huh?”

“What does she need? What do you both need? Clothes? School tuition? The roof looks like it might need repair.”

“Cas –“

“The gutters could use cleaning. I mean, if there’s a fire…”

“Cas.”

“You should also have a home security system. I’ll do some research and have someone out tomorrow-”

“Cas!”

The alpha stopped, the need to provide, protect, having overwhelmed him for a moment. He felt a bit sheepish at the look Dean gave him.

“We don’t need anything. I’ve got it all taken care of.”

“I’d like to help.”

“If I ever need any help, I’ll let you know.”

Castiel wanted to argue, to insist on being a part of things, but his head wasn't so far up his ass that he thought he had a right to push. Dean had done this on his own, had grown a life with his daughter without the alpha. Cas would need to earn a place in their lives.

“So what now?”

Dean sighed.

“Well, I'll introduce you to her. Maybe have a test run, next weekend at the park.”

“Next weekend?”

“Yeah. I mean, you work during the week, and it will give us both time to prepare and for you to think things over…”

“I don’t need to think things over.”

“Yeah, Cas, you do. Do you know the first thing about kids?”

No, no he really didn’t. His own childhood had been strictly regimented with little time for childish things, and Meg had hated children, never wanting to be around them. He frowned.

“Right. Take some time. Maybe do some research – I know you like research.”

Dean stood up while the alpha bit his lip, nodding his head uncertainly. It all seemed like it was happening so fast, and ending so quickly.

“Sam is gonna be back soon. You…probably don’t want to be here when he arrives.”

Castiel blinked, the knowledge that Sam was less than happy with him unsurprising. They'd have to talk eventually if he was going to be in Mary's life, but for now he would defer to Dean. He stood,  following the omega back to the door on shaky legs. Dean held it open for him, watching as Castiel stepped through.

“Oh, and Cas?”

The alpha paused, turning back around.

“Yes?”

“Mary is my kid. I call the shots here. You visit when I say you can visit, you run plans by me – no unexpected drop-bys, no showering her with gifts. Capisce?”

And while his inner alpha wanted to insist on being near them as much as possible, on providing anything they could want, well - he owed it to Dean to follow his lead. Not to mention the man had much more parenting experience than he did.

“I capisce.” The omega rolled his eyes, something Cas might've mistaken for fondness behind the gesture.

"Good. Here's my number. Text me so I'll have yours. I'll let you know about this weekend."

The alpha took the number, not having time to respond before Dean shut the door in his face. He was still mad at the omega for not telling him, just as he was mad at his family, and Meg, and most of all, himself. But through everything else he was feeling one thought shone through:

He was a father.

He had a pup.

 _Mary_.

And if he had a look of wonder on his face the whole way home, well, who could blame him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long week. Hope you enjoy.

_Castiel nuzzled closer to the omega, breathing in his scent. Dean always smelled amazing, something like leather and cinnamon; the alpha wanted to spend the next week wrapped up in bed scenting him, rubbing up against him until he smelled like the omega._

_“Cas, quit it, that tickles.”_

_He breathed deeper, burying his nose further into the other man’s neck._

_“What? This?”_

_“Cas!” the omega chuckled, trying to push him away while the alpha held onto him tighter. They playfully struggled like that for a bit, arms and limbs tangled together until the next thing Castiel knew they were kissing again. He loved these moments, when they were wrapped up in their post-orgasmic bliss, skin to skin and lazily exploring each other. He’d never imagined he would find anything this amazing in Kansas of all places, but he supposed it was fate. After all, Dean was his true mate._

_They eventually broke apart, settling together and staring lazily at the ceiling. Castiel couldn’t help shooting sidelong glances at the omega though. Something about his skin in the moonlight mesmerized him._

_“What are you thinking about?”_

_The alpha paused, tracing the freckles on Dean’s skin. He didn't want to say something corny and ruin the moment, but..._

_"How I just can't get enough of you."_

_The omega groaned, light flush travelling up his neck. Even in the darkness Castiel thought it looked lovely._

_"Stop it, you big sap."_

_"I can't. You're completely irresistible." He punctuated the statement by holding him tighter, placing a kiss along his jaw. Dean didn't really put up a fight this time, instead letting the alpha hold him with an air of sheepishness and exasperation._

_"Looks like someone's a bit scent-drunk."_

_"Mmm, scent-drunk? You know it's so much more than that, right? You are far greater than your--admittedly delightful--scent."_

_He could see Dean roll his eyes, see the small pleasure he took at the praise at war with the undercurrent of tension in his shoulders. It pained Castiel to see how even now the omega was uncomfortable with affection. The alpha wished he could track down John Winchester and give him a piece of his mind before he made Dean feel so undeserving of praise. But John was gone, and it was him and Dean who would be starting their own futures. Who would be better, do better, than either of their parents did._

_“How many pups do you want?”_

_“What?”_

_“Pups. You know, not right now or anything, but down the road…” He watched as the omega shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact as he moved to fluff a pillow._

_“Uh, I haven’t really thought about it, Cas.”_

_“You haven’t thought about it?”_

_The omega pulled his old plaid comforter tighter around him, shifting as he angled himself to look out the window. Castiel waited, knowing Dean sometimes just needed some time._

_“I don’t really think I’m cut out to be a father.”_

_“Dean –“_

_"Just - let me finish, okay?"_

_The alpha pursed his lips, reluctantly nodding. "Okay." At least Dean relaxed a bit at that, letting out a sigh as he mulled over his thoughts._

_“I didn't exactly have the best childhood Cas. It left me pretty messed up. I know you haven't really had the chance to see that yet, since we've only really been dating for six months. But it's there, and I wouldn't want to put that kind of baggage on a kid, you know?" He stopped, looking at the picture of him and his brother on his nightstand. "And I mean, I've spent most of my life taking care of Sam. I never really had time to be a kid myself. Hell, I'm only just now getting a break from raising him. I just…don’t know if that’s something I’ll want. At least not anytime soon.”_

_Something between disappointment and distress settled in the alpha's stomach. Part of him wanted to soothe the omega, another part wanted to press the issue. It would be one thing if Dean just wanted to wait, but not sure about kids ever…Castiel had always imagined himself settling down, starting a family. And his parents certainly wanted heirs._

_“Is – is that okay?” Hearing the insecurity in the omega's voice broke him from his thoughts, instincts making him cast aside his concerns and pull Dean in tighter._

_“Of course, Dean. Take all the time you need. We’ll talk about it when you’re ready.” He placed a kiss on the omega’s shoulder. “Though for what it’s worth, I think you’d make an amazing father.”_

* * *

Castiel woke with a start, the sound of buzzing pulling him from his slumber. Tiredly he grabbed his phone, looking at the time before the caller I.D. It was only eleven, and from the kink in his neck and the books scattered around his lap it looked like he'd dozed off while reading his parenting guides. That simply wouldn't do. It was already Thursday, and he only had so much time before Saturday came and he'd be meeting his daughter at the park. True to his word Dean had texted and set up a time, telling him to bring bread because Mary liked feeding the turtles at the pond. He'd stopped at the store that very same day to pick some up. Yet there was so much more still to do, to learn in preparation.

It didn't help that he'd been having the same dream night after night since his conversation with Dean. Every way he thought about it, it seemed Castiel had ruined the omega's plans by selfishly pursuing his own. He wondered whether Dean was happy, or at least satisfied with his life. He certainly seemed it at the grocery store, but...

The phone stopped ringing, and while Castiel never did check who was calling he already knew it could only be his brother. He’d have to call Gabriel back soon, having put it off long enough that the other man must be worried about him. Still, the thought of talking to him seemed impossible. Just then the phone began ringing again, a text coming in at the same time. He checked the text.

_I’m gonna keep calling til you answer._

The call stopped, only a moment passing before Castiel received another text.

_Don’t make me fly out to Kansas to see if you’re alright._

And that had guilt panging in his chest, not wanting to be such a burden. Hadn't he promised himself he was going to do better, take responsibility for himself this time around? Wasn't avoiding his brother's calls just him running away from his problems again? Despite the exhaustion that tugged at the edge of his vision, he steeled himself and picked up the phone, gathering what little courage he had left. When it began ringing again, he answered.

“Hello Gabriel.”

“'Hello Gabriel'? Really? That’s what you open up with? You call me and hang up three times, then refuse to answer your phone for almost a week? I was worried sick! What do you mean 'hello Gabriel'?”

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Apologies. How are you?”

“How are – Castiel, what the hell is going on?”

“Well...”

“I’m waiting.”

He sat up, grasping one of the parenting books he'd been perusing as if it might give him strength or knowledge of what to say. Of course, it was still just a white hardcover with building blocks on it, and Castiel was still just an exhausted alpha with back pain. Putting down the book, he leaned back on the head board. 

“So I found out I’m a father.”

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“Oh shit, Cas – is Meg keeping it?”

“What? No, not with Meg.”

“Uh, Cas? You’ve been divorced only two months, who else have you already knocked up?”

“Gabriel, it’s Dean’s.”

“Dean’s? You slept with Dean? He let you come anywhere near him?”

“No – I – Dean had a child. Four and a half years ago. I’m the father.”

Silence again. Castiel waited with bated breath, not realizing until that moment just how much he needed to hear his brother's response. He didn't have anyone else he could really talk to about this, not anymore, and despite his best efforts he wasn't any closer to working out his own thoughts on the matter.

“Shit.”

“Yes.”

“Cassie I – how are you handling this?”

“Poorly.”

“Yeah. Well, I’d be surprised if you were handling it well. So what happened?”

Sensing this would be a long discussion Castiel dragged himself out of bed, hastily putting on a robe before heading down to the kitchen. He could use a nice cup of tea, maybe chamomile - something to help him relax.

“He was pregnant when I left. Didn’t tell me. I ran into him at the grocery store, we were talking, suddenly a pup runs up to him. Brown hair and big blue eyes, freckles too...We talked Sunday. He confirmed she was mine.”

By the time he made it down to the kitchen, he wished he'd stopped and put on his slippers. While he loved the hard wood floors, they got chilly at night.

“Was he even going to tell you?”

The alpha thought back to their encounter at the grocery store as he opened his cabinet, searching for the tea he wanted.

“I think so. He said he wanted to set up a time to talk before Mary – that’s her name, Mary – ran up to him.”

Gabriel whistled on the other end of the phone, letting it fill the silence. Castiel busied himself with his tea, nuking the water in the microwave and adding a tea bag when he deemed it hot enough. It was only while it was steeping that he broke the silence.

“You’re unusually quiet.”

“It’s a lot to take in.”

“That’s true. I really don’t know how to feel myself.”

“How about angry, for starters?”

Castiel leaned against the counter, letting the warmth of his mug seep from his hands to the rest of his body.

“Yeah. There’s that.”

“So are you getting a lawyer?”

“What? Why?”

“Uh, custody? I mean, I just figured you’d want to be in the kids life.”

“I do! And I am going to be in her life. I’ve already set it up with Dean to meet her this weekend.”

“That’s it?”

“I…yes, that’s it. He said it would be like a trial run. To let us get to know one another.”

Feeling the slow crawl of anxiety rising in his stomach, Castiel decided it was time to relocate. He left the kitchen and headed back towards the stairs, blowing on his tea in the process.

“Okay, that’s all good, but what is the relationship going to look like? What about custody and visitation?”

“I don’t know. Dean will retain primary custody, I'll get to know my daughter.”

“And is that what you want?”

“Yes...” He walked back into his room, placing his tea on the nightstand. He wished Gabriel would just be plain with him; he didn't like these guessing games.

“Cas, this man already hid your kid from you once. Do you really want to leave it to him whether or not you get to see her?”

“Gabriel, you know it wasn’t like that.”

“You just said he knew and never told you.”

“Yes, but I’m not exactly innocent in this either. Look, I just…I want to get to know my daughter. I don’t want lawyers and custody battles, or to rip her away from the only parent she's ever known. Not to mention what that would do to Dean."

“Cassie…”

“I mean it Gabriel. Dean is her parent too, and we’re going to have to get along to make this work. I just…I just need time to process, to think.”

“Okay. But if you change your mind, I can give you the number of a great lawyer.”

“Uh huh.”

Suddenly tired again, Castiel crawled under his navy blue comforter and pulled it tightly over him. He briefly considered moving his parenting books to the nightstand as well, but ultimately just nestled further under the covers.

“So you’re going to see her Sunday?”

“Yes. At the park. Dean said she likes to feed the turtles.”

“How will you even…”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything about her, or kids in general. I stopped by the library and picked up some parenting books. At least they've been keeping me occupied…”

Castiel felt his eyes drooping as the enormity of the situation settled upon them.

“I guess that makes me an uncle then, huh.”

“You were already an uncle, Gabriel.”

“Michael is no brother to me.”

And yes, Castiel understood that, especially after everything that had gone down. Still, the thought of his other sibling had worry springing in his chest, causing him to suddenly sit back up.

“Gabe, please don’t mention this to anyone else in the family.”

He heard his brother scoff on the other end of the line.

“Like I would go running to tell mom and dad about their newest grandchild? Please. Don’t worry, Cassie. Your secret’s safe with me.”

And that had Castiel's heart rate returning to normal, the burst of adrenaline leaving as soon as it'd arrived.

“You sound beat. I should let you get some rest. But I’ll call again before the weekend, okay? And if you want to talk before then, I’m available 24/7. I mean it. Don’t hesitate to call.”

“Alright Gabriel. Good night.”

“Night.”

Castiel put down his phone, looking around his room in the darkness. The blue walls seemed to move in the dark, shadows dancing along them as moonlight so similar to his dream draped across his bed. Oh, how different things could have been...

He thought about the Winchester household across town, what Dean and Mary were up to. Would they still be awake? It was probably past a child’s bedtime, wasn’t it? Curiosity burned inside him. He wanted to know everything. He supposed he would, with time. Still, a thought was niggling the back of his mind.

Before chickening out he grabbed his phone again, quickly opening it and drafting a text.

_Could I have a picture of her?_

He sent it before he could change his mind, worrying his lip as he waited in suspense. It only took another two minutes of holding his phone and staring at the screen before the response came, nothing but an image file. Castiel stared at it, waiting impatiently as it loaded. Eventually he could see what looked like a fairly recent picture, the little girl wrapped up in the arms of someone who’s head was out of the picture. Taking a good long look, Castiel now noticed a missing tooth and red-ish highlights in the sun. It amazed him how he could see pieces of Dean and himself in her, the most shocking part of it all her blue, blue eyes.

He fell asleep memorizing her features, getting to know his daughter the only way he could for the moment. Anxiety still nestled in his stomach at the thought of their meeting on Saturday, at all the things he had left to do before then. But all of that faded away as he took her in. Despite it all, the future didn't seem so scary when he looked at her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! More exciting things happening next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to all those following along for the late chapter - I had people staying at my place last weekend and didn't have time to write. Hopefully you enjoy!

It was 9:55 am on Saturday morning when the enormity of what Castiel was about to experience really hit him. He’d gone about his usual routine, adding a few last-minute searches in his parenting books and triple checking to make sure he had bread. He’d then left early, followed GPS directions seamlessly, and ended up sitting in his car and staring at the small hill that led to the park. The silence after the engine cut off was more jarring than he'd expected.

Sitting in the driver's seat, his hands were glued to the steering wheel as he stared straight ahead. It was sunny with a light breeze, a few stray clouds littering the sky. Perfect conditions for a day at the park, really. But he couldn’t move. The clock ticked closer to ten, the frantic fluttering of his heart the only thing he could hear in the quiet car. With an amount of willpower he didn't know he possessed, he reached for his phone, dialing a familiar number before he could reconsider.

“Hello?”

“Dean.”

There was a pause, the omega seeming to sense something in his voice.

“What’s up, Cas?” He sounded cautious, clearly already suspecting the worst. Castiel wanted to prove him wrong, but his current immobile state was getting in the way of that.

“WhatifImessthisup?”

“Huh?”

“What if…I mess this up. What if she hates me?” There was a pause, and Castiel heard some shuffling in the background before Dean came back on the line.

“Where are you?”

“Parking lot near Hillcrest road.”

“Wait there.”

The line went dead, Castiel left confused as he sat in the car. At least he didn’t have to move.

Only a few minutes passed before the passenger door was suddenly yanked open, Dean getting in the car before Castiel's mind could catch up to what was happening.

“Okay. What’s going on?”

“I…” Cas glanced at the omega, surprised he'd come. “She won't like me.”

“How could you possibly know? You haven’t even tried meeting her yet.”

“How could she like me? Everything about me is boring. I know nothing about kids. She's grown up with you, and you've always been better with people. Not to mention I abandoned you. I abandoned you when you were pregnant. Both of you. I can’t –“

“Cas. Stop.” The omega rolled up his shirt sleeve, suddenly shoving out his arm in front of the alpha’s nose. Castiel blinked before taking in a deep breathe, scenting the other man’s wrist. Dean was clearly emanating calm, the scent of pup still lingering on him also mingling in. The smell instantly soothed his inner alpha, the indication of safe, content mate and pup slowing down the panic that gripped him. He took a few more whiffs, letting his heart slow.

“Thank you.”

Dean immediately dropped his arm, rolling down his sleeve again.

“Now. I’m gonna give this a pass because I know you’re nervous and you haven’t had a lot of time around kids. But it stops now. Once you meet her, you’re a parent. You don’t get to run away, or be the one freaking out. This is your last chance to back out Cas. So tell me: in or out?”

There was a tiny part of Castiel that thought it might be nice - to walk away, to carry on with life like before. But even still he knew he’d never be able to stay away; that once he knew about his daughter, he’d never stop thinking about her or wondering. In the end it wasn’t a choice, not really.

“I’m in.”

“Okay. Are you calm? Do you need another minute?”

“No. I’m good.”

“Uh huh. Well, let’s go.”

The omega exited the car, watching with his arms crossed as Castiel got out and grabbed the bread. Dean gestured with his head before starting to walk up the hill, the alpha following behind. It was almost surreal when they made it to the top, the playground suddenly coming into view with a myriad of children running around playing. It amazed Castiel how his eyes immediately focused on the child in question, _his_ child, over on the far end of the playground. Apparently Dean had brought Sam with him, because the alpha was pushing the girl on a swing. Though Mary was laughing in delight, Sam zeroed in on them at once with a frown.

“He wanted to come along, make sure you didn’t try anything. So you know, don’t. Here, sit there and wait.” Castiel could only nod dumbly as the omega continued to walk towards the pair, giving a nod to Sam who stopped the swinging. Though Mary seemed disappointed, she easily went along when Dean lifted her up and moved her to the side of the playground to speak with her. Sam on the other hand left them alone, choosing instead to walk towards Castiel. The other alpha couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated. Sam was one of the tallest men he’d ever seen. Even more so when he stood towering over him.

“Hello Castiel.”

“Uh…hi Sam.”

“Just wanted to let you know, you and me? We’re gonna have a nice long chat real soon.”

Castiel gulped, not really sure how to respond.

“Uh…”

“As for today? Don’t try anything.” He patted him on the shoulder a little too hard, staring at him long past the point of comfort until Dean cleared his throat behind him. The omega gave them both an unimpressed look, the little girl in his arms watching the two alphas with part curiosity, part suspicion. Castiel wished he could've made a slightly better first impression, but he supposed he deserved this. Standing up, he tried not to fidget under the child's scrutiny.

“Mary, this is Cas, the man I was telling you about. Cas, Mary.” The alpha gave a small wave, but the girl just tilted her head in return. “Why don’t you two head over to the pond. Uncle Sam and I will be right over here by this bench if you need us, okay sweetheart?” he put her down on the ground next to Cas, slightly strained smile on his face.

“Why won’t you come too?” She didn’t seem upset, more curious than anything, but Castiel still felt a jolt of pain in his chest. Of course she wanted to spend time with the father she knew.

“Like I told you sweetheart,” Dean knelt down, adjusting the girl’s clothes as he spoke. “This is time for you to get to know your alpha daddy. Now come on. He’s really excited to see the turtles. Why don’t you show them to him?” And while the girl still looked a little doubtful, bringing up the turtles was apparently the right thing to say because she was suddenly nodding.

“Alright. Come on.” Without waiting she began to head toward the pond, and Castiel had only a moment to shoot Dean one last helpless look before following. He noted a worried frown on the man’s face, and for the first time he considered how nerve wracking this must be for Dean too. He tried to give a reassuring smile this time before turning back.

It was a short walk to the pond, the playground still in view but the noise level noticeably less. A young couple and an old man fishing where also standing about, but neither paid the new pair much attention. Castiel was glad for at least the illusion of privacy.

“The turtles like to gather over here.”

Mary walked over to a small dock, standing on the edge and looking down into the water. Castiel followed, stopping next to her. He couldn’t see anything in the depths, their reflections the only thing staring back.

“Do you have bread?”

“Yes, I – here. Right here.” Castiel stumbled to show her the loaf he’d brought, not wanting to mess things up so quickly. The girl didn’t comment on it though, instead holding out a hand expectantly. Castiel belatedly opened the bag, taking out a slice and handing it to her.

She began to break off pieces and throw them in the water, soon enough little black heads popping up to grab at them. Letting the silence stretch between them, Castiel eventually pulled out some bread for himself and began throwing it in as well.

“So…what has Dean told you about me?”

“Daddy said you’re my alpha daddy.”

“Okay…did he tell you anything else?”

“He said that you were in New York but you’re back now.”

“Uh…okay…”

It wasn't a lot of information, and he figured he should be grateful that Dean left a pretty much blank slate for them to get to know each other. Still, Castiel wondered what he was supposed to do. Should he be trying to engage in a conversation? Should he give her space and let her take the lead? Unfortunately his parenting books didn’t prepare him for this exact situation.

“Do you have any pets?”

Jolted out of his thoughts, Castiel had to think about what he'd been asked. “Huh?”

“Daddy won’t let me get a pet 'cause he’s 'lergic. But I thought since I have two daddies, you might have one.”

“Uh, no, I’m afraid I don’t. Sorry.”

The girl pouted, looking put out by that information. She sat down, letting her legs dangle over the edge of the dock. A voice in the back of Castiel's brain immediately chanted ‘protect,’ wanting to grab her and lead her away from even the mildest of dangers. But he knew Dean was watching and would come over if there was really a problem. So instead he sat down with her, skimming the top of the water with his loafers.

“Uncle Sam and I want a dog. But I’d also be okay with a bunny. Do you like bunnies?”

“Yes, I do. My sister Anna used to have a rabbit. She named it snowball.”

The girl wrinkled her nose. “That’s a stupid name.”

Castiel nodded solemnly. “I thought so too.” Mary looked at him and giggled, and for just a moment the awkwardness of the situation fell away. Soon though they were back to uncomfortable silence

“Daddy and I named the turtles. That one there, he’s called Bobby, and the baby and mama turtle are called Ellen and Jo.”

Castiel nodded, realizing they must’ve named them after Dean’s friends. Well, more like family. Bobby was like a father to the omega, had taken him and his brother in when their actual father was off on his drinking binges. Dean had even worked in Bobby's auto shop, still did according to Samandriel. And Ellen and Jo were like his mother and sister, both working at the Road House the last he'd seen them. He thought about stopping by sometime, but the thought quickly vanished when he imagined the beating Ellen would give to him.

“Those are respectable names for turtles.” The girl smiled in response, nodding as she pointed out a few more. “…and see that one there? The big white one?” Castiel followed her pointing, noting the snapping turtle emerging from the depths. “We named that one Sam.” It was followed by another giggle. Castiel could picture Dean devilishly suggesting it to his daughter, laughing at the thought of Sam’s face when he found out. It managed to make him smile, which the girl seemed to notice. She reached into the bag of bread, pulling out another piece and handing it to him. Castiel accepted, this time smiling for a different reason.

They sat like that at the end of the doc for a while, Mary sporadically talking about random things as children do. Castiel was pleased to learn her favorite color was blue, she liked t-ball, and she wanted to be a veterinarian when she grew up. He started to wonder why he'd felt so nervous. Sure, they had a long way to go, but Mary was only four – to her he was just another person she happened to meet. They would continue to hang out and slowly their bond would build. The thought had warmth spreading through his stomach; for the first time, a relationship with his daughter felt truly attainable.

“So if you’re my other daddy, are you gonna live with us?”

Castiel almost choked on air, not prepared for that question.

“Um…no. No, I have my own place.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because…you and Dean and Sam have your own lives. Mine is separate.”

The girl looked at him, head tilted to the side in confusion.

“But you and daddy are mated, aren’t you?”

That had Castiel’s eyes going wide.

“Did Dean – did Dean tell you that?”

This time the girl’s eyes squinted as well, clearly catching on to Castiel’s discomfort.

“No. Kristie said two people have to be mated to have a pup.”

And wasn’t this all creeping towards territory Castiel was definitely not prepared to talk about today.

“Uh…Kristie is wrong.” The girl stared at him a few more moments before turning away, throwing the last of her bread in the water.

“Who is Kristie anyway?”

“My neighbor. So I’ve got two different daddies in two different houses?”

“…Yes.”

“Okay.” Just as she said it Castiel heard footsteps coming up from behind, and turning around he found Dean approaching with Sam in tow.

“Alright sweetheart, we’ve got to get going. Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah. He’s weird but he likes bunnies.” Sam let out a snort while Dean clearly tried to hide a smile. Castiel wasn't perturbed though - he'd consider that a win.

“Well you’re not wrong. Come on, go follow uncle Sam to the car. I’m gonna talk with Cas for a second.” The little girl got up, waving goodbye this time before running towards Sam. Castiel already missed her.

“So…how did it go?”

“Good. Better than I expected.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He gave another small smile, relieved to find he meant it. “When can I see her again?”

“Are you up for next weekend?” Cas frowned. He didn’t want to push, but next weekend already seemed so far away.

“That long?”

“Well we both have work, and she has a birthday party tomorrow, so…”

“Could I come to that?”

“Uh…well she’d be playing with the other kids, not to mention…”

“What?”

“Well, maybe you don’t want to be around all those parents yet. They talk.”

Oh. Castiel had almost forgot in the midst of everything that he had earned a reputation in this town. It would undoubtedly be cause for gossip if he showed up uninvited at some birthday party, and thinking of Mary or Dean having to listen to it…

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Next weekend is fine.”

“Yeah. Baby steps. I’ll text you about it again, okay?”

“Sure, just – can I ask, are you still working for Bobby?” Dean blinked, clearly not expecting the question.

“Yeah, why?”

“I just…when I left, you had just saved enough to start your own shop…” A frown crept over the omega's face, guarded expression taking hold.

“Yeah, and kids are expensive.”

“So that _is_ why.”

“What do you want me to say, Cas? Hell, why are we even talking about this?"

"That shop was your dream."

"Yeah? Well things change. Plans change.”

The omega shoved his hands into his pockets, looking around with an aggravated expression. Castiel knew he was pushing, but this was too important to just drop.

“I can help.”

“Help?”

“I have money saved, from New York. Enough to get you started with your shop. Consider it paying you back, for the expenses with Mary I never helped out with."

“Alright, stop right there. I told you, we don’t need your money.”

“It’s not a matter of need. You can't be happy, not after losing the chance to start the venture you spent years preparing for.”

“You know what, Cas? The thing about dumping someone? Their life is no longer any of your god damn business."

Castiel froze at the snarl in the omega's voice, realizing he'd stepped too far. Dean took a deep breathe, willing himself calmer before speaking again.

"Now I understand we have to talk somewhat for Mary’s sake, but let me make this clear – we only talk about things concerning her. My personal life is none of your business, and vice versa – got it?”

And while the alpha inside of Castiel hurt at the rejection, he nodded curtly; he knew he was lucky Dean allowed this much.

“Good. See you next weekend.” The omega turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Cas standing alone on the dock. Much to his chagrin he noticed the stares of the few people nearby, suddenly interested in the conversation. It would probably be spread halfway across town within the hour. Sighing, he began the trek back to his car, thinking about today - one step forward with Mary, two steps back with Dean. He’d have to give Gabriel another call and talk things over, maybe even stop and chat with Samandriel again. He'd need something to keep him occupied between now and next weekend, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really not happy with this chapter but I said I would try to update once a week and I don't think I'll be happy with it anytime soon, so I'm just putting it out there. Hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Things were looking up for Castiel as the weeks passed, getting to see Mary on the weekends and spending the rest of his time between home and Sandover. He’d gotten into a good routine, starting his mornings with a four mile run before showering and heading to work. By the time he got home he would tend to his garden, finishing his evening on the couch with a good book or documentary. It was structured and peaceful, nothing like the tumultuous nights of shouting he'd experienced with Meg. He felt more balanced than he had in ages.

Things had been going well with Mary too. For their second meet-up Dean arranged for them to play mini-golf, and the girl had giggled the entire time as Castiel repeatedly missed the hole. Each week after had gone smoothly, to the point where Dean had suggested Castiel plan a day with her this weekend – “maybe something at your place,” he’d said. Castiel had immediately gone to his parenting books, researching how to child proof his townhouse before heading out to buy the necessary materials. By Tuesday he was already done, and had moved on to making lists of possible activities. Dean had said to let him know what they'd be doing by Thursday, and Castiel was having a hard time narrowing down the options. He wanted things to go perfectly.

After all, he could see Dean was nervous about not being there to supervise from afar. Whether it had to do with being away from Mary or something with Castiel himself the alpha wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter though. Dean was giving him a chance to develop a relationship with his daughter, one that was growing past their initial meetings; for that he was grateful. He’d been worried his offer to give Dean money for his shop might have affected things, especially after Dean had been so angry. But he’d done as the other man asked and kept their relationship focused on Mary, and the omega seemed to relax around him when he realized Castiel wasn’t going to push. Their conversations had been civil, Dean going so far as to tell him a story about their child unprompted one weekend. It made Castiel brave enough to text him a few questions about Mary (all in an effort to form plans for this Saturday, of course), and the omega had been responsive. Castiel didn't want to push his luck, but he took it as a good sign.

By the time Wednesday evening rolled around he'd narrowed down his list of activities. Looking online to get a better sense of what a child would enjoy more, he was surprised by a knock at the front door. Not expecting anyone, he curiously walked to the foyer, looking out the side windows to see the unmistakable outline of Sam Winchester. Shit. He’d said they’d be talking soon, but a few weeks had gone by and Castiel had just sort of…forgotten. After that first weekend Dean had come on his own with Mary, and Castiel never saw the other Winchester around town. Knowing Sam had undoubtedly seen him too, he slowly unlocked the door, opening it with a tentative frown.

“Sam.”

“Castiel.” The younger Winchester shouldered his way in, not hesitating before walking into the living room and peering around. Castiel followed warily.

“Not a bad place you’ve got here.”

There was no friendliness in Sam's tone, in fact it almost seemed accusatory. Castiel figured it had to do with the Winchester's lack of money growing up. Even now they stayed in the same old house their father owned, and the alpha was pretty sure that was because of their finances and not a deliberate choice. Still, Castiel knew money wasn't the real problem; he cleared his throat, hoping to cut to the chase.

“Why are you here, Sam?”

The alpha stopped, finally turning and looking at Castiel head on. “You know why I’m here. To have that talk.”

He stepped forward, closing the gap between them so they were only a few feet apart.

“I’ve been stuck on travel for a case so I had to put it off for a bit. Honestly, I thought with your track record I might not even need to by this point, but since you still seem to be here…”

 “I’m not going anywhere.” Castiel said it firmly, needing to impart on Sam how serious he was about this. The two of them were going to be in each other’s lives, so they may as well come to an understanding now.

“We’ll see.” The other alpha scoffed, shoving his hands in his pocket. Castiel narrowed his eyes but didn’t respond, knowing he hadn’t exactly earned the other man’s trust.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“A few things.” Sam picked up a framed photo of him and Gabriel, frowning as he turned it over in his hands.

“I know Dean’s already given you the spiel about what it means to be a parent. The responsibility, how you can’t bail. Know that goes double with me – if you hurt Mary, in any way, be it leaving or otherwise, I will track you down and make sure you regret it.”

Castiel nodded with a frown, having expected this type of speech. Sam may be fairly progressive for an alpha, but he always had a bit of a temper and a protectiveness for family. The posturing seemed to be a side effect of that.

“I don’t want to hurt her Sam. I’m trying my best to make sure I never do.”

“Trying isn’t good enough." The man leveled him with a hard stare, fingers gripping the picture frame tightly. "You control your actions. You determine what you do or do not do. So don’t tell me you don’t want to hurt her, or that you’re trying not to. Tell me you won’t.”

“I won’t.” He bit out the words, the admonition making him bristle. Rationally he knew Sam was just reacting to his past actions; seems like Dean told him what Castiel had said about not having a choice in leaving.

“Uh huh.” Sam put down the portrait of him and Gabriel he’d been holding, frown gracing his lips.

“Dean tells me your family is very traditional. Into raising alpha’s, keeping the family line going…”

That wasn’t something Castiel was expecting, the mention of his family an unpleasant reminder of his current exile. Though he didn't want anything to do with them at this point, the rejection still stung.

“And?”

“It seems like they would be interested in knowing they have a grandchild.”

“They probably would be, if I’d told them. As it is, I have no intention of bringing it up.”

“So you’re not telling anyone in your family about your kid?”

“I told Gabriel. He’s the only one who needs to know.”

“But he might tell them.”

“I asked him not to. What are you trying to get at here, Sam?”

“What I’m getting at is if your parents didn’t think my brother was good enough to be your mate, why would they think he was good enough to raise their grandchild?”

It was a thought that had plagued Castiel as well, the knowledge of their connections and what they might try niggling at the back of his mind. He’d even researched online possible avenues they might pursue, just in case he needed to launch a quick defensive.

“Isn’t it incredibly rare for a grandparent to gain custody?”

“It’s not them gaining custody I’m worried about. They’d never be successful.”

Castiel was growing frustrated, not wanting to beat around the bush.

“What are you worried about then?”

“You. Specifically, them convincing you to pursue custody.” And there it was. Castiel felt his fists clenching involuntarily.

“You think me that easily manipulable?”

“I think they have a lot of influence over you. It’s not like leaving your true mate is a light decision. Who knows what they might convince you to do.”

“And leaving my true mate was the worst decision of my life. I learned my lesson.”

“Maybe.” He said it lightly, but the doubt in his eyes spoke volumes.

“So what, you’re basically afraid I’ll fight for custody.”

“What happens when you get tired of living here again? When you and Dean have a disagreement about how she should be raised?”

“We’ll work it out.”

“Because you’re on such good terms now?” Castiel fidgeted, all of this sounding a bit too much like his conversation with Gabriel. Sam let the silence sit between them before drawing himself up.

“Here’s the bottom line, Cas: It doesn’t matter how many high-priced lawyers your family hires, I will take them on in court and I will not let you take her from us. Do you understand?” Castiel blinked, surprised that Sam had put so much thought into this. He supposed it had to do with him being a lawyer.

"Sure. But let me make sure you understand, Sam. I don't want lawyers, and I don't want to take her away from Dean. But make no mistake, if Dean stops letting me see her, I will go to court – not for full custody, but I will fight to keep her in my life.”

Sam leveled him down with a stare before slowly nodding.

“Sure. It’s not like a judge would grant full custody to a man who abandoned his pregnant mate, anyway.”

And while it was deserved, the talk of his right to see his daughter was a sore spot.

“Except I didn’t know he was pregnant. He kept that from me.”

“And you think the judge won’t be sympathetic when he hears why?” The thought had a tendril of worry forming in Castiel's throat. He had to remind himself this was all hypothetical, that Dean let him see Mary and no one was actually bringing a lawsuit.

“And that brings me to my final point.” Sam stepped forward, closing the gap between them and grabbing the fabric of his shirt. For the first time Castiel became concerned things might get physical.

“Stay the fuck away from my brother.” The words were snarled, the other alpha's face only inches from his own as he towered over him. Castiel barely repressed a shiver.

“I’m not…I only see him once a week when I see Mary.”

“And it will stay like that, understand? No trying to get closer, no using Mary to get back together with him.”

“I don’t- I’m not-”

“Don’t play dumb. You move back here after things don’t go well with your first choice why, exactly? We both know it's not 'cause you love the town, not after you were so eager to leave last time. My brother is not your consolation prize.”

“Of course he's not a consolation prize - I would never - look. I may have left, but I was not eager to go. That was never what I wanted.” Sam outright rolled his eyes at him.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Castiel. How Dean is able to look past what you did and let you into Mary’s life I will never know, but be warned: I will be watching you like a hawk. If I sense for a moment you’re trying to make a move on him, trying to take advantage of him –“

“Take advantage of him? What, and now he’s a damsel in distress?" He found himself pushing back at the alpha, surprised to be successful in putting some space back between them. He didn't let it show, though, standing up to his full height. "My relationship with Dean is between me and him. He can decide for himself what he’s comfortable with, and he’s already made it clear what his boundaries are. Frankly, it’s none of your business.”

Castiel had felt somewhat vindicated until the last sentence left his mouth, a dark shadow replacing the sheepish look that had been forming on the other man's face. Sam stepped forward again, and this time Castiel didn't dare push him back.

“None of my business? I’m the one who got a call at 3:00am four days after you left from my sobbing, _pregnant_ brother having a panic attack over the phone. I’m the one who had to drop out of Stanford and finish my last year of law school at KU. The one who had to break up with Jess, who I was going to _propose_ to, because her goals and dreams were out in California and Dean needed me here. You have no idea what it was like, what he was like. He was more than physically sick, he was an empty shell of my brother. After all the shit we grew up with, of our dad telling him he was useless, only to have his _true mate_ leave him…I had to take care of him until he pulled himself back together, and if it wasn’t for Mary who knows how long that would’ve taken. So yeah, Castiel, it is my business. I will not sit by and watch you waltz back into his life and fuck everything up again."

The words were like a slap to the face. Both men stood there in silence, letting the words resonate between them. Finally Castiel seemed to find his voice.

“I don’t want that either.”

“Good. Then you’ll stay away.”

Sam didn’t wait for an answer, instead marching out the door and slamming it behind him. Castiel found himself sliding down the wall, sitting on the floor and letting his mind wander.

He must have stayed like that for a good half an hour, only pulled out his thoughts by the pinging of his cellphone. Getting up slowly he crossed the room, stopping by his phone to see a text had come in from Dean. He tentatively opened it, not sure what to expect.

_I heard Sam stopped by your house. Sorry about that. Won't happen again._

Castiel looked at the words, surprised at what he was reading. The only clear thought running through his mind was that Dean had broken his Mary-only rule. 

Wordlessly he typed out a reply.

_It's alright. He has a right to be mad._

He wasn't expecting a reply, and he didn't get one. Though Castiel knew Dean wasn't a fan of alpha posturing, he suspected the omega was more upset about Sam revealing information he'd rather keep private. Dean might be willing to discuss physical pain, but he'd never admit how bad things got on any sort of emotional level.

The familiar urge to care for the omega rose inside of him, the irrational need to protect Dean from the pain he himself caused almost overwhelming. But if one thing was clear, it was that Dean had moved on with his life. Castiel wanted to help not because Dean needed it, but because he wanted to assuage his own guilt - and wasn't that just selfish?

Leaving the living room he made his way upstairs, slowly undressing before getting into the shower. Maybe this was it - maybe after all the pain he'd caused, it wasn't a matter of trying to make it up to the omega. Maybe it was a matter of penance - living with the burden of his guilt and accepting it as punishment. 

He could do that.

Who knows, maybe after a while he and Dean could be friends - even if that traitorous voice in the back of his mind would always want more. That was probably the best case scenario, for both them and Mary: everyone getting along. All this talk of custody battles was beginning to rattle him, especially since seeing his daughter had quickly become his one higher purpose in life after everything else fell apart. He hoped if nothing else he and Dean would never fight over her like that.

Exiting the shower and toweling dry, he crawled into bed knowing he wouldn't be getting sleep for a while yet. Though the past still haunted him, the promise of the future provided respite. Digging into his nightstand drawer, he grabbed a notebook and pen, scrawling down pros and cons lists for possible Saturday activities. He might as well focus on the positive as he dealt with the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Also, I've been feeling down and would like to do some shorter, fluffier stuff. So if you have a prompt you'd like me to take a shot at in that vein, hit me up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the feedback and support for this story - I'm so sorry I haven't updated, the past two weeks have been absolutely insane. I wanted to post this chapter before I leave on travel tomorrow so I don't leave you hanging for another week. But because of that it's not edited as much, so I'm sorry if it's a little rough. The good news is that I should finally have some free time again and hopefully get a lot of writing done once I'm back (in another week).

Castiel finished the last of his tea, knowing Dean would be bringing Mary by any moment now. After a few more hours of careful deliberation he’d narrowed his list down to three activities, and though he definitely wanted to have her help him plant some new flowers in his garden he remained divided about the last two options. When Dean called to confirm what he was planning, Castiel had explained his dilemma and the omega had sighed exasperatedly and told him to just make cookies with her. Apparently Mary’s favorite was oatmeal raisin – just like Castiel. The thought brought a small smile to his face.

That had been the one highlight of the conversation, the rest of it a bit stilted. Castiel found himself tense and overly formal after his conversation with Sam. He honestly wasn't sure how to act around Dean, not wanting to be paternalistic but also feeling like he needed to keep firm boundaries between them. What was 'normal' when you'd done what he'd done?

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, and Castiel quickly jumped up to answer it. When he opened the door wide blue eyes looked behind him curiously, taking in his home. Dean stood behind the girl, shifting on his feet as he looked down at his daughter before glancing up at Castiel. The corners of his mouth tipped upwards in a tense smile as Mary already began to push forward, eager to look around.

“Hi Mary. Hello, Dean.”

“Hey Cas. You ready for this?”

“Yes, of course. I’ve prepared extensively. Everything should go smoothly.”

“Right. Well, in the off chance things don’t go exactly as planned, don’t sweat it. You have my number, right? You’ll call, if there’s a problem?”

“Of course.”

Mary had at this point wrapped her arms around Castiel’s legs, looking past him dramatically as she found her path blocked. Dean kneeled down behind her, tugging her back.

“Come on now, aren’t you going to say goodbye to your old man?”

She giggled, wrapping her arms around the omega as he held her tightly. She squirmed impatiently in his hold, and he reluctantly pulled away while still gripping her shoulders.

“Alright, alright. Just one more minute, okay? I know you're excited to be spending the day with your alpha daddy. Just remember, you can call me for any reason. Anything at all. And who do you call if there’s an emergency?”

“911.”

“That’s right.” He fiddled with her clothes, adjusting them flittingly. “Are you too hot? Too cold? I could go grab your jacket if you –“

“Daddy I’m fine.” Mary was wriggling impatiently, and Dean reluctantly dropped his arms.

“Okay. Why don’t you head inside.”

She didn’t need to be told twice, Castiel stepping aside as she bounded through the door.

“And be careful! No running in the house!”

He stood there with a sad smile on his face, making no move to leave. Castiel could see he was nervous by the way he rocked back and forth, and though the alpha was looking forward to his first day really alone with his daughter, his talk with Sam and the reminder of what he'd put Dean through had him extra deferential.

“You know, you’re welcome to stay if you want. I mean, if you’re not comfortable…”

For a moment Castiel thought he would take him up on the offer, freezing and looking at the alpha searchingly. But the moment never came, the omega instead seeming to deflate before shoving his hands in his pockets.

“No. No, it’s your day…just, call me if anything goes wrong, okay?”

“Okay.”

He nodded before turning back to the Impala, and Castiel took that as his cue to reenter his house. He found Mary bouncing on the couch enthusiastically.

“This is so much better than our couch!”

“Alright, alright, there will be time to play on the couch later. Right now I need your help – I have all these flowers I want to plant. Do you think you could help me?”

“Yeah!” She jumped down, looking around. “Which way?”

“Here, follow me.”

Castiel led her through the kitchen to his back door, opening it for her as she walked out onto the porch. She stopped, looking around at the chairs and potted plants lining the deck. Apparently satisfied, she bolted down the steps leading into the yard, Castiel barely able to yell out “careful” before she was wandering through his garden. Walking quickly to catch up, he stopped behind her as she knelt down to inspect a growing snap bean plant.

“What’s this?”

“That's a bean plant. In about a month these first few pods will be fully developed and I’ll harvest them to eat.”

“So you grow food?”

“Yes. Vegetables, some flowers, a few trees.”

“What about ketchup?”

“Huh?”

“Daddy says ketchup is a vegetable. Do you grow it?”

Castiel barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes, thinking it was exactly like Dean to say something like that. Sure, it was one thing if the omega wanted to live off of burgers and pie, but to tell a child that ketchup is a vegetable…

“No, Mary. Ketchup is made from tomatoes though, which I’m growing just over there. Here, let me show you.”

He led her along, stopping to explain what his various plants were as they made their way across his lawn. The impromptu tour made him realize the progress he’d made; though there was still plenty of space in his yard and plenty more to grow, he really had accumulated quite the collection. In fact, by the time he’d shown Mary around close to an hour had gone by. Castiel realized they were already behind schedule, but he couldn't bring himself to be upset about it - seeing how curious Mary was about his hobby had warmth tingling under his skin.

It certainly made him feel more confident in his choice of activity. Hopefully she would be just as interested in helping plant his hydrangea shrubs as she was with the flora already in his garden. Once they made their way full circle, he gently nudged her over to the area in front of his porch where he’d planned to put the bushes. Grabbing one of the hydrangea's he'd bought, he lifted it up to show her.

"This, Mary, is a hydrangea. It's a type of flower. We're going to plant eight of them today."

He knelt in front of the dirt he'd cleared for planting, Mary quickly following suit with a nod. Placing down the shrub, Castiel handed her a pair of child's gloves and a small trowel.

“Put the gloves on to protect your hands. This, right here, is called a trowel. We’re going to use them to dig a small hole in the ground, about as deep as the size of this root ball.” He held up the hydrangea shrub again, pointing to the roots. “And about two times as wide. We’re gonna space them all three feet apart, and once we’ve dug the holes we’ll go from there. Any questions?”

He was met with a blank expression, Mary holding the trowel with one gloved hand while the other glove hung half-off. Castiel paused before putting down his shrub.

“Here.” He grabbed her hand, adjusting the glove so it was on securely. “Now, why don’t you just copy what I’m doing?” Mary nodded, watching intently as Castiel began breaking earth. She began to mimic him, slowly piling up soil in a slightly sloppy pile next to the hole. Soon they had two roughly identical holes dug in the ground side by side, Mary looking on in expectation as Castiel made a show of carefully examining her work.

“Hmmm…good depth…nice width…overall, I’d say this is great work.” Mary beamed, looked at the hole with pride. “I think you're ready to move on to the next one.”

Scooting a few feet over they continued to dig, Mary with enthusiasm as she copied her father. By the time they had eight holes lined up in front of his deck, the sun had been beating down on them and Castiel had a steady stream of sweat on his forehead.

“Alright. So we’ve dug the holes. The next part is pretty easy – we take these shrubs, place them in the holes, and fill them halfway with dirt. Then we’ll water them, and add the rest of soil.” The girl nodded, and they quickly placed the hydrangeas in the ground before Castiel showed Mary how to shovel in the dirt. Soon they were watering the plants, then filling in the rest of the soil. Stepping back, Castiel surveyed their work with pride. Sure it looked good, but the fact he’d done this with his daughter…it was something he’d be able to remember every time he sat on his back porch and admired his garden.

“They’re kinda small.”

“Yeah, they are for now. But give it time and they’ll grow.”

“How long?”

“Hmmm. I’d say about a year.”

“A year?” She drew out the word, looking forlorn. Castiel couldn’t help but chuckle. How long a year must seem to a child...meanwhile, the two months he’d spent back in Lawrence seemed like they’d gone by in a second.

“Yeah. You’ll just have to be a little patient.” The pout on her face suggested otherwise, and Castiel felt he should change the subject. Taking off his gloves and throwing them by their plants, he wiped his forehead, taking with him a large amount of sweat.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty thirsty.”

“Me too!” Mary swept a hand across her forehead, mimicking his actions without taking off her gloves. A large line of dirt was left on her face.

“Alright. Here, why don’t we get these off…” he paused as he helped her remove her gloves, “and then we can go inside.” He didn’t need to tell her twice, Mary running off inside as soon as the gloves were off. Castiel found himself quickly following, finding her standing in front of his fridge.

“What would you like to drink? I have water, tea, apple juice.,,”

“Apple juice!”

He’d anticipated the answer, Dean telling him beforehand that it was her favorite drink. He'd even been given detailed instructions on how to cut it down with water. 

“Alright, why don’t you go to the sink and wash up while I grab the apple juice.” He nodded over to the sink, a stepping stool already set up which Mary quickly hopped on. Castiel meanwhile grabbed a glass and filled it halfway with apple juice before adding water from the fridge dispenser. He placed the glass on the counter and walked over to Mary, grabbing a paper towel and wetting it. “Hold still for one second.” She immediately froze, looking up at him curiously as he wiped off the dirt. “There.” He finished, throwing the paper towel in the garbage and stepping back to hand the glass of apple juice to the child. Pouring a glass of water for himself, they drank in companionable silence for a bit until Mary decided she was done. Placing her glass on the counter, she got down from the stool and declared “I’m hungry!”

Castiel glanced at the clock, realizing it was later than he’d thought. Oh no. Of course she was hungry. How could he have forgotten to feed her?

“After all that hard work, I bet you are. Dean tells me you like grilled cheese.”

“Yeah!”

“Great, let’s make you some grilled cheese.” He bustled around the kitchen until he had all the ingredients, going over to the stove and grabbing a frying pan as Mary climbed into a seat at his table. Castiel quickly fried up the sandwich, moving it to a paper plate and then grabbing a few baby carrots to round things out. He’d felt pretty good about his work, but Mary crossed her arms with a pout when he set it down in front of her.

“Daddy always cuts the crust off.”

Oh. Dean hadn’t mentioned that, but it was an easy enough fix. Grabbing a knife from a drawer he quickly cut off the crust, removing them to nibble on himself as he sat with her at the table. She grabbed the now crust-less sandwich, taking a big bite and chewing enthusiastically. Castiel idly wondered if she inherited her eating habits from Dean or simply learned them from the omega. Nature versus nurture, he supposed.

“Daddy says I’m going to start kindergarten next year.” She’d paused her chewing for only a moment to get out the words before restarting in on her sandwich.

“Kindergarten, huh? Are you excited?” Castiel certainly was. He’d missed a lot of Mary’s first milestones, but at least he wasn’t going to miss her first day of school.

“Yeah! I’m gonna go to Cardinal Elementary, and meet a bunch of kids, and get a backpack…”

He listened as she went on about the things she was excited about, nodding solemnly as she described the school supplies she would need. Eventually she finished her sandwich, fiddling with the carrots and claiming she wasn’t hungry until Castiel promised to split them with her. While she finished up he quickly cleaned the utensils he'd used, clearing the kitchen so they could move onto their afternoon activity of baking cookies.

Sure they were running a little late, but he'd still allotted what should be plenty of time. Things seemed to be going smoothly, and Mary seemed to be having fun. All that was left was baking cookies – all kids liked cookies, and the directions he’d found seemed pretty straight forward. What could go wrong?

* * *

Five o’clock brought knocking at the door, right on time as he and Dean had agreed. Castiel’s heart fluttered as he clumsily shoved the last tray lined with cookie dough into the oven, closing it quickly as he toweled his hands clean and turned to Mary. Hastily wetting a cloth he tried to clean her up as the knocking continued, eventually giving up before ushering Mary to the foyer to greet Dean. Taking a deep breathe and opening the door, he was greeted by the sight of tense omega. Had he been wearing a different shirt before? Castiel brushed it off as he took in Dean's surprised expression, noting a solitary blink before a smile erupted across the omega's face.

“How’d the baking go, Cas?”

The alpha wasn’t sure how to respond, surprised by Dean’s sudden mirth. Mary, however, interjected.

“We just put the cookies in the oven!”

Castiel winced, expecting Dean to be upset, but the omega didn’t seem too surprised.

“Dean, I’m so sorry, I had set aside two hours to do the cookies but things got behind schedule and a little out of hand and I –“

“Cas. It’s okay. Sometimes things get a little off schedule.” Much to Castiel’s surprise he seemed to be holding back a laugh as he leaned forward, a hand reaching out to ruffle his hair. The alpha was shocked to see white dust flutter everywhere, realizing it must have been flour.

“And sometimes they get messy. The cookies only take ten minutes to bake, don’t they? It’s fine. Why don’t you head to a bathroom to clean up and I’ll work on Mary, hmm?”

Castiel could only nod dumbly, glad Dean wasn’t upset. If anything, he seemed cheerful – and perhaps somewhat relieved at finding Mary safe and sound. He walked to the bathroom in a daze, Dean’s effortless control a stark contrast to the mess that baking had been. Mary may be great, but she was still a kid, and well – kids are messy. Kids spill things, and get flour everywhere. Kids wipe things on you and think it's funny.

One look in the bathroom mirror was enough to make him do a double take. There wasn’t just flour in his hair – it was everywhere. Mysterious stains lined his clothing, a piece of dough was lobbed onto his shoulder somehow. Wetting a towel he cleaned himself as best he could, exasperated by the mess and knowing an even greater one was awaiting him in the kitchen.

Finally satisfied he made his way back to the kitchen, only to find the omega had cleaned their daughter much more effectively than Castiel's paltry attempt. By now Dean was peering into the oven, reaching for one of the towels to use as a makeshift oven mitt as he pulled two trays out of the oven. Placing them on the stove, he turned around to find Castiel had returned.

“Looks like you guys made quite the mess in here.”

Castiel looked around at the pile of dirty dishes and sticky substances coating his counters.

“Yes, it seems so.”

“Hmm. Well I took the cookies out, they’ll take five minutes to cool.”

“Great, thank you Dean. I have some Tupperware, you can take the cookies home.”

“We made you chocolate chip, daddy!” Mary gestured excitedly, pointing out the five cookies they hadn’t added oats to and thrown chocolate chips in – a trick Dean had shown him years ago. Mary had wanted to bring cookies back to her dad and Castiel knew Dean didn't like oatmeal, so…

“Hmm, chocolate chip? For me? How did you know that was my favorite?” Dean began to tickle Mary, who shrieked in delight. Castiel couldn’t help smiling fondly as he watched the two; it seemed so natural, having them there in his kitchen, laughing. Almost as if he could pretend that they were a happy family...but his conversation with Sam slammed back to the forefront of his mind, the reminder of what he put Dean through wiping the smile off his face. He supposed this was it, part of his penance; seeing what could've been and knowing he ruined it.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he grabbed his Tupperware, lining it with paper towels and approaching the two. Dean ceased his ministrations, gripping Mary by the shoulders as he knelt in front of her.

“Why don’t you run to the bathroom before we head out, hmm?”

“Okay!” She scattered off, and Dean turn around to face the stove with Castiel. Wordlessly they started packing away cookies side by side, closer than they'd been since Castiel returned. He tried not to be too affected by the proximity, the delicious scent of Dean mixing sublimely with the cookies. There was some other scent Castiel didn’t recognize itching at his nose, not quite right, but his efforts to place it were interrupted by Dean.

“You didn’t have to do the chocolate chip cookies, you know.”

“I know. Mary wanted to bring you cookies, and I know you don’t like oatmeal, so…”

“So you made a few chocolate chip. I’m surprised you remembered.”

“Of course I remembered.” He placed the last of the cookies in Tupperware, putting the lid on firmly and handing it to the omega. Their eyes locked, and Dean opened his mouth as if to say something, but the moment was interrupted by Mary running into the room.

“I’m ready!”

“Okay sweetheart, here, why don’t you help me carry the cookies.” He handed her one of the Tupperware containers, placing a hand on the back of her head as he began to lead her out of the kitchen. Castiel followed wordlessly as he opened the door for them, wondering what Dean had wanted to say.

“I’ll give you a call about next weekend, okay Cas?”

“Okay, Dean. Talk to you then. Bye Mary.”

"Bye!" She waved at him enthusiastically as Dean led her toward the car. Castiel let himself watch them drive off before walking back into his home, unnerved by the silence that greeted him. It all seemed so much emptier in Dean and Mary's absence. Turning on his TV as background noise, he walked back into the kitchen prepared to spend a few hours cleaning. 

Things still seemed off kilter with Dean, and maybe that was for the best. Sam's warning echoed through his head, and Castiel's day with Mary had given him new perspective. Though it had been one of the best days since he'd moved back to Kansas, it had also been absolutely exhausting - and it was only one day. Dean had taken care of Mary for four and a half years without his help, and Castiel couldn't imagine how hard that must've been, even without the true mate rejection. The man never ceased to amaze him.

Still, he felt they could find some equilibrium where Mary was concerned. After all, they were both clearly wrapped around her finger. He guessed they'd put that to the test with her first day of school, maybe even shopping for school supplies. Regardless, his relationship with his daughter felt stronger than ever. Castiel couldn't wait to plan for next weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't it amazing how caffeine can move a person's mind?

The next few Saturdays Castiel got Mary for the day, their time spent out in the garden or playing games. The child was a whirlwind of energy, but Castiel had quickly found his footing; he learned what she enjoyed, what she disliked, how to shift her focus. He was also more careful to be ready by five, not wanting to push his luck even though Dean had been understanding that first time. They had gotten into a rhythm, some days seeing Dean more cheerful than others. It was those happier times they'd stop and chat about their daughter, Dean updating Castiel on her life and occasionally sharing a story. That same foreign scent itched at his nose occasionally, and it niggled at the back of Castiel's mind the rest of the day whenever he caught it. Still, he couldn't help basking in the little time he had with the omega, though he tried to keep a respectful distance.

Things seemed to be looking up in the community as well, the nasty looks sometimes replaced with smiles now as people saw him around town with Mary. He’d even gotten a call from Samandriel inviting him to a cookout at his and Inias’ home. It would be the first time he’d gone to a public social event since leaving, but Castiel felt it was about time. He had to admit even with Mary on Saturdays and his amicable conversations with coworkers, he felt...lonely. It was nice to have something to look forward to.

First though, he had promised to meet Dean at the library.

He was surprised when he received a text from the omega asking if they could talk. Dean had suggested Sunday, when Mary went to reading hour – said they could sit near the back and chat while she listened to the stories. Castiel had accepted without question, though curiosity burned inside him. Had he done something wrong? Had Mary complained about spending her Saturdays with him?

His fears were somewhat allayed when he entered the library, quickly scoping out Dean and Mary; the girl's face lit up at the sight of him.

“Daddy!” she yelled running forward, wrapping her arms around his legs. Castiel froze, eyes widening in wonder. It was the first time she’d ever referred to him as her father.

“Hey there pumpkin,” he responded, tousling her hair gently. She pouted at the motion before letting go of his legs and stepping back.

“Are you here to hear Mr. Garth’s stories?” Castiel knelt down to her height, glancing up at the librarian he could see setting up a few yards away with what looked like a variety of sock puppets.

“Hmmm. That’s a very tempting offer. But I’m actually here to talk to your omega daddy. Will you be sure to pay close attention and fill me in on what I missed?” Mary immediately nodded, face serious at being given a task.

“Okay. Maybe afterwards you can meet Mr. Fizzles.”

“It would be an honor.” She smiled big at that, and Castiel couldn’t help giving a small smile in return.

“Alright, it looks like they’re gonna start soon. Why don’t you go grab a good seat?”

“Okay!” she turned on her heel, running over to the seating area where other kids had already gathered.

Castiel glanced back up at Dean as he slowly rose, finding the omega leaning against a bookshelf with his arms crossed. He sported a small smile - wistful, almost.

“You’re good with her.” The omega said it lightly, but Castiel could detect a hint of resentment and...sadness?

“I try to be.”

They stared at each other a moment longer, Dean eventually turning away and glancing toward the window.

“You wanna grab a table over there?”

“Sure.”

They made their way over, sitting by the window but with a clear view of the reading group. Castiel folded his hands, giving Dean his attention, but the omega was focused on the librarian picking up his first story. Castiel followed his line of sight, noting a rather odd looking puppet on the man's hand.

"I thought the puppets were so stupid the first time we came here. I was terrified I ruined reading for Mary, that she'd come back and say how lame it was. Turns out the kids love it."

Castiel found that hard to believe, but the children did seem enraptured.

"It is rather...poorly constructed."

Dean looked back at him, mischievous glint in his eye.

"You should see the pig one."

A smirk flitted across his face, and Castiel returned a smile hesitantly. Dean held his eyes a moment longer before returning his gaze to the reading group, but Castiel found himself watching the omega. He couldn't help admiring the freckles speckling his cheeks, his strong jawline...

Dean looked back at him with a start.

“Still staring, huh Cas?”

The alpha looked down, sheepish. “Apologies.”

“It’s fine. Hell, it might be weirder if you didn’t.”

“I’ve been told it can be…invasive.”

The omega snorted, eyes still glancing toward the reading group.

“Remember that time we went to Kansas City, and we stopped by that diner? The one with the really ugly moon on the front? And you kept looking out the window, but that woman thought you were staring at her? And her husband, who just happened to be a cop, came to the table to shake you down?”

The alpha glowered, not a fan of that memory.

“It was an urban bee farm! I’d never seen one before!”

“The cop did not believe you at all – and when he leaned over the table and called you ‘punk’-”

“You knocked over your milkshake. Into his crotch.”

The two chuckled at the memory, letting an amicable silence fall between them. Castiel wondered if he should bring up Samandriel's barbecue, see if the omega was going; their Mary-only conversation rule seemed to at least be temporarily on hold. He hesitated though at the site of Dean's smile slowly fading from his face, the omega eventually clearing his throat and looking away. Maybe now wasn't the time.

“So…the reason I called you down here.”

Castiel accepted the change of topic, offering the omega his full attention.

“Things seem to be going well with you and Mary. I mean, she’s clearly grown attached.” Cas gave a small nod, wondering where this was going.

“And so I thought we should talk about what you wanted from the relationship. You know, not necessarily right now, but maybe something to work towards.”

Castiel's brow furrowed, head tipping slightly to the side.

“I’m…not sure what you mean.”

Dean sighed, shifting in his seat.

“I mean, how are we doing this? Are you content with just having her on Saturdays? Do you want more? Obviously there’s no way you’re getting her full time but…how involved do you want to be in her life?”

Castiel blinked, not expecting that. So this was their 'custody' talk? After both their brothers kept bringing up lawyers, he had been worried the omega was going to insist on them - after all, he was clearly very protective of Mary. Regardless of the reason why, Castiel was relieved Dean had come to talk to him directly. Lawyers would only get in the way - and he knew his answer to the other man's question without one.

“Completely.”

“Uh, maybe I wasn’t clear –“

“As much as possible. Dean, I am committed. For the long haul. I’ve already missed so much, but I don’t want to miss anything from here on forward. I want to be there for her first day of school. The first time she rides a bike. Her first date. Graduations. Everything. I want to be involved as possible.”

Dean leveled him with a stare the alpha couldn't read, turning and looking out the window with that wistfulness again.

“Is…is that alright?”

The omega looked down for only a moment before drawing a hand over his face, then abruptly straightening in his seat.

“Yeah – yeah of course, Cas. It’s great that you want to be involved in Mary’s life." He took a breathe. "So here’s what I’m thinking. She shouldn’t be going back and forth between houses during the school week. So maybe she should stay with me during the week and with you on the weekends during the school year. And during the summer you can have an extra day a week. We can split holidays. Thoughts?”

"Well, that - that sounds good, actually."

"Yeah? Cards on the table, I want Christmas. So I guess that means you should get Thanksgiving."

Castiel would like nothing more than to share the holidays with his daughter, and yet...

"I would love that Dean, really I would but...holidays are a time to be with family. Thanksgiving and Christmas especially. And I...well, I don’t exactly have any family to celebrate with.” Gabe had already mentioned going to Thanksgiving with his girlfriend’s family, and Castiel wasn't about to expose his daughter to the rest of them. “Mary shouldn’t be stuck with just me.”

Dean stared, mouth open as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

“Maybe…I could take her out trick or treating?”

Dean finally closed his mouth, and if Castiel didn’t know any better he’d say he there was pity in his eyes. Whatever it was was quickly smoothed over.

“Sure Cas. We can talk about it again later, if you change your mind. “

Castiel nodded mutely, tapping his fingers against the table.

“I’d like to be there for all the big moments. Mary told me she’s going to start kindergarten in the fall…”

“Yeah, yeah she is. I can text you the details so you can meet us there her first day, if you want.”

“That would be great. And what about shopping for school supplies?”

“What about it?”

“Could I…”

“Cas…I have it covered.”

“I know. I’m sure you do. I just…I used to love new school supplies.”

Dean snorted.

“Of course you did, you dork.”

“I just want to tag along – I won’t get in the way. I’d be happy to pay for half of her supplies, if you want, but I just…want to be involved.”

The omega sighed, pursing his lips briefly before relenting.

“I guess that’s fine. I was gonna wait ‘til that tax free weekend in August.”

"That sounds great. Thank you Dean." His gummy smile was sincere, and Dean gave a small one in return. 

* * *

The afternoon found Castiel in his car, following his GPS to the home Samandriel and Inias now shared. A container of homemade potato salad, his one specialty, sat next to him on the passenger seat. Dean always used to joke it was the one thing the alpha could make better than him. Castiel hoped it was enough.

Parking on the street he made his way to the house, heeding Samandriel’s directions to just head to the back. He followed a small stone pathway to an open gate, surprised by the number of people in the yard. Hedges lined the fence, a patio with some chairs and twinkle lights adorning one corner of the lawn, a long line of tables covered in food and a grill taking up the other. Music was coming from somewhere, the sound of chatter filling the air. 

“Castiel!”

Samandriel had spotted him and was walking over with Inias in tow.

“We’re so glad you could make it!” the omega's expression was sincere, though Castiel noted the tight line of Inias’ smile.

“As am I; thank you for inviting me.”

“Of course! Is that your famous potato salad I see? Here, let me take it to the food table.” Castiel handed it over, Samandriel pressing a single kiss to Inias’ cheek before making his way across the lawn. Castiel smiled awkwardly at the other alpha, silence stretching between them.

“So Inias…how have things been?”

“Oh, they’ve been well." His neutral expression seemed strained. "How has Sandover been treating you?”

“Good, good.”

They stood there awkwardly for a few moments, Castiel nudging the grass with his feet. Thankfully, Samandriel was quick to return.

“So Castiel, how have things been since returning to Lawrence?”

“They’ve been good. I’ve gotten back into running and gardening and…I’ve been getting to know Mary.”

“Oh Castiel that’s wonderful! She’s such a sweet girl. How's she doing these days?”

"Great! Just the other day we were picking some of the green beans from my garden, and..."

He launched into the story, jumping at the chance to talk about his daughter. Okay, so he’d never had a chance to brag about his kid before, and maybe he went a little bit overboard telling them anecdotes about how fantastic she was. It was about the time he was gushing over how she solved a sixty piece puzzle that he realized he’d maybe talked beyond what was considered socially acceptable. Still, Samandriel only offered a fond smile; even Inias seemed softer, if not as kind as the omega.

“She sounds amazing, Cas. We can only hope our little one is half as talented.” Samandriel placed a hand on his stomach absently, a sly smile on his face.

“So you’re…?”

He nodded, Inias wrapping his arms around him and sharing a small smile.

“Congratulations you two! You’ll make wonderful parents I’m sure.”

“Thank you Cas. But speaking of the little bugger, he likes to sleep on my bladder. If you’ll excuse me…”

Samandriel offered one more smile before heading into the house at the same moment Inias was called into a nearby group. The two alpha’s nodded at each other before parting ways, and Castiel found himself standing there awkwardly for a moment as he looked around the yard. Eventually he took a deep breathe and approached a group of people clumped nearby.

Conversation was hard. People seemed surprised he was there, some greeting him with frowns, others overly polite. Most clearly went out of their way to avoid mentioning Mary or Dean, though some couldn’t seem to help making pointed comments. He tried to wade the conversations with grace, and at least some devolved into a semblance of normalcy. He was tentatively starting to enjoy himself by the time he decided to get a drink, the summer heat starting to affect him.

He had grabbed a beer from a cooler and turned around, looking to see where he should head to next when he saw him. Dean, head thrown back in a laugh at something the couple he was facing said. The sight of the omega wasn’t too surprising - Samandriel and Inias had been mutual friends. No, it was the arm draped around his waist-and the alpha attached to it-that had Castiel frozen. Almost in slow motion he saw the other man lean closer, whispering something in Dean's ear before moving to press a chaste kiss to his lips.

Castiel was going to throttle him.

Suddenly the air felt like it had evaporated from his lungs, the undeniable urge to empty the contents of his stomach taking hold. Distantly he could feel his limbs trembling, heard the small thud of his beer landing in the grass. He desperately tried to hold onto rationality as a burning heat rose in his throat, _jealousy_ ripping viciously, irrationally through him. How dare he. How dare another alpha touch _his mate_ –

“Come on now." He felt cold water being splashed onto his neck, enough to distract him from the sight of Dean and register a strong hand gripping his ear and pulling. "Inside. Before you cause a scene.” Barely holding onto to his self control he let himself be dragged away, eventually ending up pushed into the laundry room. He felt two full body shudders go through him before he was rushing to the industrial sink, retching out the meager contents of his stomach.

“There, there. Let it on out.” The voice was business-like and authoritative, familiar to Castiel in the back of his mind. He felt dizzy and weak, continuing to gag over the basin for a good few minutes before collapsing onto the floor.

He waited for his heart rate to slow before glancing up, recognizing Ellen Harvelle as the person who’d grabbed him. He’d dreaded seeing her before this, knowing she was sure to chew him out and then some for how he'd left. At the moment though, he could only focus on the tumultuous rolling of his stomach.

“You good? Breathe in and out now, come on.”

Castiel complied, closing his eyes and praying for the dizziness to go away. Pressure waves kept rolling over him, making his mind fuzzy. The last time he'd felt like this was when he was sixteen, sea sick from two hours on a rather small ferry in choppy water. Belatedly he tried to remember what his brother Michael had told him - counting? That sounded right - counting his breathe. In four, out eight.

He focused on his breathing, desperately trying not to re-imagine Dean out there with…

Benny. That was his name. He remembered him from when he and Dean were together, one of Dean’s coworkers at the garage. The alpha who had clearly been interested, the one Dean insisted he wasn’t into…

He felt that burning in his chest again, an inadvertent growl ripping from his throat.

“Hush now. You chose to let him go, so you don’t have any business getting all growley, you hear?”

Castiel at least tamped down on his vocalization, trying to focus on Ellen’s words. What had she said? He wanted to ask, but he felt like he was choking on his own aggression. Focusing on his breathing again, he slowly caught on. Yes. He chose to let Dean go. He left. Abandoned him. Dean, who had to go through this for months as he dealt with true mate rejection. Dean, who'd been pregnant –

The thought was like ice water rushing over him, chilling the heat that had moments ago been consuming. He felt his blood pressure lowering, heart rate evening out as he repeated the thought in his mind.

“There. You calm now?” He spared a nod. ”Good.” She slapped him on the head, a strangled noise escaping from his throat in indignation. “Enough of that. You have no right to go all feral on that poor boy, not after what you’ve done. He’s finally moving on and you will not ruin that for him with your alpha crap.”

He blinked, taking in her words and letting them wash over him. The nausea began to settle, the dizziness abating as guilt took their place. Still, his hands couldn’t seem to stop trembling…

“Hold on, don’t move.” He heard Ellen sigh then leave the room, shutting the door behind her. He concentrated on his breathing, minutes passing by until the door opened once more. Looking up he was greeted by the sight of Ellen with a bottle of Jack and a tumbler, a shot presented to him before he could even question what was going on. 

“Here. Drink.”

Castiel wordlessly obeyed, eyes watering at the burn as it went down. Somehow she was right though – warmth spread through his veins, and he finally stopped trembling.

“Now, I should give you a good ass whoopin' for what you put my boy through.” The alpha gulped, knowing she was serious. “But I have a feeling you’re getting your own share o’ grief. So I’ll tell you what. You keep yourself under control, you be supportive of him and don’t interfere with his relationship, and I’ll leave you unscathed. For now.”

It was completely fair, Castiel knew, but still his stomach lurched at the thought. He could barely think about them together without fire erupting under his skin, how was he supposed to be supportive? But concentrating on what he'd done to Dean seemed to help him clamp down on his body's reaction. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more in control he felt. He could do this. He could do this for Dean. He owed him.

Finally giving a small nod, Castiel gestured at the bottle, silently requesting another shot. Ellen seemed to understand because she swiftly poured him another, resealing the bottle and grabbing the tumbler once he was finished. 

“Good. Now take the time you need, and don’t come back out until you can control yourself.” She waited for him to give another nod of understanding before turning on her heel, leaving the room and shutting the door firmly behind her. The alpha sighed in the darkness, mulling over the situation. He was tempted to sneak out the back, make a run for it so he didn’t have to go back out there. People probably wouldn’t blame him considering the circumstances, most would be gleeful to see him sneaking away with his tail between his legs. But Castiel had done enough running. He came back to show Dean he had changed, wanted to prove to the omega he was committed to staying this time. Dean finding someone else had always been a possibility, though one he never cared to think about. It was time to face the facts.

He spent probably another thirty to forty five minutes sitting in the dark, focusing his thoughts and trying to ensure his body was under control. When he finally left the room, he found himself frozen inside by the door to the patio for another fifteen minutes, watching Dean and Benny from afar to make sure he was under control. He was glad he had the extra buffer.

Finally feeling prepared he made his way outside, going back to the cooler and this time grabbing a water. He chugged half of it before resealing the bottle. Bracing himself, he took a deep breathe and turned around, marching toward the couple with determination. Dean noticed him first, eyes widening in surprise as he caught him from the corner of his vision. It was only as Castiel got closer that he began nudging the man he’d come with, staring at the oncoming alpha with concern. Castiel briefly tried to school his features, hoping his expression didn’t reveal the storm brewing under his skin.

“Cas, what are you – I didn’t realize you’d be here.”

“Yes, Samandriel invited me. Hello, Dean.” He willed the fire in his stomach to dampen, swallowing once. “Benny, isn’t it?” he held out a hand, relieved to see it wasn’t shaking. It was a risky move, actually touching the man.

“That it is brother.” He grasped his hand, shaking firmly. A little too firmly. Castiel had to close his eyes and will himself not to let out the growl bubbling up his throat.

“I take it Mary is with Sam?” he tried to keep his voice light and casual, though he wasn’t sure it was working. Dean was staring at him with wide eyes.

“I…she…yeah?”

“Yeah, Sam offered to watch her while we went out for a few hours.”

Benny stepped in and Castiel nodded, watching Dean out of the corner of his eye. The omega's gaze was assessing, as if Castiel was a puzzle he couldn't figure out.

“Did you hear the good news from Samandriel and Inias?”

There was a pause, Dean continuing to stare with furrowed brows. Benny decided to take the lead.

“Yeah, we heard they got a bun in the oven. We’re happy for ‘em, they’ve been trying for awhile now.”

“Ah, even better then. I can’t think of a more deserving couple.”

Dean's mouth had slowly settled into a firm line, face schooled into a blank expression. To many it would seem innocuous, but Castiel recognized it from nights he was banished to sleeping on the couch. When the omega noticed Castiel’s gaze, a tight lipped smile took its place.

“Dean tells me you’re working over at Sandover.”

“Yeah, back at the old accounting job.”

“How’s that suiting you?”

“It’s…well. It’s suiting me well. I have so much more time now to do the things I’ve missed.”

“Yeah, like what?”

“Running, reading, gardening…”

“Yeah? You grow any food?”

“Benny here is a bit of an amateur chef.” Dean interjected, leaning into the other alpha. Castiel bit the inside of his cheek as his stomach lurched.

“I get most of my produce from a guy I know a few miles out of town, but there are a few specialty items he don’t grow.”

“Like?”

“Mostly peppers. I’ve been missing birds-eye peppers the most.”

“Well I can’t say I’m familiar with them, but if you get me some seeds I always like a challenge.”

Okay, that kind of sounded competative. He was running a little thin here, aggression slowly creeping to the surface. If Benny’s expression was anything to go by, he’d picked up on it. Maybe he should construct an exit strategy…

“Burgers are ready!” Inias’ voice rang across the yard. Castiel gave an internal sigh of relief, glad for the distraction.

“Well, I’ll let you grab some food; I know how Dean loves burgers.” It was a weak attempt at humor, and Dean gave another tight-lipped smile. He seemed somehow deflated now.

“Yeah. Good to see you Cas.”

“See you later, brother.”

With a nod they left to head toward the grill, and Castiel felt like a thousand ton weight was lifted from his chest. Slowly he became aware of several eyes on him, and realized he must have gathered quite a bit of attention. He hoped he hadn’t given them too much to talk about.

Stepping back toward the fence, he drank his water while waiting for the attention to drift elsewhere. When he felt no one was watching, he started edging toward the exit. He should probably say goodbye to the hosts before leaving, but the thought of accidentally running into Dean or Benny again caused a pit of dread in his stomach. Maybe it was cowardly, but he’d already faced them once today.

Reaching the gate, he darted out quickly and made a run for his car. Away from the people - okay, away from Dean and Benny - he was finally able to let his thoughts wander. Behind the burning dislike he felt for the other alpha, the chorus of _mine, mine, mine_ running through his head, he had to admit Benny had been a nice guy. He was sure the man was good to Dean. Yet he was plagued by the inescapable feeling that the two were simply not right for each other.

Of course, he was pretty biased.

Though his gut was insisting he run back to the omega and tell Dean all the ways Benny was wrong for him, rationally he knew it really wasn't his business. The thought caused a searing pain in his chest, but he swallowed it down and got behind the wheel. Maybe driving would take his mind off of things - namely, the jealousy gnawing at him insistently.

He really doubted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay folks. Hope this chapter makes up for it.

He wasn’t obsessing.

That would require him thinking. About things.

And he wasn’t.

So he’d been a little distracted at work recently. Perhaps his garden was feeling a bit neglected without his usually pointed focus. And okay, maybe he’d spent countless hours each night waiting for sleep, his mind repeatedly wandering to images he was better able to avoid in the light of day. His mind’s eye flitting to Dean and Benny, wrapped in each other’s arms on the omega's old couch. Kissing each other on the porch. Ripping off each other’s clothes on their way to the bedroom and…

Nothing ever came after that. He’d always break something or throw up first.

At least his running was going better than ever. Nothing like blind rage to push you forward.

A week of this and things had been terse when Dean dropped Mary off despite Castiel’s best efforts at seeming normal. The omega had been distant and drawn, barely taking in Castiel’s strained smile before saying goodbye to their daughter and walking off. A few hours of coloring and playing outside with Mary was one of the better ways to soothe Castiel's inner alpha, and he felt himself more relaxed than he’d been in days. Any benefits quickly vanished, however, when Dean returned, slightly happier than before with that same foreign scent clinging to him. Now that Castiel could finally identify it, the itch at his nose was a lot more prominent.

Sure, the thoughts of them together _physically_  hurt, but seeing Dean happy with someone else? That was the real knife to the heart.

Thank god he had a project to distract himself with – mainly, setting up a room for Mary. After his talk with Dean they’d agree she should start spending the weekends at his place before school started so she could get used to the change. The omega had left it up to him to set it up as he pleased, only stressing to make sure it was child-safe and not to go too overboard. So Castiel had gotten a small twin size bed and matching dresser, plus sheets with Mary’s favorite princess on them. Eventually he’d painted the room a light green, adding a rabbit trim he'd found online to the walls. After that he’d really only added a simple plush rug and a side table with the cutest balloon animal light. And okay, maybe he’d seen a giant stuffed giraffe in a toy store downtown and couldn’t help himself. And then there’d been that adorable Victorian doll house and the little toy doctor set, and well, she should have things to play with when she visited, right?

By the time two weeks had passed he felt it was finished enough – after all, Mary hadn’t seen it yet and she may want something he’d forgotten, or worse yet, might hate it entirely. So he’d hesitantly texted Dean, asking if he could show him and Mary what he’d come up with that next Saturday before trying a weekend over. When the omega responded with one word – ‘ok’ – Castiel felt nervous, but swallowed it down.

That Saturday when Dean came to drop Mary off, the alpha opened the door with the same strained smile. If Dean noticed he didn't show it, barely glancing at him before looking away. Fortunately, Mary seemed immune to any awkwardness.

“Hey you two. Come on in.”

“Daddy too?”

“That's right. I’ve got a surprise for you, and daddy wants to see it too.” The little girls face lit up at that, excitement visible in the way she began bouncing on her feet.

“What’s the surprise?”

“Why don’t I show you – here, follow me.” He glanced over at Dean for confirmation this was okay, and with a small nod in return he set off. 

They quickly made their way up the stairs, stopping at the door to the second bedroom. Castiel cleared his throat, suddenly much more nervous.

“Alright, here it is.” He opened the door, glad natural light was floating in from the window overlooking his garden. Mary seemed frozen for a moment before rushing into the room.

“Woah.” She drew out the syllable as she looked around, eyes landing on the giraffe. She ran towards it before throwing her arms around it.

“This is so cool! Look at this!” her attention was quickly diverted by the dollhouse, and Castiel couldn’t help feeling relieved as she ran around the room in excitement.

“Is this for me?”

“Yes. We thought you should have a room at my place too, in case you wanted to spend more time here.“

“Boy would I! This is ten times better than my room at home.”

The words had Castiel freezing, eyes flitting over to glance at the omega beside him who’d remained silent this whole time. One look at the clench of his jaw and Castiel knew he’d screwed up. Again.

“Dean, is this –“

“I gotta get going. Mary, sweetheart, I’ll see you tonight, okay?” He got a quick ‘okay’ in return, and with one last glance at his daughter Dean whirled around and out the door. Castiel meekly turned around, every instinct telling him to go after the omega, but he had Mary to watch. So instead he went to the doorway, watching her discover every nook and cranny of her new room.

* * *

He’d spent the rest of the day playing with Mary and her new toys, glad the girl seemed so taken with everything. Nevertheless, an undercurrent of anxiety lined his stomach. When Dean came to pick her up and refused to even look at him, the feeling of dread grew. Something was wrong, and knowing Dean he wouldn't want to talk about it. Castiel figured he'd leave it alone and wait to see if the omega brought anything up, but that plan was dashed later that same evening when Sam Winchester's name popped up on his phone. Worried something might've happened to Dean or Mary, he quickly answered.

“Hello? Sam?”

“What the hell did you do?”

Well. He sounded more angry than anything. Maybe not an emergency.

“Um, what are you –“

“Why is my brother sitting on the back porch with a six pack, refusing to talk?”

“I don’t…”

“He’s been moping the past two weeks, ever since you saw him with Benny. What did you do?”

“I didn’t –

"What. Did. You. Do."

"Look, I was as amicable as I could be when I saw them at that barbecue. Nothing happened. Nothing's happened since then. He's dropped Mary off and picked her up these past two Saturday's. Today he saw the room I prepared for Mary at my place. That's it.”

There was a moment of silence between them, Sam apparently mulling over his words.

“Look. I don’t care what the problem is. Mary has been put to bed. I’m gonna be inside working on a brief. The back gate is unlocked. Come over here and fix it.”

With that he hung up, leaving no room for argument. Castiel stood there a moment, wondering what, if anything, he should do. Dean didn’t like to be pushed, only opened up when he felt like it - but Castiel had a feeling this concerned their daughter, and that meant they needed to sort it out for her sake. So he found himself getting into his car and making the short drive over, fingers tapping distractedly against the steering wheel. Sure enough when he got there the back gate was unlocked, Dean sitting on the porch steps and three beers into a six pack. Not good.

Wordlessly he walked over, pausing and waiting for Dean to acknowledge his presence. When the omega kept staring straight ahead, he silently sat down next to him and waited for a reaction. The minutes passed by, Castiel trying to decide if he should break the silence; luckily Dean made the decision for him.

“My dad was a jackass, right?”

Castiel started. He hadn’t expected Dean to dive straight into talking about his father, but he guessed that was a good sign.

“From what you’ve told me, I would say so.”

“Yeah. Real piece of work. Funny how he still knew what he was talking about.”

“How so?”

The omega didn’t respond, instead staring straight ahead and taking a long pull of beer. Castiel figured this might take awhile, so he grabbed a beer for himself and popped it open.

“The room I prepared for Mary. It upset you.”

“’Course not. It was a great room.”

“Dean.” He looked at him imploringly, but the omega still wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Dean, I know when you’re upset.”

“You know, huh? Because you know me so well.”

And yeah, looked like Dean still deflected. Castiel wasn't about to be deterred.

“We may not be as close anymore, Dean, but I know _you_. I know how you bite your lips when you’re nervous about something, the spring in your step when you’re happy, the way your fingers fiddle with whatever’s around when you’re deep in thought. And most importantly, I know that tight lipped frown and pinched look on your forehead. So please. Tell me what’s wrong. If this has to do with Mary, I have a right to know. We need to be able to talk about these kinds of things.”

The omega looked down at the grass, seemingly lost in thought.  Eventually he put his beer bottle down, which Castiel took as a good sign.

“I’m sorry. I’m really trying to be fair here, I am. But I see you with Mary, and you’re so good with her. And you put together this room for her, without my help, and she loves it. A room with all these toys I could never afford to give her. And I know I should be happy that you’re trying to be a good dad and giving her all these things, because I want the best for her I do, but I…”

He trailed off, looking into the distance.

“You…” Castiel prompted, noting that sure enough, the omega was biting his lip.

“I don’t want to lose her, okay?”

It took him a moment to process what the other man had said, the words not what he'd expected.

“Dean, why would you lose her?”

“Why? Because she realizes she has this whole other dad out there who can provide for her better than I can. You heard her. The room at your place is ‘ten times better’ than her one at home. Hell, why do you think I told you not to go overboard? Sure, part of it is I don’t want her to get spoiled, but another part of me just wants an even playing field.”

“An even…Dean, this isn’t a competition.”

“That’s easier to say when you’re not the one who gets left behind.”

Unlike before, it was clear the omega wasn't just deflecting. And didn't that just drive pain through his heart. Castiel took a deep breath, processing.

“Dean, Mary isn’t leaving you behind. I mean, she’s a kid. She gets excited about new toys, sure. But she’ll grow bored of them. Grow out of them. Do you know what she won’t grow out of? You." At the unswayed look on the omega's face, Castiel forged on. "She’s always talking about you. Even today, when she was playing with those new toys, you know what she kept saying? ‘Daddy and I saw giraffes at the zoo once.’ ‘Daddy took me to the doctor last week.’ Dean, she loves you. There is no one more important in her life.”

“Just give it time." The omega said tonelessly, swirling the beer in his hand. "She’ll grow up. Realize I’m not all I’m cracked up to be.”

“Not all your cracked up to be? You’re her dad. Her father who raised her and supported her and loved her unconditionally. Kids are supposed to love their dads."

“Wasn’t I supposed to be the love of your life? Look how that turned out.”

The omega picked up his beer at that, emptying the bottle in two long swigs.

“Dean.” He intoned, not even knowing where to begin. The omega scoffed, reaching for the second-to-last beer.

“Didn’t even react. Nothing. Not a glare. Not a growl. You fucking smiled and shook his hand.”

Castiel furrowed his brow in confusion, struggling to catch up.

“First time I met Meg, I wanted to rip her head off. But you? No. My true mate doesn’t give a shit what I do.”

“Dean…is this about –"

“My dad was right. I mean, sometimes people leave their true mates, sure, it happens. But to have your true mate not even care when they see you with someone else, I mean…what kind of useless, underwhelming human being do you have to be that not even your true mate...”

"Dean -"

“I can’t even be mad at you. I mean what, you didn’t want me? That’s not your fault. Hell, my dad wanted to leave. Sam wanted to leave too, get a better life in California. It’s just a matter of time until Mary follows suit.”

“Dean. Stop.”

His voice had come out harsher than he intended, but Dean did stop, tight-lipped frown gracing his face. Castiel waited a moment, half expecting some sort of backlash, but when Dean remained silent he let himself relax minutely. Okay, what now? He put his head in his hands, too many thoughts swirling through his mind for him to think clearly. Eventually he settled on a starting point.

“Listen to me. When I saw you at that barbecue with Benny, I wanted to rip his throat out. If Ellen hadn’t distracted me and dragged me inside, I honestly just might have. I spent two hours trying to pull myself together, throwing up in Samandriel’s laundry room and feeling like I was going to die. It was only the thought of what I’d already put you through that got me to take Ellen’s advice and try to be supportive.”

He shook his head, mind clearing. He'd been so focused on trying to do what everyone else said was the right thing...

“Ellen, Sam, everyone keeps telling me I need to distance myself from you. Be supportive of the fact you've moved on. And I’ve been trying to. But maybe you need to hear something else first.”

Knowing this was a risk, that he may upset Dean even more than he had already, he slowly made his way in front of the omega, kneeling down on the grass. Well, here goes nothing.

“I tried to smile and shake Benny’s hand, but I barely held it together. Because while I want you to be happy, and know you’ve moved on and that that happiness isn’t with me anymore, every cell in my body wants to drag you down into the grass and claim you. Because you are…the most loyal, selfless, caring person I have ever met. You are sexy and stubborn and you challenge those around you to do what's right. You tell corny jokes and pretend to only drink black coffee though I know you hide tea in the back of your cabinet. You have the greenest eyes I have ever seen and you smell like home. You are…everything.”

Finally Dean was looking at him, though his expression was unreadable. Still, Castiel knew there was five years of pain behind that mask, and he needed to set the record straight.

“Yes I left, but don’t for a minute think it was because you weren’t enough. _I_ wasn’t enough. I didn’t have the courage to stray from the path my parents set for me, to go after what would really make me happy. I kept thinking that New York was what I’d been working for my entire life, was what my entire family expected from me, that I couldn't just abandon it, them, after all the time and energy I'd put into that life. Make no mistake Dean, I left in spite of how madly I was in love with you.”

That unreadable expression had slowly slipped, the same sadness Castiel noticed Dean hiding a lot around him seeping into his eyes. Feeling emboldened, he reached out, grasping the omega's hands in his own.

“So please. Hate me for leaving. Hate me for the cowardly way I did it. But don’t hate yourself. Your father was a jackass. Sam loves you, and Mary does too. You're not going to lose her.”

They sat there, hands intertwined as they stared at the other. For the first time in a long time Castiel felt like he was really connecting with the other man, like they were having an honest conversation. He didn't realize how much he missed the feeling until that moment.

With crickets the only soundtrack to the fading evening, Castiel couldn't say how long they sat there; it must have been only a few minutes, though it felt much longer to the alpha. Still, when Dean pulled his hands away he tried to fight back disappointment. 

"I should head back inside."

Castiel didn't know what he'd been expecting, but his heart ached a bit knowing that was the omega's only response. Still, he simply nodded, rising slowly as Dean did the same. He brushed away dirt, awkwardly looking around as Dean gathered up the empty beer bottles.

"Listen, why don't you try having Mary spend the night next weekend."

"I...sure...that would be great." 

With a nod, Dean turned and walked back into the house. Castiel watched him until he was out of sight, before turning and heading back to his car.

* * *

"Dean?"

"Cas? What's wrong?"

"Dean, it's Mary...she won't stop crying for you."

That Saturday had started similarly to any other, Dean dropping Mary off in the morning but this time with an overnight bag. They'd spent part of the day out in the garden, the other half playing in Mary's new room again. But when evening rolled around and Mary was still there, Castiel noticed she seemed to get quieter. He'd tried to distract her by having them watch _Moana_ together, her latest obsession, but when the movie was over and he ushered her off to brush her teeth and go to bed, she seemed to deflate once more. When he'd gone to her room to tuck her in, he was devastated to find her crying.

_"I want to go home."_

_"You want to go home? Why pumpkin, what's wrong?"_

_"I want daddy."_

Her crying had intensified at that, and Castiel, not knowing what else to do, immediately called Dean. 

"She says she wants to go home."

"Okay, it's normal for her to feel homesick her first night away. It's best to wait it out."

And while he knew Dean was right, that all the parenting books said the same thing, with his daughter right beside him tearfully asking if daddy was coming get her, Castiel knew he couldn't just wait it out.

"Dean, she's begging for you. Could you just...I can drive her back to your place if you -"

"No, no Cas, just - here, I'm heading over."

They'd hung up, Castiel trying to soothe their daughter until there was a knock at the door ten minutes later. Cas and Mary headed down the stairs, opening it to reveal Dean.

"Daddy!" Mary shouted as she jumped into his arms. Dean lifted her up easily, cooing nonsense at her as she held onto him tightly. Castiel stood back, feeling like he was intruding on the moment.

"Can we go home?" She sniffled, and Castiel had to wonder how Dean stayed so composed when their pup was clearly distressed.

"No honey, you're spending the night at your alpha daddy's place. You love your new room, remember?"

"I want my old room." The omega's eyes flitted to Castiel's for a moment, a knowing, somewhat humorous acknowledgment in them, before turning back to his daughter.

"Here, how about this - what if I stay with you in your new room tonight, hmm? So it doesn't seem so new and scary."

"Yeah!" the girl immediately brightened up, Dean only then looking up at Cas for confirmation that was okay. The alpha nodded, gesturing Dean to follow him up the stairs as Mary clung to him. He stood in the doorway as Dean entered the room and put their daughter down, crawling into the twin-size bed and letting Mary crawl in after. Interrupting the moment only to ask if they needed anything, Castiel left at Dean's assurance that they would be fine. Sure, his first night having Mary hadn't gone as well as he'd hoped, but seeing the small smile on Dean's face as he shut the door made up for it more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update. School is starting back up again and it takes up a lot of time, not to mention I just adopted a very naughty cat. Hope this chapter makes up for at least a bit of it.

Castiel pulled into the first parking spot he could find at the Lawrence mall, fingers tapping against the steering wheel as he put his car in park. It was the first week of August, which apparently meant the right time to go school supply shopping. His parents had never taken him growing up, whatever he needed magically appearing in his backpack the beginning of each year, so he didn't really know. Nevertheless, Dean had said he was still welcome to come, giving him instructions to meet at some department store. Castiel was excited of course, but he couldn't deny he was a bit nervous about spending all day with both Dean and Mary.

Things had been less tense since that night on the porch, though not exactly warm either. Castiel didn’t know what he expected from Dean after his little speech, but he guessed the omega was working things out on his own. The least he could do was give him space.

Stepping out of the car, he walked slowly toward the store Dean had said to meet in. Once inside, he felt overwhelmed by all the people rushing about, nervous that he might miss the ones he was there to meet. He only had to worry for a moment though before he heard his name called.

“Cas! Over here!”

He turned to see Dean and Mary walking towards him, the girl practically bouncing in excitement as she ran up and wrapped her arms around his legs in greeting. Castiel ruffled her hair with a smile, looking up to find the omega had reached them. 

"How are you, Dean?"

"Fine, fine. You?"

"I'm well, thank you."

There was an awkward silence as they stood there, Mary looking up between them curiously. Castiel cursed himself internally, wishing for words that continued to evade him. Fortunately Dean broke the silence.

“So um, I got the school supplies list right here," he said, removing a folded up piece of paper from his pocket. "Why don’t we head over to the back to school section?”

“Yes, sounds good. Shall I grab a cart?”

“Yeah!” Mary interjected, running toward the line of carts near the entrance. Castiel glanced back at Dean, who quirked a half smile and nodded at their daughter.

“Go on.”

That was all the cue the alpha needed, hurrying off after Mary who'd already selected a cart. As Castiel took hold of the handle and began to push, the girl hopped onto the front, feet placed on the bottom rack and hands gripping the basket. Fearing it wasn’t safe Castiel quickly turned to Dean, but the omega didn’t look phased. Deciding to try and go with the flow, Castiel instead dutifully pushed the cart back toward him. The omega waited patiently, smile still somewhat strained but not quite like before. Castiel would consider that progress. 

“Alright, school supplies should be this way.”

They made their way to the back right-hand corner of the store, eventually finding a large sign that read "Back to School." When they turned a corner and came face to face with the store's displays, Castiel was a bit taken aback. It was like a colorful explosion of notebooks and papers and art tools; he had no idea there were so many options all in one place. Mary seemed equally awed by it all, staring with wide eyes as Castiel pushed the cart forward until they reahced the first display. Seemingly coming out of a trance, the girl jumped off the cart, immediately running up to the nearest shelf of colored pencils. Castiel chuckled to himself, partly in wonder, while Dean unfolded the paper he’d shown him before.

“Well, colored pencils are on the list.” They both followed the girl, peering over her shoulder as she gravitated to the biggest box on the display.

“It says here you only need a twelve pack, Mary.”

“But daddy, look at all the colors!” She pointed emphatically, as if he simply hadn't noticed the intense rainbow on display.

“I see them sweetheart, but we don’t need all of them, okay? The twelve pack is enough.”

She pouted up at him, holding the chosen box against her chest.

“But daddy, this one is better.”

“It’s too expensive, Mary.”

The girl's pout only seemed to intensify, but she didn't put an argument - in fact, she silently turned around and put down the pencils she wanted before putting the twelve pack into the cart. A tantrum Castiel could've handled, but her easy acceptance and resigned disappointment? It tugged on his heartstrings. Pulling Dean slightly to the side, he started a hushed conversation.

“Dean, if you would just let me contribute –"

“Cas, we’ve already had this conversation."

“No, _you_ had this conversation. I don’t see what’s so wrong with me contributing to our daughter’s education.”

“Cas.”

"I'm just trying to step up and take responsibility as a parent, help support my child. Why should you be the only one who pays for everything?"

The omega simply stared at him, expression guarded but without the hardened look Castiel was expecting. 

“Come on, all she wants is the big pack of colored pencils. Look at how sad she was!”

“Dude, you are already such a pushover.”

Despite the exasperation in the omega’s voice, Castiel could tell there was no heat behind the words. Hope flickered inside of him, sensing that Dean might actually be close to giving in. He decided to go a little over the top.

“Dean, please.”

He gave him his best pleading eyes, adding a fake pout to match his daughter's in the process. Dean snorted before throwing his arms up, rolling his eyes as he turned around. He walked back over to Mary, making a show of removing the twelve pack and adding the one she wanted to the cart.

“Here sweetheart, we’re gonna get this one after all.”

The change in Mary was immediate, her sullen pout turned to a beaming smile in a heartbeat.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Now come on, we need to get crayons as well.” He looked over his shoulder, beckoning at Castiel to follow. The alpha couldn't believe how easily Dean had acquiesced, his usual wall of stubbornness absent. Maybe they were really making progress after all - toward what he wasn't sure, but it felt better than before. Trying not to look too gleeful, the alpha dutifully pushed the cart behind them as Dean directed their daughter to various items on the list. Sometimes they would stop and indulge her as she looked at some other colorful distraction, though Dean eventually shepherded her away to keep them on track. 

“Dean,” he called, grabbing the omega’s attention as Mary flipped through various packs of stickers. “Does Mary need something like this?” He held up a nice looking agenda, which the omega regarded with an arched brow.

“Cas, what would she need a planner for? She can’t even read or write. Not to mention she doesn’t have a schedule to plan for. We’re the planners.”

“Oh,” was all he said in response, cheeks darkening as he realized just how foolish he was being. He quickly put the agenda back, resolutely looking elsewhere.

“Hey.” Dean approached, before nudging his shoulder with his own. “Why don’t you take Mary to get a few folders. I’ll go find the rest of the more boring stuff on this list, hmm?”

Castiel blinked, surprised at the gesture. Still, he nodded. “Sure. I’ll come find you when we’re done.”

“Great, thanks Cas.” With that the omega grabbed the cart before calling over to Mary.

“Mary, alpha daddy is going to take you to get some folders, alright?”

She barely paid attention to them as she leafed through a bin of pencil sharpeners, only looking up as Castiel placed a hand on her head to guide her.

“This way, honey.”

She went along easily with the carefree attitude only children possessed, easily as impressed with one display as the other. As soon as they turned down the right aisle and were greeted with a wall of colorful pictures and designs, Mary was once again enthralled. Castiel merely stood and watched as she went through the shelves, picking out the folders she liked and placing them in his hands. By the time she had finished going through them, Castiel was holding what must have been ten to fifteen folders. At this point, Dean must be halfway done.

“Alright, now why don’t you pick your top five favorite folders, hmm?”

“Only five?”

“That’s right honey, your five most favorite.”

Any disappointment was quickly replaced by a look of intense concentration as she peered through the folders in Castiel’s hands. Slowly she began putting back the one's she didn’t want, her brow furrowed as she went over her options. With a last exaggerated ‘hmm,’ she cast aside a folder featuring a colorful bird and was left with only five.

“There.”

Castiel took a look at what she'd chosen, a conglomeration of flowers, a rocket ship, unicorns, kittens, and some bunnies. He held up the last one solemnly.

“This one was my favorite too.” Mary nodded back just as seriously, looking at the folder before a smile erupted over her face.

“Can we go to the pet store after this?”

“Pet store?”

“There’s one in the mall.”

“Oh. Well let’s ask your omega daddy first, okay?” He knew Dean was never a big fan of dogs, and well, he sneezed up a storm anytime he was close to a cat. But maybe they could stop by for five minutes. Who knows, maybe Dean needed to run some errands and would let him take Mary for a few minutes.

When they got back to the omega he was practically done with the rest of the list, the only items left on their agenda a back pack and lunch box. Mary eagerly showed him the folders she picked out, which Dean made a show of admiring before putting into the cart. Seeing the animal themed ones prompted Mary to bring up the pet store again, and while Dean seemed less than enthused, he gave into her pleas.

“Okay, okay, why don’t we go pick out a lunch box first. Then we’ll visit the pet store later.”

Mary nodded eagerly before running off in the direction of the lunch boxes, Dean quickly pushing the cart after her with a shout of "Don’t run in the store!" Castiel found himself jogging to keep up. Eventually he stood beside Dean as they watched Mary look through the lunch boxes, the omega double checking his list.

“I already checked out the back packs here, but they don’t look very durable. I was thinking maybe we should head over to Sothington's to find something that will last her awhile.”

“Sounds good to me.”

When Mary finally picked out a lunch box they headed over to check out, splitting the bill between them with only minor reluctance from Dean. After quickly jogging out to the parking lot to drop off their bags, they headed back into the mall, finding Sothington's and eventually a display of backpacks in the middle of the store. Mary seemed to consider each in turn, making her way around the options with a furrowed brow and a tilted head. Dean once again nudged the alpha's arm.

“Look familiar?”

When Castiel glanced at him in confusion, he simply chuckled to himself and went back to watching their daughter. Eventually the girl stopped with a huff.

“Daddy, I can’t decide.”

“Hmm? Well which ones are your favorites?” She chewed her lip as she looked over the bags, walking around until she pointed out three she’d liked. Dean nodded, crouching down to look at the last one.

“Well, this one doesn’t have a front pocket like the other two, which means less space. Why don’t we look at the other ones.” He walked back around, grabbing one of each and then holding them up in front of her. “Look, this blue one would match your eyes.” When she still stared, unsure, he decided to take a different approach, standing behind Mary and moving to hold one backpack on each side of her.

“What do you think Cas? Blue or yellow?”

The alpha blinked, knowing it wasn't a big deal but the magnitude of really, truly being involved hitting him at that moment. Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he made a show of inspecting the bags closer, stopping at the blue.

“Look honey, it’s got a turtle on it.” He pointed to the logo. “Doesn’t that seem like a sign?” With that she was nodding her head, slowly looking more confident as she took the blue backpack into her hands. Dean placed the yellow one down, moving to grip Mary’s shoulders.

“So is this one it? The blue backpack?”

“Yeah.” Mary said, looking solemnly between the bag and her father.

“Great! Let’s go check out and then we can head over to the pet store, okay?”

“Yeah!” With Mary excited again they quickly made their way to check out, this time when finished heading directly to the pet store. Mary was practically vibrating as they approached, barely holding herself back from running over. Once they stepped through the door her restraint ended, the child immediately running over to a pen of puppies and staring in excitedly. Dean took the opportunity to grab Castiel's elbow, holding him back for a moment.

“Listen. We need to be a united front here. I already told her she can’t have a pet until she’s older, so no caving. Got it?”

“Alright, Dean.”

With a brief nod he walked forward, looking in at the puppy pen as well. A shop attendant quickly came over, letting Dean and Mary step into the pen and pet the dogs. Castiel opted to stay out due to space concerns, though he stood by and watched as Mary squatted down and shrieked in delight as puppies began to jump on her and lick her face. It was quite possibly the most adorable thing he had ever seen, and he could tell the rush of affection he felt was shared by Dean in the brief moment they made eye contact through their grinning.

Eventually they dragged Mary out of the puppy pen and moved around the store, looking at the birds and a few lizards before finding a display filled with bunnies. Another sales attendant came by, this time crouching down and explaining to Mary that bunnies were anxious animals and needed people to be very gentle with them. She nodded solemnly at the words, letting Dean lift her up and watch her closely as she slowly reached down to pet one of the rabbits. When she finally made contact, Castiel marveled at how slowly and carefully she pet along its back, clearly taking the task seriously. She studiously gave each rabbit the same amount of attention, only stopping when Dean decided it was time to put her down. Even then, she still wanted to stay and observe them through the glass walls of their enclosure. Castiel stood by watching the rabbits as well, but eventually found his eyes wandering over the store, catching on to a wall of cats stuck in kennels. One area had a large sign advertising their partnership with a local shelter, where Castiel wandered closer to. An orange tabby around eye level began sticking its paws out of the kennel at him, causing Castiel to pause and read the little bio attached. Apparently the cat, dubbed “Mr. Whiskers,” was a ten year old brought to the shelter after his old owner died. He’d been there for a few months now and was still awaiting adoption. Castiel knew it was stupid, but thinking of the poor cat who had lost his family and was without a home had his throat tightening.

“Do you wanna hold him?” Castiel jolted as one of the sales attendants came by, apparently noting his interest. “Well, um –“ before he could object, she was already opening the kennel. “Here.” The cat was standing at the edge of the enclosure, looking at him expectantly, so Castiel tentatively reached in and pet him. Purring started immediately, the cat rubbing his face along his arm in affection.

“If you don’t mind my asking, why hasn’t he been adopted yet? He seems very sweet.”

“Oh, it’s probably because of his age. Most older cats have trouble getting adopted.”

“Huh.” He said, never ceasing in his petting. His thoughts were interrupted by a pulling at his leg.

“Daddy, can I pet the kitty?”

He looked down to see Mary had wandered over, a quick glance over his shoulder showing Dean standing back away from the cats.

“Sure, honey.” He lifted her up so she was level with the animal, giving her a quick reminder to be gentle before she reached out to pet him as well. Much to his relief this one seemed to like children, taking to Mary just as quickly as he had to Castiel.

“Daddy, can we please, please…”

“Mary, I know your omega daddy already told you no pets ‘til you’re older. You’ll just have to wait.” She seemed displeased but couldn’t be too upset with the cat currently purring and rubbing against her hand. When he heard Dean begin to sneeze behind them, however, he reluctantly turned around, thanking the sales attendant with a sheepish smile before walking back over to Dean.

“Ready to go?” He asked, trying to seem nonchalant though he could see the omega's eyes were starting to look red, another side effect of his allergies.

“Sure. You ready Mary?”

“I guess…” the girl pouted, turning around to take one last look at the animals.

They headed out despite her reluctance, walking through the mall back towards the doors they’d entered through. Ever with a short attention span, Mary stopped at the sight of an ice cream shop, tugging again at their pants as she looked up in excitement.

“Can we get ice cream? Please, daddy?”

Castiel could see Dean looked unsure, whether about money or the alpha being there he couldn't tell. There was a long pause as the omega seemed to search for an answer, one that prompted Castiel to take the wheel for once. Dean didn't exactly look opposed, and Castiel wasn't looking forward to going back to his empty apartment...

“Why not. My treat.” He gazed up at Dean as he said it just to make sure he hadn't crossed a line, relieved to see the omega wasn't upset. If anything, he looked a bit surprised, but recovered quickly.

“Alright, I guess I could use some ice cream after the ordeal I went through today. I didn’t know if I was gonna make it in that pet store.”

He began walking toward the ice cream shop, Mary following with a giggle.

“You were fine, daddy.”

“I don’t know, with all the sneezing and my itchy eyes…a few more minutes and I could’ve been a goner.”

He continued to dramatically lament for their daughter, only pausing to help her order and continuing as soon as they sat down at a table. Mary hung on to every word, giggling while also somehow managing to drip ice cream everywhere. None of it phased the omega, who was ready with a napkin and a joke, even including Castiel from time to time. It all felt so effortless, so much like a real family, he almost forgot they weren’t. So when they finished and it was really time to go back to his empty apartment, it felt like a crushing wave of disappointment. Still, he smiled for their daughter.

“Make sure to thank your alpha daddy for the ice cream, Mary.”

“Thank you daddy!” she said, hugging him around the legs for the second time that day. “This was the best day ever! Can we do this every year?”

Castiel looked up at Dean at that, noting the sudden shift of his smile from genuine to tight lipped. Alright, so he didn’t quite trust him yet. The alpha would earn that.

“Sounds like the start of a great tradition.” He said, smiling down at Mary warmly. She beamed back up at him, though Dean seemed ready to go.

“Alright, alright. We’re parked this way. You’re heading this way too, right Cas?

“Actually, I think I’m gonna run back and get something while I’m here. But you guys go ahead. I’ll see you Saturday."

He received an odd look and a nod from Dean, a “bye daddy!” from Mary as they walked back towards the parking lot. Castiel turned, thoughtful. He had an idea for how he could feel less lonely while they were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know it's been awhile. This past semester was tough, but I'm officially on break and will hopefully post a lot more writing. Many thanks to those who have kept up with this fic.
> 
> This chapter probably needs more polishing, but it is 1:30 in the morning and idgf. All mistakes are my own.

Okay, so he knew Dean wouldn’t be happy about the cat. Hell, he even thought they may have a small fight, at worst. What he wasn’t expecting was for the omega to stop talking to him for _three weeks_.

Castiel had figured he should give Dean advanced notice of his new pet, eventually settling on sending a text message with a picture attached of Mr. Whiskers. He hadn’t expected Dean to answer right away—the man was busy after all—but when he checked back two hours later and saw the message marked as read half an hour earlier, he felt the first wisps of trepidation slowly forming in his stomach. He barely had a moment to process the feeling when an incoming call from the omega flashed across the screen.

“Dean?” He asked, voice tentative as he waited for an indication of whether the man was angry or not.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Well, that answered that.

“Dean, I know –“

“This is a joke, right?”

Despite the calmness of his voice, Dean's tone was tinged with chiding disappointment. A harbinger of the direction this conversation was going, Castiel mused to himself. He felt his throat go a little dry, pausing for a moment before answering.

“No.”

“After I told you ‘no pets.’ After you agreed we would approach this as a team.”

“Dean, the cat is not for Mary. It’s for me.”

“Yeah, of course. I’m sure our four-year-old daughter will think of it that way.”

“Well I will make it clear to her –“

“Because that will make a big difference.”

“Dean, please. If you would just listen –“

“No, I will not ‘listen’—I’m sick and tired of the excuses. It’s always the same with you Cas; I don’t know why I expected something different.”

Castiel’s lips settled in a thin line at the acrid tone of the omega’s voice.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Dean ignored the question, gaining steam as he soldiered on.

“You just had to get a cat too, didn’t you? Out of all the animals you could’ve gotten, a dog, a fish, hell, a rabbit, you had to get the one I’m allergic to. Did you even think of what that would be like for me, picking up up our daughter after she spent the weekend getting covered in cat hair?”

“We both know your allergy is mild at worst. If you’re that concerned you can pop a Zyrtec the morning you pick her up.”

“That’s not the point!”

“Then what is the point Dean? What, that I chose to do something for myself? Something that might be slightly inconvenient for you? Do I have to consult you before making all my life choices now?”

“Don’t you try to twist this around.”

“I’m not twisting anything around, Dean. I have done everything you’ve asked. I’ve followed your lead with Mary, given you space. But I lost everything when I came back here. All I have are the two days out of the week I get with Mary, and the rest of my time is spent alone. Is it so bad that I wanted a companion for all the time in between?”

Silence followed, leaving Castiel with bated breath as he waited for Dean’s response. When none came, he decided to try again.

“Dean, I –“

His thought was cut off with a blip, a quick glance at his phone enough to confirm the omega had hung up on him.

Well.

He half expected the man to call him back, but a week went by with complete radio silence. In fact, it was a relief to get a knock on his door Saturday morning, the alpha unsure if Dean would still even drop Mary off. But of course she was there at their normal time, the omega wordlessly bringing her to the door and retreating. Three weeks went by with more of the same, and Castiel began to wonder if he had seriously underestimated Dean’s anger.

Of course, Mary loved the cat.

Her energy was palpable when he’d opened the door, the cat immediately within sight from his position lounging on the couch. Noticing a new visitor, he quickly sat up and padded over, sniffing curiously before winding himself around Mary's legs. Castiel reminded the girl to be gentle, watching carefully as she bent down to pet the cat with the same focus as she had at the pet store. While Mr. Whiskers of coursed basked in the attention at first, Castiel had to pull the girl away periodically to give him a break. The alpha had a feeling Mary could spend all day just playing with the cat.

And of course, when the weekend was over Castiel had a companion who would curl up in his lap as he read or watched the evening news. Who would laze in the sun near him as he gardened. And while maybe not enough to fill the Mary-sized hole in his heart, it definitely helped.

Still, the continued silence from Dean probably needed to be addressed. No matter how things were going with the omega he wouldn't let it get in the way of his relationship with Mary, and her first day of school was coming up if he remembered correctly. So when Dean came to pick Mary up that Sunday evening, he braced himself.

“Dean?”

The omega at least stopped, ushering Mary to continue to the car before turning to face him. The man raised a brow expectantly.

“Tomorrow is her first day of school, isn’t it? That’s what you’d said?”

At that Dean looked down, kicking at some dirt on the walkway.

“Yeah.”

It was the first word the omega had spoken to him in weeks, the ire Castiel had expected lacking. Silence stretched between them as the alpha, unsure, considered how to approach the situation. Fortunately, Dean decided to take charge.

“Why don’t you come over around 7:00am. You can ride with us to the school, see her off, all that.”

Castiel was relieved Dean had offered and he hadn’t had to fight for the opportunity. A traitorous voice at the back of his head frequently whispered that Dean could always change his mind, could decide that Castiel shouldn't be in their daughters life after all. But the more rational part of the alpha could see the fear of such was unnecessary. Even when they were at each other’s throats, the omega was putting Mary first.

“Thank you.”

If he'd hoped Dean's willingness to include him was a sign the freeze out was over, that was quickly dashed when Dean merely grunted before walking away.

* * *

Castiel pulled up in front of the Winchester place at 6:50am, nervously fiddling with the radio as he wasted the last few minutes before he was expected. Eventually deciding it was close enough to 7:00am, he got out of his car, making his way to the house and knocking tentatively.

The door was pulled open by Dean, who gave a vague come in gesture before walking back towards the kitchen. Castiel followed, unsurprised to see Sam talking animatedly with Mary about whether she was excited for her first day of school. The girl was thrumming with her usual current of energy, somehow impossibly amplified, as she ate from a bowl of cereal.

“Hey sweetheart, look who’s here to see you off on your first day of school.” The girl turned at Dean's voice, face lighting up at the sight of Castiel.

“Daddy!”

He smiled in return, giving her a pat on the head while moving toward the empty seat at the table. Before he managed to sit Mary was already launching into an account of her morning so far, up to and including the conversation she was having with Sam moments before, cereal long forgotten. Her happy babbling went on until Dean distracted her with a ruffle to her hair. 

“Come on now, finish your breakfast so we can make sure you have everything you need before we head out.”

Pouting slightly, she moved to finish what was left in her bowl with the gusto only a child could muster. Castiel, meanwhile, looked determinately at anything besides the other alpha in the room, ignoring the eyes boring into him from across the table. Dean seemed to notice the tension, stopping whatever he was doing in the kitchen and turning to face them.

“Don’t you need to be at work soon, Sam?” he asked pointedly, raising a brow at his brother. The alpha shot him the stink eye, a short conversation passing silently between them before he eventually huffed and stood up.

“Have a great first day of school, Mary. I can’t wait to hear about how it goes later tonight.” The girl beamed at him through a mouth full of cereal, and Sam patted her on the shoulder before grabbing a messenger bag and leaving the room. Castiel felt himself visibly relax at the sound of the front door closing.

Soon he and the omega were going through Mary’s backpack, making sure she had everything she needed before ushering her to the car. Dean gestured for Castiel to get in the impala as he got Mary settled in the back; the alpha easily acquiesced, a variety of memories rushing back to him as he slid onto the familiar bench seat. He quickly brushed them away as the omega got behind the wheel, starting the car and getting them on their way. Mary chattered eagerly during the ride, asking random questions about what to expect. Meanwhile, Dean was in fine form, easy smile and teasing answers pulling giggles from the girl. Despite his apparent ease, Castiel could see his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.

They arrived at the school way too quickly, pulling into an open space a bit away from the mass of kids and parents congregating near the entrance. Mary was eagerly trying to unbuckle herself while Dean muttered a “settle down, settle down, I’m coming,” and Castiel climbed out of the vehicle with a chuckle. 

Once Mary was out of the car Dean held her still long enough to make sure her backpack was on securely, fighting futilely to straighten her clothes and smooth her hair despite the girl's squirming. Eventually the omega finished his ministrations, and Castiel held up his phone tentatively.

“Pictures?”

Dean looked up in surprise, blinking once as if he'd forgotten the alpha was there. 

"Sounds good."

Quickly readjusting himself and turning Mary around, the omega crouched down beside her, their backs to the school.

“Say cheese,” Castiel murmured, mostly for Mary’s benefit, and was rewarded by a very loud attempt from the girl through closed teeth. The alpha took a few pictures just to be sure they got a good one, and then gave a nod to Dean.

“Your turn.” The two men swapped places, exchanging the phone between them. Castiel crouched down next to Mary, placing a tentative arm around her as he smiled for the camera. Dean took a few shots before clearing his throat.

“Okay, that’s a wrap.”

Mary began jumping beside him, excitement clearly coursing through her.

“Can I go in now? Can I?”

“Just one second sweetheart, okay?” Dean said with what Castiel sensed was the tiniest bit of exasperation. The omega approached, kneeling down so he was more eye-level with their daughter.

“Now, if for any reason you need anything, anything at all, just tell the teacher, okay? If you need to, ask her to let you call me. The school has my number.”

“Okay.” Dean fidgeted with her clothes some more, straightening her shirt with a thoughtful frown.

“Are you sure we didn’t forget anything?”

“Daddy, I’m fine. Can I go?”

A wistful smile spread across his face before he seemed to draw himself together, easygoing front back in place.

“Yes sweetheart. Give daddy a hug before you go.”

She wrapped her arms around him easily, squeezing tight before letting go and running over to Castiel to throw her arms around his legs. The alpha managed to bend down and pull her into a proper hug, surreptitiously taking in her warm, childlike scent—almost milky, with a hint of Dean's cinnamon.

“Bye alpha daddy.”

“Bye Mary. Have a good first day.”

The girl turned and gave one last smile to Dean before darting towards the school, slowing down only after the omega shouted “no running!” after her. The two watched her retreating form as she walked toward the entrance, head turning as she looked around at the building and other students with awe. A sweet, sad feeling began gnawing at Castiel’s stomach, knowing this was the first milestone he'd ever shared with his daughter. Phantom awareness of all that he missed tugged at his mind, seeping through his veins and settling into what felt like every crevice of his body. As Mary walked up to the teacher and greeted her with a smile, he felt his chest constrict impossibly tight.

“She’s already so grown up.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could even think to regret them, his focus instead on willing away the wateriness that had sprung to his eyes. Distantly he was aware of Dean glancing at him with furrowed brows, only looking away as the teacher began ushering students inside. Just as Mary was about to go through the door she turned around and gave them one last waive; Castiel waived back, arm dropping as she disappeared into the building. They both stood there in silence, staring at the building as the other parents began to disperse. Castiel was content to marvel at the ache in his chest, at how quickly Mary had become the most important thing in his life, but of course he could only remain introspective for so long. Eventually they were the only ones left standing in the parking lot, and even he had to admit it was time to go when Dean turned back toward the car.

“Come on man, we can’t stay here all day. They’ll probably call the cops on us.”

Castiel snorted at the thought, eventually moving to get back in the vehicle. By the time he was seated Dean was already settled into the driver’s seat, backing out of the space in silence. The air was heavy as they made their way back to the omega's house, something like a simultaneous sense of loss and accomplishment. Yet the omega was clearly deep in thought about something, jaw clicking as he stared ahead. The alpha could practically hear the gears turning in his head.

“I never apologized,” the man began suddenly, startling Castiel with the break in silence. He seemed to be having trouble getting the words out, but the alpha waited patiently, wondering where this was going.

“...for not telling you about Mary.”

Castiel blinked in surprise, mouth opening once before closing again. Dean seemed to take his silence as permission to go on.

“Don’t get me wrong, what you did was…” he trailed off, not needing to say what they both already knew.

“But that didn’t make not telling you any less shitty.”

Castiel didn’t know how to respond to that. After the argument they'd had when he first learned about Mary, he didn't think this conversation was even on the table. Not only that, but the idea of Dean outright apologizing to him given everything he had done was, well...odd.

“I’m the one who put you into such a difficult position in the first place," he murmured, gazing down at his hands resting uselessly in his lap. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Dean's lips press into a firm line, eyes never leaving the road.

“But that doesn’t make it okay.”

“No. It doesn’t.” Castiel admitted, discomfort prodding at him from the acknowledgment. Sure, guilt had burrowed somewhere next to his heart and made its home there, but that didn't change the gaping absence of all the milestones and memories he'd missed. 

He felt the need to say something, to make some sense out of the bog of emotions he seemed to be wading through this morning. Wrestling with his thoughts, he voiced the only thing he could come up with.

“We’ve both made some mistakes."

Dean snorted beside him.

“That’s an understatement.”

And yeah, maybe it was obvious, but maybe it needed to be said anyway. 

“Would you have ever told me? If I didn’t come back?”

The omega didn't respond at first, eventually giving a tense shrug. “Probably.”

“Probably?”

“I mean, Mary would’ve eventually started asking questions about her other parent. I wouldn’t have lied to her. She’d have probably wanted to meet you and I wouldn’t have stood in her way.”

“But otherwise, you wouldn’t have told me?” He prodded, the need to know suddenly burning in his gut.

“What do you want me to say?”

"Yes or no would be a start."

Dean clamped his jaw shut at that, resolutely glaring at the road. Nevertheless, he still eventually responded.

"No."

They both stared ahead.

“You hate me that much.”

The omega huffed a sigh, hand reaching to rub his face.

“It’s not – sure, after you left there was a lot of ‘if he doesn’t need us we don’t need him.’ But it was more than just anger Cas, the thought of contacting you, of seeing you again, it was just too painful. And when that pain finally felt manageable years had gone by, and how do you pick up the phone and say ‘hey, by the way, you have a two-year-old child.’ And then there was the matter of custody, and your family, and I couldn’t lose her too. I just couldn’t, Cas.“

He paused, the conviction behind his statement echoing in the silence that followed.

“I know it still wasn’t fair to you or Mary. I’m not proud.” And it was true, Castiel could smell hints of shame intermingling with his scent, though what to do with that he wasn't sure. They drove the rest of the way in silence, Dean apparently done talking. Eventually they pulled up in front of the Winchesters' house, but neither moved to get out of the car.

“I’m never going to be okay with missing so many of Mary’s early years.” Castiel eventually stated, looking down and playing with a stray thread on his pants. “And the fact that if it were up to you you’d have never told me...” he had to give himself a moment to breathe deeply, forcing himself to relax. “But despite that, I understand why you did what you did. If it gives you any comfort, know I forgive you.”

He glanced up at the omega a few moments later, only to find an expression of incredulity. He guessed that wasn’t the reaction Dean was expecting.

“Just like that?”

“I know about her now. And I’d rather focus on my future relationship with my daughter than hang onto the past.”

Dean looked away at that, mouth turned down in a frown. Castiel began to wonder if the silence was his cue to leave, but Dean still wasn’t getting out of the car.

“I was thinking…” he began, still not quite looking at him. “What with Mary starting school and all, maybe you could pick her up on Fridays. Get three days in for your weekend.”

Castiel paused, surprised by the offer. It felt like an apology of sorts. An acknowledgment. He supposed this was Dean-speak for ‘cat argument over,’ and he found a smile erupting on his face at the thought of another night per week with Mary.

“I would like that very much, Dean.”

“Great. Now get out of my car, I don’t need your alpha stench stinking it up.”

There was no heat behind his words, and Castiel gave a good-natured eye roll before opening the door and getting out.

“One last thing.” The omega called out from behind him. Castiel turned around, leaning down so he was face to face with Dean through the window.

“Yes?”

“Mr. Whiskers? Seriously?”

“Goodbye, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a lot of exposition which probably needed better pacing, but I just want to get it out there so we can move on to actual plot.
> 
> I'm gonna update the tags tonight. Please let me know if I miss something important!

As it turned out, Mary loved kindergarten. So much so, in fact, that every Friday when Castiel picked her up he received a full recap of everything she did during the past week—and he meant everything. From what she drew a picture of to the cool pair of scissors her classmate had, the girl seemed eager to share every thought that happened to pop into her head. Though her child-like repetitiveness could sometimes be exasperating, Castiel nevertheless cherished her eagerness to share, knowing that soon she would grow tired of talking about school or the minute details of her life. For now though, they got to spend their Friday evenings sharing stove top mac and cheese while she ranked her favorite colored pencils. To Castiel, it felt a lot like making up for lost time.

It amazed him how quickly the arrangement with Mary felt solidified, as if they had been doing this for years. Despite the tension between them, he and Dean had developed a rhythm, interactions growing easier with each Friday and Sunday they alternated picking her up. He felt little by little he was regaining the omega’s trust with every week he remained, still committed to helping raise their daughter. It showed in the subtle lessening of the tension in the omega's shoulders, the ebbing need to collect Mary and leave as quickly as possible. And well, something Castiel couldn't quite put his finger on. See, there had been this moment...

As they neared the end of September the produce in his garden began to flourish, and so he and Mary had picked what was ripe to make meals with throughout the weekend. Her normal aversion to vegetables was overcome by the novelty of eating things they had grown themselves, carrots which had before been a boring staple of her diet now an exciting dining experience. Considering her fascination with it all, it was no surprise she’d felt the need to tell Dean about it the moment he'd come to the door to pick her up.

“We ate pasghetti! With tomatoes from the garden!”

The omega raised a brow, small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“You cook now?”

The alpha had shrugged, pushing his hands into his pockets self-consciously.

“It felt about time I learned. What with being a grown man and having a child to feed.”

That earned the ghost of a smile, the barest hint of a mocking gleam in Dean's eye as Mary continued to babble about the wonders of homegrown food. Perhaps it was because he felt the need to say something and contribute to the conversation, perhaps because he had remembered Dean’s fondness for cooking, but Castiel found himself saying, “I actually have more in my garden than I’ll be able to use on my own, if you’d like to take some. The tomatoes, beans, peppers, and carrots are ripe.”

Any hesitancy on the part of the omega was quickly overridden by Mary’s enthusiastic support of the idea, and so Castiel had led the two through the house, stopping in the kitchen to grab a large Tupperware container before heading out into the garden. As soon as they stepped onto the porch Dean stopped in his tracks, letting out an appreciative whistle as he observed the backyard.

“Looks like you put a lot of effort into this.”

Castiel gazed at his work, taking a moment to appreciate the truth in that statement. The hydrangeas surrounding the porch were thriving, his vegetable plots full and bearing produce, and the mess of flowers and trees lining the fence enclosing it all flourishing. In the soft glow of early evening it looked warm and bountiful, and for a small moment he felt pride bloom in his chest.

“I enjoy gardening. And I find it soothing to sit out here on the porch with a cup of tea in the evenings. It’s…peaceful.”

The omega hummed at that, looking thoughtful.

“You know, I’d almost forgotten.”

“Forgotten what?”

“That you’re an old man in a thirty year old's body.”

The alpha snorted, shaking his head as a smile stretched across his face in spite of himself.

“Says the man obsessed with a medical soap and music that hasn’t been popular for decades.”

“Hey! Dr. Sexy is quality programming and you know it.”

“You’ll never get me to admit it.”

He’d glanced at the omega with a smile, heart racing a little faster at the grin mirrored back at him. Rather than look away, however, their eyes had locked, and Castiel felt his breath catch in his throat as he was lost in a familiar sea of green. Distantly he registered the soft breeze winding around them, could feel something electric charging the cool evening air, but it all quickly faded into the background. As if from a gravitational pull he was drawn in, world narrowing to the eyes staring back at him. 

“Daaaaad!”

And then the moment was over. Dean had selected some vegetables from his garden, and they’d been on their way.

So yes, he had sensed there was something there. What, exactly, he couldn't say. The only thing he knew for sure was that Dean hadn't looked away, a fact he spent the following days trying not to think about too deeply.

By the time Thursday evening came around he was mildly successful, content to lounge on the couch with Mr. Whiskers half draped on his lap and a documentary playing quietly on the T.V. The promise of Mary the next day had him in high spirits, mind thrumming as he considered different ideas for what they could do that weekend. Eventually he found himself too wound up, and so he made his way to the kitchen for a cup of tea. Chamomile seemed like a good pick, and he hummed as he filled his kettle. But before he could place it on the stove he was distracted by the buzzing of his phone in his back pocket, a quick glance revealing that it was Dean calling. Curiosity gripped him, knowing that the man did not call him out of the blue unless it was something important.

“Dean?”

“Hey Cas.”

“What’s going on? Did something happen to Mary?”

"What? No, Mary's fine."

A weight lifted from his chest at that.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah of course. Why, did you hear otherwise?"

He felt himself relax a bit more, sheepishness starting to creep in at Dean's obvious confusion.

"No, I just-you don't usually call. Is this about picking up Mary tomorrow?"

“No, no, nothing like that.”

There was a pause, Castiel waiting expectantly for the omega to continue. When he didn’t, he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Well, I've run out of guesses. To what do I owe this phone call?”

His curiosity increased as he heard a sigh on the other end of the line, another pause stretching uncomfortably long. Eventually the other man seemed to gather his nerve.

“So, I have a heat scheduled for two weeks from now.”

Oh.

It made sense. While suppressants had largely removed the burden of a monthly heat, omegas still generally needed to go through two a year to keep everything running smoothly. As far as he knew Dean hadn’t had one since he’d been back, and it had been a few months now...

“Usually Mary stays with Sam while I’m...indisposed, but I figured since you’re in the picture now you might want her to stay with you.”

“Uh yeah, yes of course. I would love to have Mary for a week.”

“Yeah, okay…um, so I guess Sam would drop her off with a bag of clothes, her backpack, all that stuff. I’m stopping the suppressants Monday, so it should be about a week from then, but you know how these things go. If it starts earlier than that I can have him give you a call.”

“That sounds good.”

“Good.”

There was another pause, discomfort tangible on the line.

“Do you- do you need anything? For your…” he had trouble getting the words out, the thought of Dean in heat already messing with his faculties. Despite the awkwardness of it all he still needed to ask, his inner alpha rearing to take care of the omega during such a vulnerable time. Even if they weren’t in a relationship anymore, the need to protect would probably never go away - what with them being true mates, and all. 

“No.” Dean replied quickly, hesitating before continuing. “No, Benny will be taking care of things.”

It wasn’t that surprising, the two had been dating for a few months, after all. Castiel should’ve seen this coming.

So why did it feel like a dagger to the heart?

Despite the tentative peace he had made with Dean and Benny’s relationship he still found himself trying to choke down rage that bubbled up his throat, steeling himself against the tumultuous nausea that bombarded him suddenly. For the most part he could go about his days pretending the relationship didn’t exist, but in moments like this when he was hit face first with reality it made it that much harder to deal. Add in the fact they were talking about Dean’s _heat_ , and well, the possessive chorus of _mine_ racing through his head was frightening.

“Cas?” came Dean’s voice over the phone, lilting with caution. Belatedly the alpha realized he needed to end this conversation before he said or did something inappropriate. Like, now.

“Right, so I’ll see you tomorrow when I pick up Mary. Goodbye.”

He hung up before the omega had a chance to respond, feeling a flash of guilt for his rude behavior as he stumbled back to the couch to lie down. Still, it was probably a good idea to separate himself from Dean as much as possible. Even as the physical symptoms of rejection racked him, a primal need to claim – to take back _his omega_ from a challenger, began raging inside of him. His mind involuntarily flashed to Benny and Dean together during his heat; wrapped up in the sheets, bodies writhing, hands roaming and…

The thought was interrupted by a loud CRACK, Castiel nonplussed as to its origin until he looked down at his hand. Fuck. He’d crushed his phone, breaking the screen like some alpha cartoon stereotype. Cursing himself, he threw the now-useless device against the wall in frustration.

Breathing. Counting his breath would help him. He just needed to focus, in four, out eight, in four, out eight, in four…

Okay, so that wasn’t working. What else had helped before? He honestly couldn’t remember at the moment, the need to claim coursing through him with such an intensity he was seconds away from running to his car and driving to Dean’s home. The small part of his brain still working knew that was a very, _very_ bad idea.

He needed a distraction. He needed to release some of this tension. He needed…he needed…

Barely able to think, his hand reached down, unzipping his pants and shakily grabbing his member. With a few strokes he was hard, fueled by a mixture of jealousy and want that felt like fire under his skin. An image popped into his mind of Dean in heat—alone, this time—skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He practically glistened as he squirmed on the sheets, one hand reaching behind him as he desperately tried to soothe his heat with his fingers. But they weren’t enough—of course they weren’t enough, there was only one thing that could satisfy him. One person who could give him what he needs.

With a moan he stroked himself faster, lost in the image. He was there, ripping away Dean’s hands and pinning them above his head. Kissing his way down the omega’s body before licking him open. Muffling his moans with a filthy kiss as he finally entered him. His hands roamed, mouth tracing their path as he worshiped every line and curve of the omega's body. Dean was so good, slick and smooth and warm as he arched into his thrusts. Castiel could already feel his knot forming, was so close, just needed a little bit more. He zeroed in on Dean’s bared neck, head leaning forward without thought as his teeth clamped down in a mating bite he should’ve left years ago –

Suddenly he was coming, his release spattering over his shirt as his eyes flew open. Riding out the waves of pleasure he waited for his heartbeat to slow, the tension that had consumed him just minutes before easing. As reality returned to him slowly, he came back to his head enough to feel shame from what he'd just done, knowing he wouldn’t be able to look Dean in the eye when he picked up Mary tomorrow. He was going to need another way to handle his ‘alpha’ issues in the future, assuming something like this happened again.

It probably would.

Feeling somewhat closer to normal he sat up, groaning as he realized his shirt was ruined—and his phone, he noted with chagrin. Looks like he’d be picking up a new one tomorrow before work. For tonight though he desperately needed a shower—and to crawl into bed and forget this ever happened.

* * *

Castiel was feeling jittery when he arrived at Sandover that morning, having had to forego his morning run in order to purchase a new phone. It didn’t help that he still had to wait another thirty minutes to get it set up, though fortunately he was able to import his old contact information. If he hadn’t, he might’ve been confused by the text message stating only ‘call me’ from Gabriel.

Deciding work could wait a little bit longer he quickly dialed his brother’s number, looking around surreptitiously to make sure no one was paying much attention to him. While he had a desk and “office,” the layout of his floor was open concept. Fortunately everyone else seemed engrossed in their files or morning coffee.

“Gabriel the great speaking, please state your praises.”

“Hello, Gabriel.”

“Cassie! To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“You asked me to call you.”

“Right you are!” There was shuffling in the background, followed by what sounded like a door shutting. Castiel waited patiently as he heard a computer boot up, followed by rapid clicking. “So, here’s the deal. It looks like I have five days of paid vacation I need to use up before the new year, and I figured I would spend them visiting my dear brother and favorite niece.”

“You want to visit?”

“That’s what I said kiddo, try to keep up.”

Castiel gaped, mind warring with what his ears were telling him.

“When I lived here before you said you’d rather drop dead than step foot in Kansas. I begged you to come for months before you visited.”

“Yeah, well…that was before you had a kid.”

The alpha couldn’t help smiling at his begrudging tone. For all of Gabriel’s bravado and crudity, he had a softer side when it came to kids, even if he didn't like to admit it.

“So, when would be good for you? Preferably some time when Deano would be willing to let me hang out with the rugrat more.”

“Your timing might actually be perfect,” Castiel murmured, pinning his phone to his shoulder as he reached for the calendar in his briefcase. “Dean called me yesterday asking if I wanted to take Mary during his heat. I’ll have her for a week starting around the 30th. Is that too short notice?”

Considering he managed a small group of bakeries, it might be difficult to get people to cover all that he did.

“Too short notice? Please, I’ll make it work. Pencil me in, and get prepared to pick me up from the airport. I might be willing to visit, but I’m certainly not taking a Kansas taxi.”

“God forbid.” He responded dryly. As if he wasn't going to pick him up for the airport anyway.

“So, Deano’s having a heat, huh?” the alpha cringed, having hoped his brother would leave the topic alone. His eyes flickered around the office again, voice lowering as he hoped no one happened to be listening in.

“As all omega’s do, from time to time,” 

“And you’re not dying to be there with him?”

“Gabriel!”

“What? It’s just a question.”

“It is an inappropriate question and I will not put up with any more of its variety.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Castiel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Anything happening there?”

“Of course not, Gabe. In fact, he’s seeing someone else.” He heard the omega whistle over the line.

“Sorry, Cas. That’s rough.”

“Yes, well. It wasn’t unexpected. He was sure to move on eventually.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact you’re still hung up on him.”

He wanted to deny it, but knew it would be useless. Dean was the reason he came back here. The person whose happiness he cared about most behind Mary. Giving him some produce from his garden and making him smile was one of the highlights of his month. But much as he’d like to somehow win the omega back, he knew Dean didn’t want anything to do with him. Not anymore.

“Have you even tried to…”

“What kind of alpha would I be if I kept pursuing someone I knew wasn’t interested?”

“A shitty one.”

The sudden acidity creeping into his tone was unsurprising, considering a large part of the reason he left the family was to avoid the suitors his parents forced on him. Alphas with wandering hands and little respect for the omegas they viewed as status symbols. Coming from a family like the Novaks, Gabriel was highly coveted by a number of courters who didn’t seem to understand the word no.

The omega didn’t like to talk about it.

“So. Abandoning this depressing topic, how goes things with the kid?”

Smiling at the framed pictures of Mary he had on his desk, he launched into a more recent update on her start at school and some of their weekend activities. Still, much as he liked gushing about his daughter (the opportunities were few and far between), he noted a few inquisitive glances pointed his way from his coworkers. Perhaps he'd been on the phone a bit too long.

“Hey, I better get back to work.”

“Boss hanging around?”

“Something like that.”

“In that case, I’ll forward you my itinerary after I book my flight. Be sure to tell the little bug that her favorite uncle is coming!”

“You do understand she has known Dean's brother her entire life and has never met you before, right? You won’t be in the running for favorite uncle for a long time.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Castiel just groaned into the phone.

“I’ll take that as my cue to leave. Hang in there kiddo, I’ll be in touch.”

“Goodbye, Gabe.”

He hung up with a sigh, wondering how Dean would take the news of Gabriel’s imminent visit. The man was brash, and crude, and likely the last person any reasonable parent would want around their child. But he also knew Gabe could behave himself, at times, and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize Castiel’s role in Mary’s life. And if he were being honest, Castiel really missed his brother. It had been years since they’d seen each other in person, so this visit felt like a long time coming.

Still, he knew Dean was wary about any involvement from his family in Mary’s life, and not without reason. Not to mention the fact he would be in heat and unable to supervise or intervene. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he realized Dean would probably hate the idea.

Shit. How could he have been so short-sighted? He had a sinking feeling this was what Dean meant when he said it was ‘always the same with him.’ After all, it only took a little bit of empathy to know it wasn't something he should forage ahead with on his own.

Well, he could still fix this. He’d broach the topic when he picked up Mary tonight. If the omega wasn’t comfortable with it, he’d just have to call Gabe back and schedule a different time. It was only right.

* * *

“You want your brother to visit, what, while I’m out of the picture?”

Castiel sighed, feeling like they were already off on the wrong foot.

“I just thought it might be nice because he would get more time with Mary. But it's not necessary if you’re uncomfortable with the timing. We could do another week.”

The omega eyed him sharply, as if trying to figure out what Castiel was hiding.

“Just Gabriel?”

“Yes. To be clear, I don’t want Mary in contact with any other member of my family either.”

The man seemed a bit doubtful at that, but wasn’t challenging it. 

“For five days?”

“For five days.”

He stared at Castiel for what felt like an uncomfortable amount of time, the alpha trying not to squirm under his scrutiny. Eventually he heaved his shoulders in a sigh, arms crossing.

“Alright. I’m going to say okay, but on three conditions. One, Sam checks in on you throughout the visit. If at any time he feels things aren’t on the up and up, he will take Mary for the rest of my heat. Two, I want daily phone calls to check in on her. I’ll ring your cell in the evenings during a lull. Three, under no circumstances is she to be in contact with any other member of your family. If I find out anything to the contrary, we’re gonna have bigger problems than this visit. Do you understand?”

Considering he hadn’t expected Dean to say yes at all, yes, he could deal with it.

“I do. And I can work with that." He paused, thoughtful. "I’m sure Sam and Gabriel will get along swimmingly.”

The omega's face remained stern, but Castiel could see a faint twinkle in his eye.

“Okay. I’ll need more information about his visit once you know when he’s coming and all that.”

“Of course.”

“And Cas? Tell him no swearing or saying weird sexual stuff in front of our kid, will you?”

While for most people that would be obvious, it was probably a good idea to explicitly remind his brother.

“On it.”

Dean nodded, taking a step back and calling for Mary. As Castiel ushered the girl to his car, he felt excitement rushing through him. Gabriel was coming to visit. He was going to get close to a full week with both his daughter and his brother, all under the same roof.

It was going to be very loud.

He couldn't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, sorry it's taken so long to update. I was wrapping up grad school and going through an eating disorder program at the same time, so needless to say I didn't have much time for writing. Hopefully this makes up for it a little bit.

Castiel propelled himself forward, feet pounding against the pavement as he rounded out mile five. Finding himself antsy throughout the day with excitement for Gabriel’s impending visit and his week with Mary (and okay, maybe a little agitation at the thought of Dean’s heat), he’d been pushing himself further in his morning runs, hoping to burn his excess energy. As Friday dawned he felt familiar thrumming under his skin, and so he found himself sprinting through his usual neighborhoods, legs burning with the exertion. In the back of his mind he knew he should pace himself more, drenched in sweat and breathing in harsh pants, but he didn’t care. It felt good, was the only time he could really clear his mind. He’d probably go another two miles before tiring himself out.

As he rounded another neighborhood turning onto Eighteenth Street, he got a clear shot of the road stretching before him. Further down a tow truck with the words ‘Singer’s Auto’ caught his eye, and he found himself slowing as he approached, straining to see who was accompanying it. Sure enough, a familiar head of spiked hair peaked out behind an old Buick, freckles lining a face concentrated on hooking the car to the tow. Feeling it would be rude not to stop, he slowed to a jog, halting at the end of the driveway.

“Hello, Dean.” The omega jumped a little, eyes widening in surprise as his head snapped around. Castiel felt a little sheepish as he bent over, hands resting on his knees as he caught his breath. Now that he’d stopped, he felt the strain he’d put on his body more clearly.

“Hey Cas,” Dean said slowly, eyes fixed on him. “I see you’re still running.”

“Yes.” He straightened himself up, taking a few steps forward as he pulled at the collar of his t-shirt. “I find it clears my mind. I try to get it in at least a few days a week.”

“Oh?” Dean responded distractedly, eyes traveling downwards. The alpha suddenly felt a flash of self-consciousness as he glanced down at himself, seeing how his sweat soaked t-shirt clung to him. Belatedly he realized he probably wreaked, and he instantly regretted coming closer. Perhaps he should’ve just done a passing wave. 

“Early morning job?”

“Huh?”

“The tow? Early morning job?” He gestured with his head at the vehicle Dean was standing beside and the omega finally seemed to understand, looking to the car in surprise as if he’d forgotten it was there.

“Oh! Yeah. Car wouldn’t start when Walker was leaving for work, I was the only one available to take it in, so…” he trailed off, eyes darting between the car and the alpha. “Um, speaking of which, I gotta go. Work to do and all.” He turned to finish attaching the car to the tow as Castiel stood there awkwardly.

“Oh, okay…right, I don't want to hold you up.”

Finishing swiftly the omega straightened up, dusting off his hands and turning back to the alpha.

“Good to see you Cas,” he mumbled, not meeting his eyes as he turned and made his way quickly to the cab. It was hard to tell, but the alpha thought he seemed a little flush.

“Uh, you too. I’ll see you this afternoon when I pick up Mary?”

“Yep. Bye.” He gave a waive as he practically scrambled into the truck, starting it and pulling out of the driveway as soon as Castiel got out of the way. He didn’t spare the alpha a glance as he turned back toward Singer's Auto, the sound of Metallica audible from outside the truck. Castiel frowned, giving his armpit a quick sniff as he tried to figure out Dean’s behavior. He didn’t think he smelled too bad, but clearly he had done something to offend the omega. Maybe he should cut his run short and head home to take a shower.

The rest of the day seemed to pass excruciatingly slowly, the promise of Mary this evening and Gabriel coming in early Sunday much more tempting to think about than spreadsheets and numbers. He’d even been able to cash in vacation time of his own, getting his days free and doing some work at home at night. Of course Mary would still need to go to school on weekdays, but Kindergarten got out relatively early—she would still have plenty of time to get to know her uncle.

Eventually five o’clock came and he rushed to his car, grateful to be able to leave and head over to the Winchester household. He found himself humming along to the radio, fingers tapping against the steering wheel. His good mood was only tampered by the thought that he should probably apologize to Dean for earlier, and he contemplated what exactly he would say all the way up to the door. The effort was unnecessary, however, because his knock was answered by none other than his brother.

“Sam?”

“Dean’s heat started early,” was all he said in greeting, hand reaching behind him as he grasped an overnight bag and shoved it at Castiel.

“Is he okay?”

“He’s fine. Not that it’s any of your business, anyway.” A second bag, this time Mary’s backpack, was thrust at him. Castiel bit his tongue, a scathing remark dying in his throat.

“Your week with Mary starts now. Dean wanted me to give you this.” He held out a piece of paper which Castiel took with curiosity. “It has her schedule and emergency numbers. Mine is on there too. If you find you can’t handle it or can no longer watch her for whatever reason, call me and I’ll pick her up.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“Uh huh. Your brother is coming Sunday, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll see you then. Mary!” he called behind him, apparently deciding he was done with the conversation. The alpha tried not to bristle, putting on a smile as Mary bounded to the door. Sam wasn’t going to put a mar on Gabriel’s visit or his time with his daughter. The man could posture as much as he wanted, Castiel wasn't going anywhere,

* * *

So he may have underestimated some organizational aspects of picking up Gabriel—namely, how to entertain a child on a close to one-hour car ride. He’d tried improvising, flipping through the radio and stopping at songs she’d shown interest in, and when she’d grown bored with that playing I spy. Yet no matter what he tried Mary took up a familiar chorus of ‘are we there yet,’ to the point that Castiel was beyond relieved when the looming form of the airport came into view.

He’d originally planned to meet Gabriel at the pickup lane, but Mary clearly needed a break from the car (and probably for the bathroom, too). So he texted Gabriel that they were coming in to meet him, found parking, and began heading toward the terminal. After taking Mary to the restroom he eventually found the baggage claim area, glad that his daughter was distracted by all the people and the novelty of her surroundings. He took to entertaining her by pointing out planes taking off through the big windows, but soon they were interrupted by a nearby throat clearing.

Castiel turned, freezing as he took in the brother he hadn’t seen in years. Gabriel looked just as he remembered, hair gelled back behind his ears and smirk lining his face. What surprised Castiel was the tourist getup he’d apparently donned for the trip, Hawaiian shirt and straw hat only shown up by the comically large sunglasses perched on his nose. The man took them off and stuck them on his collar, holding his arms out expectantly.

“Don’t I get a hug?”

With a grimacing smile the alpha moved forward to wrap his arms around his brother, breathing in the familiar scent of family. He didn’t realize how much he missed it until that moment, and yet the nagging sadness at the loss of the rest of his family was strangely absent. He wasn't sure how to feel about that, other than relieved he still had Gabriel in his life. Moving back reluctantly, he got a closer look at his brother's colorful attire.

“What’s up with the island getup?”

“I’m on vacation!” he said, eyebrows wiggling as he beamed with self-satisfaction. The alpha merely looked from the shirt to the hat again, raising an expectant brow. 

“Alright, alright, move aside.” Seemingly unfazed, the omega pushed him out of the way before crouching down. 

“And you must be Mary.”

The girl nodded slowly, looking at Castiel for direction.

“Mary, this is your uncle Gabriel. He came here all the way from California to visit us.”

Despite their earlier conversation about her uncle coming she still seemed unsure about the new person in front of her, so he was grateful Gabriel decided to take the lead.

“That’s right kiddo. All the way on the other side of the country, by the beach and celebrities. And look what I brought with me.” He deftly removed a plush monkey and giant rainbow lollipop from a bag sitting beside him, grinning from ear to ear as Mary’s eyes widened.

“Are they for me?”

“You bet they are.”

A smile dawned slowly across her face as she reached out and grabbed the gifts from the omega.

“Daddy, look!” she said, holding them up and waving them in his face for Castiel to inspect.

“I see, honey. How thoughtful of your uncle. Now what do you say?”

“Thank you!” the girl said distractedly, engrossed in inspecting her new stuffed animal. His brother didn't seem bothered by it, instead looking pleased she liked the gifts in the first place. Sensing she wouldn’t be paying attention to either of them anytime soon, Castiel gently gripped her shoulder, turning to Gabriel.

“Shall we? The car is parked in the economy lot.”

“Lead the way, cap'n.”

They navigated through the airport, sharing small talk about Gabriel’s flight and the Kansas heat until they finally reached the car. Much to Castiel’s chagrin, once he got Gabriel's bags in the trunk and strapped Mary into her booster seat, the omega was climbing into the back with her.

“What, you’re not going to sit up front with me?”

“Nope. I’m gonna sit back here and get to know my niece. Onwards, driver!”

And while Castiel somewhat resented being treated like a taxi, once they got driving he couldn’t help glancing in the rear-view mirror fondly. Gabriel had always been good with kids and Mary was no exception, quickly taking to the omega and his exuberance. Better than that, he easily distracted her for the whole car ride home, making up games Castiel had never even heard of that made her giggle like crazy. He’d doubted it at first, warned Gabriel not to get his hopes up, but after only an hour and a half he had a feeling that the man might be able to achieve his goal of becoming favorite uncle after all.

By the time they made it home Mary was running excitedly up to her room, dragging Gabriel behind her and saying something about introducing the monkey to the rest of her toys. Castiel trailed behind them with his brother's bags, placing them next to the couch in the living room. Though he felt bad about not being able to provide a guest room, his extra room given to Mary, at least he had a reasonably comfortable pullout.

He eventually followed them upstairs, watching from the doorway as Mary animatedly showed the omega her favorite toys. His brother oohed and aahed at all the appropriate places, effortlessly keeping up with her energy. It wasn’t until the girl began to tire herself out that Castiel looked at the time and then stepped into the room.

“Alright, we can hang out with uncle Gabe more later, okay honey? Right now I think it’s time for a nap.”

“No!” she whined, crossing her arms and pouting. It might've been more effective if not immediately followed by a large yawn. 

“I think yes.” He walked over and picked her up, glad she didn't make much more of a fuss. While she usually didn't need one, on busier days a nap was still necessary. As soon as he’d set her up in bed, monkey tucked tightly in her arms, he saw her quickly fall asleep and gestured for Gabriel to follow him out of the room.

“Well, I see she inherited my good looks and charm.”

The alpha snorted, unsurprised at his brother's assessment.

“Really? I thought it was more your hyperactivity and love of sugar.”

"That too, probably. Really though, she's great Cas. You two idiots must be doing something right.”

Castiel sighed as they reached the bottom of the stairs, leading Gabriel to the couch and his bags.

“It’s all Dean. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing ninety percent of the time." Seeing the suggestive look his brother gave him at the mention of the other omega, he decided a change of subject was due. "Do you want anything? Something to eat? Drink?”

“A tequila sunrise would be great, mi hermano.”

“Your options are water, tea, or apple juice.”

“Apple juice it is!”

By the time Castiel came back into the living room Gabriel had settled himself on the couch, bag of candy in his hands and feet up on the coffee table. The alpha gave him a pointed look, particularly at the sandals, but nevertheless wordlessly handed over the juice and sat down next to his brother.

“So. How have you been, Gabriel?”

“Good, good. My bakeries are doing well. I've been considering expanding out of state, some investors seem interested. We'll see."

"That's great, Gabe, really."

"Yeah. Who knows, maybe if things go well we'll even expand to Kansas. Lord knows you all need _something_ good out here."

Castiel didn't hold back the eye roll, used to the jabs about the state he settled in. He knew Gabriel had wanted him to move out to California so they would be closer, but there was no bitterness behind his teasing. Still, the alpha couldn't help notice his smile slipping a bit.

"And Kali and I broke up."

"Again?"

It came out before he had a chance to think, causing him to look sheepish in response to Gabriel's dirty look.

"Yes, again. This time it feels different though. I don't know. Maybe permanent."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

The omega sighed, looking resigned.

"Don't be. Things had been fizzling out for awhile now. This visit will be a good way to clear my mind, I think. There have to be hot farmers around here, right?"

At Castiel's laugh the smile returned, along with a twinkle in his eye.

"Or hot mechanics."

"Gabe."

"What?" he feigned innocence, ignoring the exasperation in the alpha's voice.

"You know what. Nothing is happening with Dean and I and nothing will."

"You know-"

"No Gabe. Can we please just, not?"

The omega looked like he wanted to press the subject, but he seemed to sense the stress radiating off of Castiel. It wasn't that surprising. Thinking about Dean at all had him pretty on edge the past week.

"Alright then. What else do you have going on with your life?"

"Well, things are going well at Sandover. Not so challenging but a lot more stable. Then I have my running and my gardening. I'll be able to harvest some autumn vegetables in a couple of weeks. And of course, there's Mary."

Gabriel stared at him as if expecting more, eventually letting out a low whistle when he realized Castiel was done.

"Damn Cassie. Do you do anything that's not incredibly boring? Other than hang out with your kid?"

The alpha huffed with annoyance.

"And what should I be doing with my time instead?"

"I don't know, why don't you go to a strip club or something? Maybe a casino. Live a little."

"Gabe, do me a favor and don't mention either strip clubs or casinos in front of Mary."

"Don't worry little bro. I'll save that talk for when she's at least 13."

Swallowing the groan in his throat and praying he was kidding, Castiel was relieved when Gabriel shifted gears and began telling him stories about some of his exploits in California. While the alpha wouldn't want the chaotic life his brother seemed to live, he certainly liked hearing about it. It was almost hard for him to wrap his head around the man before him and the boy he'd grown up with under their austere parents. Gabriel had clearly flourished, more animated and glowing than he'd ever been around family. Castiel couldn't help but share in some of that happiness, laughing along easily as the omega got out everything he wouldn't be able to say in front of Mary.

"So I'm sitting there, covered in Italian dressing, and-"

The words were cut off by a loud knocking at the door, both brothers jumping as they were jolted out of their conversation. Castiel briefly wondered who it could be before his mind caught up with him, making him rise from the couch.

“That must be Sam, Dean’s brother.”

“Oh, our chaperone?”

“Gabe, please don’t antagonize him any further than I’ve already done myself.”

“Why, I would never!”

Castiel ignored the dramatic flourish that accompanied the statement, instead opening the door and stepping back so the other alpha could come in.

“Hello Sam.” He waited for the man to pass him, closing the door as he started introductions. “This is my brother Gabriel, Gabriel, this is –“

“Sam Winchester.” He got up from the couch, striding over and looking up “My brother never mentioned how tall you are.” The alpha raised a brow, regarding the omega's smile with distrust before straightening and extending a hand. It was clear from his stance that he meant business, nothing casual in the squaring of his shoulders. Castiel was worried how his brother would respond to the alpha posturing, knowing his brother wasn't one to take shit from anyone, so he almost choked when Gabriel took the hand and raised it to his lips, pressing a kiss there before uttering ‘enchanté’ with a cheeky grin. Sam didn’t seem to know how to react either, cheeks pinkening as he paused.

“Uh, nice to- to meet you too.”

He took back the hand, stepping away while clearing his throat. Though he seemed to have collected himself, he was still staring at the omega like Gabriel was a puzzle he was struggling to figure out. 

“Mary is upstairs taking a nap.” Both heads turned quickly, as if just remembering there was a third person in the room. While Castiel appreciated Sam being thrown off kilter, he also knew his brother often took his jokes too far. Assuming he was putting on a show. Which he must be. Surely.

“That- okay. So everything’s been fine?”

“So far, so good.”

“Yeah, we're all good here. What about you Sam? Are you good?”

Gabriel had moved back to the couch, arms crossed as he looked at the alpha appraisingly. The raise of his brow and purr of his voice were unmistakably flirty, as was the predatory way he was looking Sam up and down. The alpha seemed taken aback—he probably came expecting to ruffle some feathers, warn the visiting brother off from doing anything stupid. With the omega eyeing him like his next meal, he now seemed a bit lost.

“Um…I guess?”

Gabriel paused, tilting his head as he gave him an appreciative look.

“Tell me Sam, do you know where an omega can get a good tequila sunrise around here?”

“Alright, I think we've all checked in, hmm?" Castiel quickly interjected, desperate to stop this conversation before things escalated further. "I'm sure you have legal work to get back to, Sam. We wouldn't want to keep you away from your clients.”

“Oh, uh yeah, sure. There’s…stuff. Things I need to do. Um, I’ll be in touch. Later.”

He quickly shuffled out the door, awkwardly looking back before turning around and hurrying off. Castiel shut the door firmly behind him, slumping his shoulders in relief now that he was gone. Slowly he turned around, eyes trained on his brother.

“Gabriel. What the hell.”

“What? You said not to antagonize him. I think I was very friendly.”

The alpha just stared, mouth slightly agape. It looked like he wouldn’t have to worry about time flying by. He suddenly felt like this was going to be a long, long week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for you all.

Castiel had to admit he’d been concerned his brother might get bored visiting him in Kansas, but those fears quickly faded as the days went on. Their mornings started with the same routine, Gabriel sleeping in while Castiel dropped Mary off at school, the brothers having breakfast together once he returned. Then they would hang out for a few hours, sometimes talking and watching TV, other times Castiel showing him around Lawrence. The real highlights though were their afternoons with Mary. Like the day they drove off to the Topeka Zoo, Mary with wonder in her eyes as she saw lions and zebras and elephants for the first time—and joy when she pointed out a monkey that looked just like the one Gabriel had given her. Or that day of baking in which Gabriel showed them how to make cupcakes, which he’d somehow had time to make little sugar animal eyes and ears for. Or even like now, the two of them just sitting on the back porch with a beer while they watched Mary run around the yard playing with Mr. Whiskers. To Castiel it was adorable, even if his brother wasn’t all that crazy about the cat.

“Mr. Whiskers? Seriously”

“He came with the name.”

“Everyone renames their pets when they get them Cas. You’re not stuck with whatever the last person called them.”

“And what should I have named him, then?”

“I don’t know, something cool. Like Loki. Or Skeletor.

Castiel rolled his eyes, taking another sip of beer as Gabriel went on with his list of names. He couldn’t begrudge his brother too much, knowing he was just teasing. Still, he had started to tune him out when his attention was drawn to the sound of an opening gate, turning his head to reveal a tall, lanky alpha stepping into the backyard.

“Hey, no one was answering the door so I thought I’d check back here…” Sam trailed off, shifting in place awkwardly until Mary came running up to him. Despite Castiel’s discomfort with Gabriel’s shameless flirting every time the younger Winchester came around, he had to admit his brother had quite effectively knocked Sam down a peg or two. When the alpha had stopped by the day after they met, face dark and jaw stern as if to make up for the day before, Gabriel had merely sauntered into the room with a lascivious grin, his easy smile and suggestive questions having the alpha stuttering for words in a matter of minutes. The authoritative pretext soon disappeared altogether, replaced with what Castiel suspected was uncertainty and cautious interest. His suspicions were only furthered by the fact Sam had stopped by every day, not seeming all that concerned with checking in.

Nevertheless, when Mary ran up to him the alpha immediately gave her his attention, acquiescing when she demanded to be lifted onto his shoulders. Castiel couldn’t hold back a smirk as Mary grabbed onto his hair, yanking at it while yelling out directions. Mr. Whiskers hid under a bush in fear.

“So, he’s good with kids.”

Castiel sighed, not ready to entertain another one of Gabriel’s little talks about what he wanted to do with the other alpha.

“He’s too young for you.”

“Oh really? Alphas date younger omegas all the time. Why can’t an omega be with a younger alpha?”

“It has nothing to do with the fact you’re an omega.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It has more to do with the fact you’ll eat him alive.”

A grin flashed across the omega’s face at that, looking appreciatively at Sam’s retreating form as he ran across the lawn.

“You have no idea.”

They sat in silence watching the two until Mary apparently tired out, demanding to be put down before running off to look for Mr. Whiskers. The alpha approached them rather sheepishly, trying to look somewhat dignified as he stopped in front of the porch. He began to open his mouth to say something, but Gabriel beat him to the punch.

“So Sam, is Mary the only one who gets to ride the moose? Because I know something I’d like to—”

“Movies!” Castiel said, louder than he intended. The other two immediately turned to him, Gabriel looking annoyed while Sam seemed confused.

“We’re just staying in and watching movies tonight. Having pizza. Since you’re checking in.”

The alpha gave him a blank stare for a few moments before nodding in comprehension.

“Oh, right—yeah—checking in—um—”

His stammering was quickly interrupted by Mary who had run over at Castiel’s words, tugging at Sam’s jeans in excitement.

“Can uncle Sam stay for movie night? Please? Please please please please—”

“Of course uncle Sam can stay for movie night. You’d like that, right Sam?”

Gabriel had extended the invitation before Castiel could interject, smiling like the cat that caught the canary.

“Uh, well I guess if that’s okay…” Sam turned to Castiel, a sign of deference he hadn’t shown since the alpha returned to Lawrence. They were nowhere near good with each other, but it seemed as if for now the younger alpha could set aside his anger and aggression. The thought that it was for Gabriel made Castiel's stomach clench in discomfort. Yet even though the thought of an evening with the two of them sent a shiver down his spine, he knew he couldn’t deny Mary.

“Of course.”

So that’s how they found themselves huddled in his living room, pizza boxes and the assortment of candy Gabriel had at some point procured strewn across the floor as a movie played. The omega was of course sitting very close to Sam, who seemed stiff and hyper aware of the fact Mary was sitting next to him on his other side. In fact, he looked determined to keep his eyes resolutely glued to the TV. Meanwhile Mary seemed to be coming down from her sugar high, leaning against her father with drooping eyes as she stared at the screen. It was at least a bit of a reprieve from the post-dinner sing along Gabriel had decided to incite. He and Mary might’ve been enthusiastic, but neither really had a good sense of pitch.

“I’m gonna get some tea. Do you guys want anything?” he asked in a hushed voice, unsurprised when the two other adults shook their heads without even looking and Mary seemed too sleepy to respond. He kissed her on the forehead before gently nudging her to lean on Sam, getting up and heading to the kitchen. He was just picking a tea bag when he felt a buzzing in his pocket, taking out his phone to see Dean’s name. The omega had been calling each evening to check in with Mary like he’d said, though Castiel couldn’t help noticing that each day his voice sounded more exhausted.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas.” If he hadn’t known the omega was in heat he’d think Dean were ill; as it was, he supposed it must just be a particularly rough one. “How are things going over there?”

“Good, good.” He paused, unsure if the omega really wanted to talk with him or was just being polite before asking for Mary. “We’re having a movie night. Sam is here.”

“What?” Dean asked, energy seeming to perk up on the other end of the line.

“He stopped by to check in and Mary asked him to stay.”

“Huh. Guess it must be kinda awkward over there.”

Castiel snorted.

“Not for the reason you’d think.”

He began telling Dean about Gabriel and Sam meeting, followed by the happenings during Sam’s daily check-ins—leaving out some of the more unsavory details. The omega listened, seeming too shocked to react until he gave a weak chuckle on the other end of the line.

“He’d said he was only going to stop by twice.” Castiel smiled to himself, his thoughts about Sam’s visits confirmed. A loud groan followed, the reaction the alpha initially expected. 

“This is so unnatural.”

“You’re telling me. At least you don’t have to see it.”

“Listen, you tell Gabe that if he lays one finger on my baby brother, I’ll—I’ll—"

“Fly out to California and beat him up?”

“Damn straight.”

The omega sighed, going quiet for a moment. Castiel felt like he could almost hear him thinking on the other end of the line.

“Your brother is going to eat him alive.”

“That’s what I said.”

The smile on his face was interrupted by the sound of a door opening and closing in the background, the faint sound of another man’s voice following. He immediately tensed, though his inner alpha seemed to be somewhat assuaged when he heard Dean saying he was still on the phone and needed more time. Even if it didn’t mean anything, the fact the omega chose him over Benny in this one tiny way still felt like a victory. Nevertheless, the interruption had brought him back to reality.

“Uh, I can go get Mary so you can talk with her—”

“No I—it sounds like everything’s okay and I don’t want to pull her from the movie.”

Again, it didn’t mean anything, but Castiel couldn’t help clinging to the words as a sign of trust.

“Alright. Then I’ll hear from you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure. And Cas?”

“Yes?”

“Protect Sam’s honor.”

“I’ll do my best. Goodbye Dean.” He hung up, stupid smile still glued on his face. What could he say, just hearing Dean’s voice was like a reprieve. And if the omega sounded a little brighter by the end of their call, well, Castiel could hold onto that too.

* * *

The following night there was an insistent buzzing in his ear, dragging him out of the last dredges of sleep as a blue light from the nightstand met his eyes. Blinking away the harshness of it in the dark of his room, he grasped his phone, looking to see who would be calling this late. He blinked, straining his eyes to make sure he was reading it right. His heart sped up, and he fumbled to answer.

“Dean?”

“Cas.” The name was gasped out in a way that definitely didn’t make heat blossom under Castiel’s skin.

“Dean, what—what’s wrong?”

“Um, Sam isn’t picking up his phone, and I—” the words were cut off by a whine, and Castiel could hear the bed creaking as Dean panted heavily.

“Dean, where’s Benny?”

“He had a, um, work thing, emergency, and—” the omega was cut off momentarily by the inadvertent growl that ripped from Castiel’s throat, one which died quickly when he heard a whimper from the omega.

“I’m sorry. So sorry. I—he left. And then…?”

“I had a, um, a toy, but it…ah, it broke.”

The alpha tried to ignore the blood immediately rushing south, desperately pushing aside the fantasy that had been entertaining him since Dean had mentioned his heat.

“I see.” He had to keep his voice level. One of them needed to be in control.

“Alpha, I need…please…I need…”

Okay, maybe he could entertain the fantasy just a bit longer.

“I need you to—to pick me up another fake knot.”

The words were rushed out as if they physically pained him, and Castiel found his racing mind suddenly coming to a halt. Of course. Dean didn’t want him, not really—he was just backup. The only person who'd answered their phone.

“Of course. I’ll uh, be as quick as possible. Where are you?”

The omega managed to get out the address, hanging up after Castiel reassured him he’d hurry. The alpha dragged himself out of bed, pulling on sweats and a t-shirt as he tried to ignore the pained feeling settling in his chest. He slipped out into the hall, heading down the stairs and preparing to grab his keys when he glanced over to the pullout and found it empty. Running into the kitchen to confirm Gabriel wasn’t there he cursed, having a feeling he knew why Sam wasn’t answering his phone.

He quickly placed a call of his own, relieved when Samandriel answered and assured him he could come over and watch Mary for him. He doubted she would wake up, but he could hardly take her with him to pick up a sex toy and couldn’t bring himself to leave her here alone.

When Samandriel arrived he thanked him profusely, a pang of guilt stabbing him at the slight swell of his baby bump. He made a mental note to make more friends or find a babysitter so he wouldn’t have to drag a pregnant omega out of bed if something like this happened again. Pushing the thought aside he rushed to his car and made his way to the nearest drug store, deliberating for only a moment before grabbing a basket. He quickly made his way to the toy section, scanning the options until he found one he thought Dean would like. Throwing it in the basket he headed toward the register, stopping and throwing in some power bars and energy drinks he knew Dean used to like during his heat. He doubted Benny left him with no food or fluids, but a part of his brain was still insisting he take care of his mate. Or at least, that’s what he told himself as he also threw in a mini pie they had.

It wasn’t until he was back in his car, following his GPS to the address Dean had given him, that he began to wonder how exactly he was going to bring this to the omega with the place smelling like heat. He’d like to think he was in control of his alpha instincts, but he had to admit Dean had always smelled irresistible, and with the smell of another alpha there the need to claim might be…

No, he couldn’t think like that. He needed to keep a level head and focus. Dean was clearly distressed and he didn’t need the alpha adding to it. He could do this.

Still, he found himself picking up his phone, dialing the omega.

“Cas?”

“Dean, I’m five minutes away. Do you think you can walk?”

“Walk?” He sounded out of it, which was answer enough in itself. The man must've waited awhile before calling him. “Where are you? Cas, please I need you.”

“I’ll be there soon, Dean, okay? Hang in there another few minutes.” He ignored the moaning and panting on the other end of the phone, hanging up so he could focus on getting there quickly. Relief flooded over him when the GPS finally said he’d arrived.

Getting out of the car he grabbed the bag of supplies, quickly opening the toy’s packaging and putting in batteries to make sure it was working. Once that was complete he looked around the backseat, eyes lighting up as he found one of Mary’s jackets on the floor. Bingo.

He swiftly grabbed it, bringing it up to his nose as he approached the front door and taking a deep breathe before grabbing the spare key Dean said would be under the mat. Even with the jacket pressed against his face, Mary’s scent grounding him, as soon as he opened the door the unmistakable smell of Dean in heat permeated the house, wiggling into the back of Castiel’s brain. Spotting the stairs he climbed them, following the scent to a door at the end of a hall.

He clenched his fist before opening it, immediately freezing when he saw Dean thrashing about on top of the sheets, naked and glistening with sweat.  The years hadn't changed how beautiful he was, his freckled skin captivating as his back arched off the bed. How could he have ever left him?

His thoughts where broken by a groan, the omega apparently sensing he was here.

"Alpha, please—need you, need your knot, alpha—"

Castiel was glad he was still in the doorway, the stream of filth now coming out of Dean's mouth gripping him in a way that made his mind stop. Here he was, naked and writhing before him, begging for him—no, now presenting for him. God had Castiel missed that ass.

And yet, even as every nerve in his body screamed at him to _fuck mate claim_ , there was still that tiny voice of reason whispering in the back of his mind that the only reason Dean was saying these things, behaving this way, was the heat. He'd asked for another toy. Hell, he'd asked for a completely different alpha to spend his heat with. Castiel couldn't do that to Dean. Wouldn't.

Averting his eyes and walking slowly toward the omega he pulled out the fake knot, placing the bag with the rest of the items on the floor beside the bed.

"Dean? I got the toy you wanted."

"Don't want a toy. Want you alpha. Please, need you so bad. Need your knot. Alpha please, please alpha, I—"

"Dean." He said firmly, putting in a bit of a growl to make him listen. If Dean didn’t stop the begging soon it would be the end of him. Fortunately, at the authority in his voice the omega stilled, small whimper escaping his mouth.

"Dean, I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?"

"Yes alpha. I'll do anything you want."

"Good. I need you to take this toy, and I need you to use it on yourself." Another whine escaped the omega, and Castiel tried to ignore the way he was shaking.

"Alpha, please—"

"Use the toy, Dean. You said anything I wanted, didn’t you?"

"Yes," he whimpered, reaching out and grabbing the fake knot. Castiel didn't want to rip himself from the omega's side, but he knew he'd done what he came here to do; the sight of Dean starting to use the toy confirmed he wasn't needed anymore. It would be selfish, really, to stay—no matter how much he wanted to at least wait and make sure the omega was alright. Trying to focus on what Dean would want he slowly backed out of the room, gently closing the door behind him and heading back outside. Spare key once again under the mat, he got into his car, finally pushing the jacket aside as he took a deep breathe. Gripping the steering wheel tightly he headed home, again thanking Samandriel when he got back. He waited to see the omega drive off before slinking over to the empty pullout, collapsing into an exhausted sleep.

"Wake up!" He felt a sharp pain on his side, knocking him over onto his back and shocking his eyes open. Above him loomed Gabriel, hands on his hips.

"Are you up or do I need to kick you again?

"No! Why did you kick me in the first place?"

"Because you're lying in my bed, that's why. Also, it's almost noon."

"Wait, noon?” He reached for his phone, confirming the time. “What about kindergarten?"

"Oh, I just called the phone number you have on the fridge that says school and told them she was sick. Three day weekend, am I right? Anyway she's upstairs having a tea party."

"She’s not supposed to skip school, Gabriel, why didn't you just wake me up?"

"Because you looked like hell. Still do. Speaking of which, what happened to you?"

Castiel sighed, wanting to press the subject of Gabriel just calling his daughter out of school. That, and the throbbing of his rib cage. Still, neither could be helped now, and he did need to process what happened the night before...

"Dean called me last night."

"No."

"Yes."

"For a threesome with his new beau?"

"What? No! I don't—he called because his 'new beau' left for a work emergency and his fake knot broke."

"So you gave him a real one?"

"Gabriel!” he hissed, looking up at the stairs to make sure Mary didn’t inadvertently come down during this conversation. “No. He called asking if I would bring him a new one. Apparently Sam wasn't answering his phone.” He narrowed his eyes at the omega. “That wouldn't have anything to do with your absence last night, would it?"

He gave him an accusing look, unsurprised by the grin stretching across his brother’s face.

"I climbed that man like a tree."

"Ugh, I so did not need that mental picture."

"Too late!” His smile widened, clearly pleased with himself. “So what, you brought him a fake knot?"

"Yes."

"And you delivered it personally."

"Yes."

"But it wasn't a personal delivery?"

"Jesus Christ Gabe, no, nothing happened."

" _How_ did nothing happen?" His voice was tinged with disbelief that Castiel didn’t appreciate.

"He didn't want anything to happen. He didn't call asking for me, he just needed a fake knot. And I wasn't about to take advantage of him."

Gabriel stared at him, mouth slightly ajar.

"Cassie, I respect that about you, really, I do. But you're an idiot."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Why do you think he called _you_. Like he doesn't have any other friends it might be less awkward to get one from?"

That gave Castiel pause, thinking about the variety of people Dean could've called to ask—Charlie, Ellen, Samandriel...

"You...what are you suggesting?"

"All I'm saying is, it wasn't just about the fake knot."

The thought had hope thrumming inside him, but he quickly quashed it. Sure, maybe Dean subconsciously wanted his true mate, but that didn't change what his rational mind wanted. Gabriel might be willing to read into things, but Castiel couldn't think like that. It was too painful.

The omega sighed, as if sensing what he was thinking. "Come on. I'll make a batch of my caramel banana pancakes. Go get the rugrat."

The alpha couldn't deny pancakes sounded really good right now, as did abandoning the subject, so he got up with a groan, running upstairs and changing into clean clothes before bringing Mary back down with him. The girl was happy to abandon her tea party and help with the pancakes, easily captivated by Gabriel's skill in the kitchen and his ‘rules of cooking’—rules which mostly centered around Castiel having to do what he said. As his brother ordered him around the kitchen, Castiel couldn't help but think how great it was that Mary had such strong omega role models in her life. Between Dean and Gabriel, she wouldn’t grow up with any misconceptions or stereotypes. No matter her future designation, she would know it wasn't determinative of who you are; that everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

His thoughts were jolted by a knock at the door, causing him to turn to Gabriel and see if he was expecting anyone.

"Looks like somebody's back for more," the omega said with a wink. Castiel rolled his eyes, wiping off his hands before leaving the kitchen.

"Tell him I expect nothing less than an edible arrangement and a thank you card." The alpha ignored the call from the other room, opening the door and expecting to see the younger Winchester. He froze as his eyes were instead met with two familiar figures.

His parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me lol.  
> Let me know what you think!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back! I'm so sorry about the delay, things have been busy as usual, but I hope this chapter helps make it up to those who've been waiting. I also want to give a big thank you to whoever nominated this fic for the Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection, it really meant a lot to me that someone liked this story that much. And everyone who comments, you make my day! 
> 
> TW: there is brief discussion of an attempted assault towards the end of the chapter. No graphic details or anything.
> 
> Also should probably disclaim that this in no way is an accurate depiction of the legal system.

It wasn't possible. It couldn't be. How could they have found out?

"What's taking so long out there? Did someone forget to--"

Whatever Gabriel was going to say was cut short when he walked around the corner, freezing at the sight of their parents in the doorway.

"Gabriel." Their nod was short, an acknowledgment with no hint of surprise. Castiel felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, only comforted by the fact Gabriel seemed as shocked as him. "And is that our granddaughter?"

Glancing over his shoulder and seeing Mary peek out from behind the wall seemed to jolt him out of his stupor. Whatever was going on, he hadn't planned on letting his parents meet her without thinking it over and planning it well in advance, if at all--and definitely not before talking with Dean. It occurred to him that that was probably why they came without telling him in the first place, to catch him off guard and worm their way in. Five years ago that might have worked, but a lot had changed since then.

"Gabriel, take Mary upstairs. Text Sam." As bad as he knew the backlash would be, he'd have no chance of regaining Dean's trust if he didn't tell him or his brother about this surprise visit quickly. He hoped that by doing so now he might garner some good will.

Somehow he doubted it.

He could hear shuffling behind him as Gabriel complied, meanwhile standing resolutely in the doorway as his parents' expressions soured. No one spoke until the sound of footsteps disappeared with the thud of a door closing, finally leaving silence.

"Well? Aren't you going to invite us in?" The tone was dry, his mother clearly annoyed at not being invited in to see her granddaughter upon arrival. The expectation in her voice made his throat feel dry, and suddenly he was wishing Gabriel were with him.

Still, as he saw a couple gazing curiously at them as they walked down the sidewalk, he knew it would be better not to have this conversation on his front steps. Reluctantly he stepped aside, a small part of him glad he'd put away his pullout earlier. As much as he wanted to tell himself he no longer cared about his parents' opinions, self-consciousness seemed to creep into the back of his mind no matter how much he tried to shove it back down.

"Why don't you take a seat on the couch." He watched carefully as they made their way over, dragging a chair to face them across his coffee table. He ignored the disdain evident on his parents' faces as their eyes scanned his admittedly messy place, squaring his shoulders and trying to keep from fidgeting as their gazes landed back on him.

"So. Why are you here?"

"It's rude not to offer your guests a beverage. We're well, by the way." Castiel couldn't help let out a sigh at that, already weary under his mother's pinched expression and raised brow.

"Alright, glad to hear it. May I offer you anything? Water? Tea?"

"No, thank you. We have water in the car."

Of course they did. Castiel pushed down his annoyance, trying to remain focused. He took a deep breath and smoothed out his expression.

"Alright. Again, why are you here?"

"To see our granddaughter, of course."

The easy, practiced delivery would've seemed sincere if he didn't know them like he did.

"Well, you saw her. Anything else before you head back?"

He regretted his words almost immediately at the affronted look he received.

"I don't appreciate that attitude, Castiel. We travelled a long way to be here, just to visit a granddaughter we didn't even know we had. And what a shock that was! Especially that you would keep something like that from us. The least you can do is show some basic decency."

"Apologies," he muttered, feeling shame creeping up his skin despite the voice in his head reminding him of his reasons.

Silence stretched between them again. Castiel really tried not to fidget.

"How did you find out about her?"

"Really Castiel, did you think you could hide something like this?"

"It was working for a while."

She pursed her lips, clearly unimpressed.

"Michael told us. Like you should have." His father spoke for the first time, words clipped and austere as always. Somehow he always made Castiel feel small in a way no one else could.

"Michael--why--how did Michael know?"

"He keeps tabs on your brother, Gabriel," he sniffed. "Makes sure he doesn't do anything that might hurt the family's reputation. When he saw...'selfies' on one of those social media sites, taken with a child Gabriel indicated was his niece, Michael called us immediately. Getting your address was easy."

Castiel felt heat building in his stomach, cursing Gabriel internally for being so careless. After he'd told him he didn't want his parents to know again and again, for him to then do something so stupid...

"Because your brother was prescient enough to alert us of something you were apparently too short-sighted to, we decided to come here and set things right."

"And how is that?"

"We talked to Meg."

Of all the things he thought they'd say, that wasn't one of them. He gaped, at a loss for words as his mother decided to step in.

"We understand when you found out about the child you felt you were doing the right thing by returning here, leaving your life in New York. That you thought she wouldn't understand."

"I left that marriage because she'd been cheating on me. Mary had nothing to do with it." His parents' expressions never changed, ignoring his words as they pressed onward.

"But after explaining the circumstances she was quite understanding. In fact, she said she's even willing to take you back."

" _She's_ willing to take _me_ back?

"Not only that, but to raise the child with you. Really, her willingness to welcome a strange child into her home as her own is a testament to her motherly instinct."

Castiel held back a snort. Meg was many things, but motherly wasn't one of them. Unfortunately, his parents didn't stop there.

"We contacted several private schools in the area and think we can secure the girl a spot with a moderate donation. As for your job I'm sure Cravate would consider rehiring you if--"

"No! I'm not- Stop! Just--just stop."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, disbelief at the narrative his parents had constructed clouding his response. So this is why they came. To get him back in line, restore their image with the return of the prodigal son--and of course, secure their influence on future generations.

"I'm sure such forgiveness is overwhelming, especially coming so suddenly. Rest assured you will be able to make it up to Meg, in time."

"I'm not--there is nothing to make up for!"

His mother looked exasperated, opening her mouth to reply before his father suddenly cut her off.

"Enough with this childishness, Castiel. Running away from your marriage, leaving a job you worked toward for years--that could provide for your family! Throwing away everything we've done for you and cutting off contact, hiding our grandchild from us, depriving her of her family and all the opportunities you could've given her, instead keeping her in this hick town. You're too young for a midlife crisis, so I can only assume your behavior is from some sort of stress-induced breakdown."

Castiel struggled for words, feeling lost at the sting his father's judgment caused. If he was being honest with himself, he had to admit his actions did sound childish when phrased like that; that he did feel spiteful toward his parents, that he had been looking for an excuse to escape his marriage--consciously or not--for years.

"Now we have gone out of our way to make sure your daughter can transfer schools starting in the spring. That should give us enough time for our lawyer to--"

"Hold on, lawyers? No--just, wait a minute."  He put his head in his hands, trying to digest everything being thrown at him as he felt the conversation spiraling out of his control. It didn't hide his father's sneer.

"Do you realize how selfish you're being, Castiel? You know she would have opportunities she will never get here. New York has some of the finest private schools in the country, she would get an unparalleled education--"

"--as well as the opportunity to be exposed to culture. Museums, the ballet, the symphony--"

"--not to mention she would be exposed to high society; the connections she would make would set her up for any career she wished to pursue--"

The words were familiar, the very same arguments he had made to Dean all those years ago when trying to convince the omega to move to the city. It had made such sense to him, his job lined up at a prestigious firm, the culture of the city, the opportunities they would be able to give their children. The fact that Dean didn't seem to understand, refused to even consider leaving Kansas, had only convinced Castiel that maybe parting was the right choice. That they wanted different things in life.

Yet hearing them now, five years after his disastrous marriage and the realization he hated his 'dream job,' they seemed hollow. Castiel had grown up in the city, had attended the prestigious schools and gotten all the opportunities money could buy. Yet all it had done was lead him down a road of misguided priorities and regret.

"I understand what New York offers," he cut his parents off, head finally feeling clearer. "But my answer is no."

His mother sat back, affronted.

"So that's it? You won't even consider what's in your child's best interest?"

"I am considering what's in her best interest. That's why I'm saying no."

Both of them looked at him like he'd been speaking Latin, their incomprehension palpable in the silence of the room.

"So what, then? You stay here, raise her yourself? The girl needs both an alpha and omega parent."

"She already has an alpha and omega parent," he growled, knowing it was useless to try and change their antiquated ideas concerning gender presentation. Their complete denial of Dean's existence, on the other hand...

His parents exchanged a look, his mother deciding to respond.

"Children are very susceptible, Castiel. Their minds are like clay. They need to be molded so that they share our values, associate with the right people."

"You know your granddaughter wouldn't exist without me associating with people you disapprove of."

"Exactly. Who knows what kind of ideas her head's been filled with, or what sort of genes she's inherited. The longer she stays here the harder it will be for her to adjust into a proper young woman, to accept her status.

Castiel narrowed his eyes, noting his mother's word choice.

"Her status."

"Yes. It's important that she knows where she came from, the distinction that results from being a part of this family. The expectations that result from it." She paused, seeming to weigh her next words carefully. "Of course, we could also test for designation as early as seven, so as to raise her accordingly. Raising an alpha is very different from raising an omega, you know. If only we'd had that sort of technology when we were raising you and your brothers, Gabriel might've turned out differently..."

Castiel felt his stomach drop, even though her words were not exactly unexpected. He knew his parents were traditionalists, that they treated their children of different designations very differently--the way they tried to mate off Gabriel was evidence enough of that. Yet it somehow felt more raw when relevant to his own daughter, an instinctual urge to protect her from their judgments and prejudices awakening. Before he could object, however, his father was cutting in.

"Oh, forget about just designation testing, there's no need with modern medical advances. Designation selection options are developing quickly. Dr. Mendellson at Columbia has been doing amazing trial work with directing children toward alpha presentation with a series of injections--"

"Enough."

The snarl in his voice had the desired effect, both his parents abruptly silent. He rubbed his temple, a headache forming quickly between his brows. The designation testing he could've anticipated, but the genetic manipulation? His daughter was perfect no matter what she presented as. To insist she go through a series of painful medical treatments to change such a basic part of herself, to send the message that she wasn't enough...not to mention the medical advances were still far from complete, with genetic defects commonly resulting from said trials. Serious illnesses, like cystic fibrosis or Huntington's. Though he knew his parents were traditionalists, he never thought they'd suggest putting their own granddaughter through such a risky procedure just to make sure she was an alpha.

The thought made his blood boil.

"Mary is fine with the school she has here. She is perfectly provided for. But that's not really why you're here, is it? No, you just want to ensure your blood line stays strong with enough alphas in it."

"And what's so wrong with that? Research has shown time and time again that alphas are not only physically superior but also dominate almost every career field. She would have more opportunities, could bring honor to the family. You and Gabriel certainly haven't done so; add that to her sketchy heritage and she's already looking at an uphill climb."

"Sketchy heritage? What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

His father seemed unaffected by the ire in his voice, sneer back in full force.

"We presume she was fathered by that mechanic you shacked up with the last time you were here."

"And?"

His mother seemed to sense the increasing tension, cutting in with an attempt at defusing the situation.

"And there's a reason why we couldn't have you marrying him, Castiel. He doesn't have the...pedigree. He's simply..."

"Trash." His father cut in, the challenge in his eyes obvious. Castiel felt a growl rumbling in his throat, yet he was somehow glad his parents were laying all their cards on the table. Five years ago they had tried to cloak their disdain for Dean, keeping their comments on family status general and avoiding direct insults in favor of focusing on what Castiel had been working towards and the problems in their relationship. Now there were no more niceties or misdirection, leaving him feeling like he was on the edge of a precipice he couldn't come back from.

"Leaving Dean was the biggest mistake of my life. He is so much more than the social status you reduce him to."

"Social status is one thing, Castiel, something we could've dealt with. It was his temperament that made him a brute, rude and completely oblivious to his place. Always talking back, refusing to avert his eyes or defer to alphas' decisions. That kind of attitude can't be fixed, at least not with the relaxed hand you always had with him."

Fire seemed to climb his throat at the way his father spoke of Dean. He thought back to when they were together, how he'd loved the omega's independence, the way he carried himself with shoulders squared and head held high. How he admired the way Dean wasn't afraid to speak his mind, the spark he always seemed to carry with him. Hearing his father demean those qualities had his heart aching with some long-forgotten pain.

"That omega is a human being who has every right to act like a regular person rather than your antiquated idea of what someone of his designation should be."

"That's always been your problem, Castiel. You somehow got these ridiculous liberal ideas in your head and were never able to live up to your status. Omegas are lesser, physically, mentally--they need an alpha to guide them. It's simple biology."

Castiel couldn't believe the bullshit coming out of his father's mouth. Had he always been this openly bigoted? Had Castiel missed it? Or perhaps he was willfully ignorant. He'd always assumed the reason Dean was so resistant to seeing his family was the tension, tension he'd believed would go away as long as they made an effort. Suddenly he felt like Dean might've seen something he didn't. The thought he'd been so oblivious, now faced with the filth his father was spewing, had his throat tightening. His mind began to become fuzzy with his fury as he thought over all the the things his parents had said about his truemate, direct or indirect, and what little he'd done. Dean deserved so much better, and even if he failed him then, he could still stand up for him now.

"Dean is ten times the man you will ever be," he snarled, glad to see his father's face turn scarlet as he suddenly sprung up. Castiel followed suit, facing him head on.

"You ungrateful little--that _bitch_ is a two-bit whore who--"

Before Castiel could think about what he was doing he was lunging forward, fist flying into his father's face with a sickening crunch. The smell of copper in the air only seemed to fuel the fire in his gut, his mother's cries as his father fell back onto the couch distant to his ears as he stalked forward. Yet just as he had grabbed the man's collar, poised to level another blow, the door shot open with a bang that startled him back. Whipping his head around he wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or not about Sam Winchester's frame in the doorway. The alpha himself seemed startled at the scene he walked in on, determined look on his face dropping as he paused a few steps in.

"Um...I heard yelling and...uh, if I'm interrupting something, I can--"

"Look at what that harlot has done to you! Acting like an animal!" His mother shrieked, cutting Sam off like he wasn't there. Castiel had never heard her this loud before, a sharp contrast to her usually icy demeanor. Yet instead of feeling guilt as his heart rate slowed, he only really felt numb. Save the ache in his hand.

"This is far from over Castiel. You'll be hearing from our lawyer!" With that she was dragging his father up, doting at his face with a blood soaked handkerchief as he pushed her away and headed toward the door. When their glares shifted from him to the strange alpha they were passing, seeming a bit surprised at his presence, his mother turned around again, pointing at Castiel dramatically before shrieking "See! We have witnesses!"

Castiel would've laughed if the seriousness of the situation wasn't coming back to him quickly, the slamming of the door as his parent's finally left echoing in the silence left behind. When neither alpha moved, Castiel figured it was time to get the hardest part over with.

"Mary's upstairs with Gabriel." His voice was quiet now, adrenaline leaving his system. He expected Sam to immediately charge through the house, alpha posturing in full effect as he whisked away his niece--so he was surprised when the alpha responded with a sigh.

"We need to talk first."

Castiel gaped for a moment before nodding, guiding Sam to his kitchen table and watching him drop down into a chair with a huff.

"Alright, spill."

Castiel took a tentative seat as he flexed his hand. Was that kind of swelling normal?

"Spill what?"

" _Spill what_? What I just walked in on! Come on, I need details. Why where they here, what did they want, what was said."

"What do you think?" he responded, annoyed. "Their visit was a surprise. Apparently our other brother saw one of Gabriel's selfies with Mary on a social media site and told them about her. They wanted to meet her. Wanted to convince me to bring her back to New York." He paused, noting the way the other alpha's face darkened. If only that were all. "They wanted to do designation testing. To try alpha conditioning if she wasn't..." he let the words drift away, his skin suddenly feeling clammy.

"That's...some fucked up stuff."

"Yes."

The stormy look on the other man's face wasn't gone, but it was now laced with more open worry.

"I mean, the side effects are more than volatile, those kids end up sick--not to mention the psychological after-effects. I mean _Christ_."

"Indeed. I knew they had traditional viewpoints, but I never thought..." That was the problem, wasn't it? He'd never noticed just how bad it was before because he didn't have to.

"They can't. We can't let that happen. How do we stop it from happening?" He leaned forward in his seat, eyes trained on the other alpha as he waited to hear ideas from the lawyer. Sam on the other hand sat back, crossing his arms and looking pensive.

"Well, you could start by saying no."

Castiel blinked.

"I did. I'm talking about legal barriers. Can't we get a restraining order? And injunction?"

The man gave him an assessing look.

"Not really. They haven't done anything yet."

"That's it? You've got nothing?" 

Sam sighed, jaw tight.

"Okay, here's the deal. The only legal footing they have is through you. For example, claiming you're incompetent, unwell, unable to care for your kid. And through you, by extension, Dean. So they'd petition the court for custody."

"But they would need evidence for that, right? They can't just call us incompetent with nothing to back it up with."

Sam frowned at him, brows furrowed, before leaning back.

"Yeah, but things don't always sound the same when stacked up in a court room."

"What does that mean?"

"I mean, from a third-party perspective, some of your actions might seem...erratic."

"Erratic?"

"Suddenly divorcing your wife, moving halfway across the country to take a job below your skill level, or, I don't know, physically assaulting your father."

"But that..." Castiel paused as his face flushed, realizing the alpha was right. When said like that, he did sound like a mess. "I mean, it could be explained, right? The context? And there would still be Dean."

"I think we both know who's side a judge would rule for in a custody dispute between a wealthy mated couple and an unwed, poor, unconventional omega in a red state like Kansas, even with the presumption in favor of parental custody. As for you, sure, you'd get the chance to tell your side of the story. And then the judge will decide which version they believe."

Castiel stared down at the table, worry churning inside him.

"So then? There must be a better solution."

The other alpha simply stared, chewing on the inside of his mouth.

"You're not gonna like it."

"Just spit it out."

That made Same sit up after a pause, folding his hands in front of him with a sigh.

"Well, they'd lose any such avenue if you disclaimed your parental rights."

Castiel blinked, mulling over his words.

"You mean..."

"Legally signed over full custody to Dean. If you have no legal right to her, neither do they."

The words hit him like a punch to the gut, a sense of betrayal somehow sneaking through him. Just when he thought he and Sam were on the same page...Castiel wasn't sure how long the other alpha had been holding on to this information, but he was sure he didn't just happen to know it offhand. The thought had every muscle in his body tensing.

"So that's it then? Your big plan? Tell me, how long have you been waiting to bring this up?"

"I haven't been waiting on anything, except your family getting involved. Mary's _my_ family, as is Dean, so of course I was prepared."

"Admit it," he snarled, "you've been looking for a way to get me out of the picture ever since I came back."

"I've been looking for ways to keep my family safe! You asked how you could make sure they never got custody of her, I told you. Any other lawyer will tell you the same."

At Castiel's scathing look, he continued.

"Look, you can always wait. See if they try to bring a custody action. They might not; it might not be worth it to them. But you asked me how to make sure, and that's the only way to do so within the context of the law." After a beat, he continued. "I don't know what else you want me to say."

"What I want is for you to take your suggestion and shove it up your a--"

"Hey!"

Both heads snapped toward the staircase at the interjection, where Gabriel had appeared with Mary in tow.

"It sounded like they left." His voice was a bit faster than usual, his calm walk down the rest of the stairs betrayed by the quiver in his voice. "What happened?"

Castiel sighed, noting the usually talkative Mary was quiet as she scented the tension in the air, watching them with wide eyes. He was about to respond when Sam interrupted, anger flashing in his eyes.

"Despite everyone emphasizing the importance of anonymity, apparently _someone_  was careless enough to post identifying selfies online. Now what kind of person would do something so stupid _and_ selfish?"

"Hey." Castiel admonished, seeing that Gabriel was too shocked to respond as realization dawned over him. He could also see the defensive set of his shoulders, and what might've been hurt quickly wiped from his face. Instead of addressing Sam he turned to face Castiel, apparently not bothering with the other alpha.

"That's not--our parents don't even know how to use Instagram!"

"They didn't see it. Michael did, and he told them."

He didn't miss the way the omega suddenly stilled, eyes narrowing.

"What do you mean Michael saw them?"

"Apparently he's been keeping tabs on you, 'to protect the family reputation,' as father said."

Gabriel's face darkened, scent turning sour. Something was clearly wrong, more than Castiel could figure out based on what he'd said. It was bad enough that Mary started squirming in her uncle's arms, face scrunched up at the acrid smell he was emitting.

"Here." Sam huffed as he approached, taking Mary from the omega's arms without meeting his eyes and turning back toward Castiel. "You've heard what I have to say. Think it over. I'm sure Dean will contact you when he's ready to talk."

Castiel felt his stomach drop at the words, even as he bristled at the reminder of Sam's suggestion. He felt the urge to go after them and grab Mary as the other alpha walked towards the door, dread creeping up his spine as he considered whether or not Dean would want to talk to him at all. It felt like his daughter was slipping through his fingers, but he forced himself to stand back, waving with a 'goodbye sweetheart, I'll see you soon,' and his best reassuring smile. Sam didn't pause, and he only saw Mary wave back in confusion for a few seconds before they were out the door.

He stared at where they left for a few moments as worry radiated off of him. Yet amidst his concern was an ever growing feeling of guilt at putting Mary in such a situation in the first place; no child should have to see their family members fighting, the tension palpable as the room filled with scents of aggression. She deserved an environment where she could feel safe and secure, not afraid, and it pained Castiel that he couldn't provide that. That he couldn't wrap her up in his arms and shield her from all the bad out there in the world.

Clenching his fists and shoving the thought away, he turned around only to find Gabriel was gone. Surprised at the absence, he began searching through the house, calling for his brother while going from one empty room to another. It wasn't until he got to the kitchen that he spotted a familiar head of hair through the window, the omega sitting on the back porch and staring out at his garden. Castiel opened the back door, slowly stepping outside to join him. He was relieved when Gabriel didn't object to his presence as he perched himself next to him, surveying his plants without a word. They sat like that for what felt like a long time, each man lost in his own thoughts. Eventually though his brother's scent seemed to calm, and Castiel knew he needed to break the silence. 

"Alright. What's up."

The omega momentarily tensed again before visibly relaxing and forcing his face into a blank mask.

"Nothing. Just caught off guard by the surprise visit. I'm sorry Cassie, I really didn't think anyone in the family would see the pictures..."

"Come on, we both know it was more than that. I know you dislike Michael but I've never seen you look so...so..." He struggled to find the words, glad when Gabriel was the one to fill in the silence.

"I didn't think he was watching me."

"And?" Castiel knew his brother was stronger than most, would think it more likely for Gabriel to take such spying as an opportunity to irritate the unwanted spectator. The way he avoided his eyes and pursed his lips wasn't like him.

"Come on, Gabe. You know you can trust me with anything, right?"

The omega closed his eyes, letting his head hang down as he blew out a sigh. Then he was straightening up and staring in front of himself once more.

"You remember the night I left? Back when I was still living at the McMansion?"

"Of course." How could he have forgotten? Another soiree thrown by their parents in an effort to have Gabriel mated, followed by the omega's disappearance by morning. It had left Castiel a lot lonelier and with a sense of guilt he could never really explain, not to mention it was the last time he heard from his brother until he moved out for college.

"So, our parents were trying to find a rich guy to pawn me off on, I was driving them off one by one with my charming personality, and suddenly Michael comes up to me. Says he has some friends he wants me to meet, that they were hanging out in the library. I knew he had some ulterior motive, but I figured it was better to go find out than stay and get groped by more of my suitors. So I went. Followed him to the library, where he opened the door and said omega's first or some bullshit like that. So I go inside, and he immediately shuts and locks the door behind me."

Castiel had a feeling he knew where this was going, dread forming in his stomach. He didn't speak though, waiting for the omega to continue.

"It took me a few second to notice the 'friends' he wanted me to meet, approaching me from the other side of the room. You might remember them, Raphael and Bartholomew? Anyway, I asked them what was going on, trying to play it off as a joke. You know what they said? To shut up, because they had paid good money for this."

Castiel felt his heart clench, breath hitching.

"They didn't..."

"No. But only because they pinned me down next to some giant ass encyclopedia someone had left on the table. It only took a few good whacks for them to go down, and a few kicks to the crotch to make sure they stayed down long enough for me to jimmy open a window and slip outside."

Even as relief washed over him Castiel felt anger coiling in his gut. What the hell was Michael thinking? How could he do that to his own brother? It took almost all of his effort to stay seated, knowing he needed to be supportive. This wasn't about him.

"And then you left?"

"No." Gabriel had a sad smile on his face now, thumbs twiddling. "I went to mom and dad. Thought even though they wanted to mate me off, they wouldn't let me be...So I told them what Michael had done. And you know who they were mad at? Me. For 'hurting those nice young men.' Apparently it was my fault. I should've never left the party and gotten myself trapped in a room with two alphas. That if I'd been smarter I wouldn't have put myself in that situation. That's when I knew..."

"...you had to go."

They let the silence hang heavy between them, both lost in their own thoughts.

"I'm sorry that happened to you Gabriel. Truly. You know you could've told me, right? Before?"

"To be honest, Cassie, a part of me was always afraid you'd agree with them. Or maybe not believe me. I don't know. It's not like you and Michael were very close, but you always seemed so ready to follow mom and dad's orders...and you were the only family left I didn't hate. It was just...safer not to risk it."

The alpha held back a grimace, a sinking feeling settling in his stomach as he realized his willingness to go along with his parents' plans hadn't just hurt Dean. That Gabriel had gone through that and thought Castiel could possibly judge him for it...

"It's all in the past anyway, or at least I thought it was."

The alpha snapped out of his reverie, grounding himself back in the present.

"You think Michael watching you..."

"Is more than making sure I don't embarrass the family? Yeah. I think I made a fool of him, and he's too proud to let an omega one up him like that."

Castiel gazed ahead, mulling over his reasoning. Michael truly was proud, and vicious when he felt wronged. He felt a shiver run down his spine.

"You don't think he'd--"

"I don't know. I don't know if he'd want to recreate his little scene from twelve years ago, or sabotage my business, or something else. I don't even know how long he's been watching me. Does he know where I live? Certainly where I work. And who knows what else!"

"Hey, hey, hey," Castiel murmured at his brother's rising panic, wrapping his arms around him while trying to exude a calming scent. Gabriel seemed to pull himself together, his breathing evening out.

"I don't want to go back to California. Not yet, when I don't know..." His voice was quiet, practically a whisper, as if ashamed to admit it. Castiel squeezed tighter before pulling back, still holding onto his arms.

"Then don't." When the omega looked at him as if he'd grown two heads, he continued. "Look, you can run your business from anywhere, really, right? And you already said you were thinking about expanding to Lawrence, so that could be your official reason. Then you could stay with me for a while or get your own place until you find out more about what's going on, and you're ready to go back."

The omega seemed to consider his words, shoulders slacking as he looked around the garden.

"Yeah, okay."

"Okay?"

"I'll stay. At least until I decide what I want to do."

"Thank you."

"Thank me? Aren't I supposed to be thanking you? For offering me free room, board, and subscription to Skinemax?"

"You don't think I appreciate knowing you're safe until we figure out what Michael's doing?"

The omega rolled his eyes, punching his shoulder without much fire.

"Okay you big sap. Don't get all protective alpha on me.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

It was a lot to take in, a dizzying array of thoughts and emotions flying through his head before he could process everything that had happened. His conviction that his parents stay away from his daughter only grew with the knowledge that should she present omega, they would treat her so much worse than he imagined. No, it was clear to him that they posed a greater danger than just prejudicial rhetoric, and given that they still adored Michael, should they ever have her he would surely be around...

Maybe he needed to consider Sam's suggestion after all. Even as the thought sent a spike of fear through him, he knew he'd do whatever needed to be done to keep her safe. Much as he wanted to believe his parents would be done with him, done with Mary after today, he knew it was a pipe dream. That Michael still monitored Gabriel after all these years showed his family didn't let go easily, especially not when they feel they've been wronged. And even though he'd like to believe a judge would understand his side of the story, he knew his chances would be slim. It would be hard to show he's a good parent when he abandoned his true mate while he was pregnant. When he's only known his child for a few months, only sees her on weekends. When he attacked another alpha with said daughter in the same house.

It wouldn't have to mean not seeing her, though that would depend a lot on Dean--someone who won't be too happy with him. It was a lot to consider, and he probably should consult his own lawyer first before making any final decisions. Yes, that's what he would do. In fact, he would go make an appointment now. Standing, he patted Gabriel on the shoulder, turning to head inside and look up attorneys on his phone. He paused at the door, looking back at his brother.

"Hey Gabe?"

"Yeah?"

"No porn."

"Erotic art, Cassie. It's erotic art." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


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